Hello there! (newbie wave)

Well, I finally got an account here. And yet, I don't not know how often I will use it. I'll read more than write.

HELLO! Thanks for actually bothering to look at this. But other than that, the names Mel. Im a 6th year Hufflepuff and rather proud of it, and live in a "wonderful" suburb in the US. Im shy, quiet, stupid, cocky, loud, lonely, random, and one of my dreams is to be a carni. I love Harry Potter obviously, wolves, Teen Titans, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Resident Evil 4 (Leon Scott Kennedy = SEXY! And so is the merchant ), The Legend of Zelda, and my books which I love to hear about new ones to add to my list. I spend too much time reading and writing. I would love for you to check out my DeviantArt page. I mostly write Harry Potter stuff when it comes to fan fictions. So I might get that up eventually. Poetry and my own stories keep me as sane as I can be. One-shots. My hair is this orangish, blondish, redish, brownish color, and I've got freckles. I love too fast and get my heart broken in the end. I'm weird. Shy, innocent, and quiet is what I'm know for. I usually never shut about a guy if I like/love them. I've got more nicknames then fingers (maybe toes). I love REMUS LUPIN. He is amaZING. Neville Longbottom is another version of myself. I belong in Hufflepuff. My favorite word is "eternity". And I over use the words: like, dude, bastard, and damnit. I don't know what love is and I usually wear a plastic smile. My best friend is this idiotic kid named Nick and I have a complicated never-ending love story from hell with this dumbass-smarty-pants named Jeremy. Those two are my life and I love them both to death. I grew up to the sounds of pop music and will randomly dance around and sing along to Backstreet Boys if it's on. And I am a proud Iowan, even though I no longer live there.

Enough about me. Hope you like my stuff. It's all old stuff and the songfic one shot will be up sometime. So if you could be so kind, look at my shuft and tell me what you think. I love meeting new people (and HUGS! XD) and hope to talk to you soon. .

Friends: fickshonal . BlackRoseThorne . TJWIBBS08 .

deviantArt: www.blackballetshoes.deviantart.com

MuggleNet: http://fanfiction.mugglenet.com/viewuser.php?uid=53557

Myspace: www.myspace.com/moony013

So this is me. I usually have a lot to say, yet no one to listen. If you get me talking, I don't shut up. (So be warned...)

~~~~DeAr dIaRy~~~~

12/6/08

I know this isn't anything unusual for a lot of people, but I might be in love with my best friend. He's always had feelings for me. And what scares me the most is that I think he knows I have some sort of feelings for him. I've been so focused on waiting for Prince Charming that I haven't been able to see what's right in front of me. But I know I will end up hurting him. That's why I won't give my heart to anyone. But I know I will end up hurting him. That's why I won't give my heart to anyone. But if what I feel for him, it's a lot nicer then what I felt for Jeremy. It doesn't hurt at all. And that is something I can live with.

7.22.08

Yesterday was my b-day, so now I'm 16. Whoot. After trying to fix things between me and Jeremy for the last two months, I realized that HE was no longer worth it and I was the one who ended it almost a full month ago. He's moving on Friday. He didnt even wish me happy birthday and the birthday plans he had made for me back in January unfolded, just without him there. Nor did I get my flashlight from him. Oh well. But Nick said that he was going to force me to talk to him once he came to visist. We'll see. In other news, I have about three weeks left of summer and I've been putting off my summer reading list and now I'm just really pissed at myself for doing so. But at the same time, I'm kinda excited for school to start. Dunno. But anywho, things are good.

4.3.08

We're done. I don't even know if we're still friends, or if we were even friends to begin with. But it feels like there's this huge piece missing. And this constant pain won't go away. Although, I don't know why. We were never an actual couple, and all we did was hurt one another. I guess I miss him even if he hasn't gone anywhere. But he is leaving, and I know I'm not ready to say goodbye. Yet, he wants her instead of me, I was a terrible friend, so why does it matter. Fuck this.

1.23.08

Wow. Lots has happened since I last updated here. Basically, romance. Too much of the unwanted and not enough of the needed.

A quick summary: I want him. He wants me. He was her more. But he can't have either of us.

"Love ya. Want ya. Need ya. Can't have ya." - JearBear

10.8.07

hahah. more than a month later. BUT I DO HAVE NEWS. i plan to write finally write my 2 year delay fanfic that goes with one of the most amazing songs... EVER. according to me that it. i know no one reads this but what the hell. i could be lucky one day. other stuff, life is going well, everything is perfect. but ive come to the realization, that perfection sucks ass. i hate perfection. so everything is perfect, yet so wrong. i dont really know what to do with myself anymore. but well see... peace.

Matt=darlin'

Jeremy=love

Nick=hun

some of my favorite people in the world... 3

6.30.07

so i got my heart broken. well, its been broken, just took me this long to finally accept it. but today, omg, i just randomly see him. like i see him and my first reaction is "whoa" and my jaw kinda drops. like i knew he would be there, but i didnt think i would actually see him. he didnt look any different besides his hair. but his eyes... omg. they still haut me just thinking about them. like two solid pools of black. he didnt seem to happy to see me. more like he didnt know it was me, or he just chose to ignore me. he talked to me for like five seconds. walked with me for like ten. then i took a right and he went straight. is it normal for it to hurt like that? but i came to realize in telling nick that he and marie were meant to be, it felt like in saying so, i had to let go everything i ever felt for him. like hes my best friend. and i love him to death. but all the while i cant. i called him like twice today. it was nice. just wish i could have seen him tonight. but i hung out with brittini and shes like drink this mocha. and i cant say it without saying mocha choca bloka floka. and the dancing monkeys and the tribal dance... yeah. we were a little hyper obviously. but i just feel so empty and crap. it sucks. (dont know if im allowed to curse here...) like i hurt someone all while hurting myself. and i dont know if he still cares. i think in a way he does. but not really. dont know why im typing all this up. just have to get it out somewhere. he knows about dA, so i dont really want to blog on there. so this works. as for my writings, i might get this remus poem i wrote a while ago up. maybe my harry/ginny song fic. but otherwiese, enjoy the drama. it doesnt really go away.

Saying "yes" was just his way of "goodbye" ...

(...be my... ... ... ...)