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mobile edition| yorozuyagaren |
Author has written 35 stories for Gundam Wing/AC, X-overs, Rurouni Kenshin, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ranma, Newsies, Rob Roy, Spirited Away, Chronicles of Narnia, Princess Bride, Robin Hood, Les Miserables, Charles Dickens, Peter Pan, Misc. Plays/Musicals, Pocahontas, and Samurai Deeper Kyo. Bored? Talk to me. I like to talk. Sometimes I talk too much, and people yell at me to shut up. Name: Garen (not really, but that's another story) Titles: High Priest of Loki, Almost Big Brother to Ginny, Resident History Buff, Spelling and Grammar Nazi, Gavroche Incarnate, Valiant Little Tailor, Heir to the Kitchen Cynic, Anime Club Village Idiot (and if you've got an idea for another one, I will happily hear it and add it to the list) Birthday: February 23, 1988 (presents and birthday greetings are welcome, although I sometimes space out and forget it myself) Likes: Beer, mead, books, fantasy, playing blockflute, artichokes, swords, sewing (laugh and I'll throw my wooden cheese at you), history, fan-mail, acting, Renfaires, wooden cheese, rubber chickens, people who put up with my ridiculously long list of things that I like, meat, apples, stories, singing, and writing bad poetry. Dislikes: People who are randomly mean, having things thrown at me, waking up early, high schoolers, netspeak, people who use netspeak in a non-satirical manner, tomatoes, onions, garlic, zucchini, peas, bunny-huggers, my kid brother, and reviewers who leave one sentence saying that they like something without saying anything else. Things you should know: I absolutely detest Eragon, Christopher Paolini, and everything connected with them. Having read Eragon (and finished it, might I add), I have seen no evidence that Paolini is anything other than a spoiled hack who wrote a bad Star Wars/LotR crossover and then said "Mommy! Daddy! Look what I did!" and got published because Mommy and Daddy have a publishing company. You may say that I'm just saying this because I'm jealous. Well yah, I am jealous. I'm jealous that he was homeschooled, and therefore had time to write his idiocy instead of putting up with the drama of high school. I'm jealous that he has parents who own a publishing company, enabling him to be published in spite of having no talent whatsoever. He says he started his book when he was fifteen. Well, he finished most of it when he was eighteen or nineteen, which is not nearly as impressive. Take a gander at some of the stuff I've written. Pop over to my FictionPress account. Look at the dates, and compare them to my birthday, which is listed above. I was writing serious (though mostly on the humorous side), original stories during my sophmore year of high school, the same age that Paolini was when he "started" writing Eragon. I don't think I'm being vain when I say that my work at fifteen was better than his at nineteen. And I'm not even getting into the internal contradictions and just plain stupidity of the actual books. Suffice it to say that when I see Eragon-related stuff on display somewhere, I tend to get angry and rant. This has been heavily documented and has become a source of comedy for a few individuals, which I see as neither here nor there. I get especially angry when I'm in a bookstore, and they've got one of those "New Books for Young Adults" displays up, with Eragon and the stupid high school sparkle!vampire romance Twilight spin-offs competing for space with real actual books like the Redwall series, or the works of Charles de Lint and Holly Black. De Lint and Black both write modern fantasy, with a focus on faeries and the like and how they might interact with humans in the modern world. Both are exceptionally skilled writers who create feasible, living worlds through their stories. The sparklepire books paint a cleaned-up, dumbed-down version of both high school and vampires, turning what has traditionally been an evil and fearsome creature into yet another incarnation of the "mysterious bad boy" cliche that has been so very overdone by trashy romance novels. Another pet peeve is when they stick the fantasy stuff and the science fiction stuff in the same category. They are different. Science fiction has bizarre happenings that are explained by mathematics and obscure laws of physics. Doctor Who is a good example of this. Fantasy has bizarre happenings that are explained in a spiritual/religious manner (religious in this case meaning something that has to do with believing in something that some people may question, and not necessarily having to do with Christianity-- sorry if I'm bursting your bubble, but Christianity is not the only religion), such as magic. It's all in the explanations, people. Okay. The rant is over. You can come out from behind the chair now. I love getting emails and IMs, so feel free to drop me a line if you want to talk. My AIM is garenthehalfling, all one word, all lowercase. I am almost always online and ridiculously easy to get ahold of. (Just ask Ginny.) I try to answer reviews and emails as much as I can, but be warned that I often get sidetracked and end up typing epic-length messages full of obscure references to half a dozen things that you may or may not have heard of. Exhibit A: this profile. In regards to my fanfics: I'm afraid I'm much better at writing one-shots than chaptered stories. The only chaptered stories on here that are finished are A Key Round His Neck and Tillie Shakes, and it's looking like those are going to be the only ones I ever do finish. As you can tell from my fanfics and reviewing habits, I skip around a lot. Go read Ginny's fics. They're posted under NewsieGoil1899 and Mistress of the Midnight Darkness. I've got original stories and bad poetry on my FictionPress account, which is the same as the one on here. The "my website" link will get you there in a click. | |||||||||||
1. Euphemisms reviewsIn which Yukimura is late, and Saizoh is exposed to concepts that he'd rather not deal with.Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 686 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11-28-09 - Yukimura - Complete2. Kaoru's Cake Remix reviewsRewrite of the original, extended, troubleshot, and injected with a small dose of plot. Kenshin and Yahiko discover that it is Kaoru's birthday, and Tae volunteers her assistance in making a cake.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,645 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-18-09 - Complete3. Diary reviewsKaoru finds a diary and belatedly realizes that it's Kenshin's, after reading a passage about her. Warning, angstyfluff crackfic.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,544 - Reviews: 37 - Updated: 4-18-09 - Published: 6-6-05 - Kenshin & Kaoru - Complete4. A Little Surprise Called Robert » reviewsBetsy Callahan knew that Whistler would never love her. But damned if she wasn't going to find out why. Rated for implied sex.Newsies - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,724 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 12-7-08 - Published: 9-11-065. Mermaids in the East River » reviewsDavid Jacobs is a scholar. He doesn't believe in mermaids.Newsies - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,060 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 10-26-08 - Published: 3-6-07 - David J.6. Tillie Shakes » reviewsWhistler finds a girl in an alley, and ends up bringing her home. Not your average romance, possibly a sign of the apocalypse. Rated for Whistler's mouth. FINISHED!Newsies - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,022 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 1-22-07 - Published: 5-22-06 - Complete7. Nine Dead Men » reviewsA historically accurate Pocahontas fanfic in which Thomas will eventually end up with Nakoma. Rated for historical accuracy. Was originally titled Thomas and Nakoma.Pocahontas - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 1-17-07 - Published: 1-15-078. Running Thoughts reviewsThomas just killed a man. This is a ficlet of his thoughts as he runs back to the camp.Pocahontas - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-14-07 - Complete9. People Don't Make Sense reviewsFiddler on the Roof. Leonka, a Russian peasant boy, rambles about his friend Moishe, a Jewish boy, after Moishe was forced to leave Anatevka.Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 921 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-2-06 - Complete10. The Lost » reviewsStrictly a working title. Based on the book and my interpretations thereof. Margaret's daughter is orphaned and has a nighttime visitor who brings her to a place where she'll never be lonely again. I need people to submit characters for Lost Boys.Peter Pan - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-18-06 - Published: 10-1-0611. The Ballads of Robin Hood » reviewsA collection of episodes concerning our favourite outlaw, based for the most part on the actual ballads, with some digression.Robin Hood - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,134 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 9-11-06 - Published: 6-16-0612. The Taming of the Six » reviewsOr five, if we count The Twins as one. A series of five oneshots concerning the Lost Boys' entry into society, in no particular order. Slightly, Curly, and Nibs, in order of appearance. Based on the book.Peter Pan - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,989 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 6-26-06 - Published: 6-25-0613. The End of Things: Peter's Version reviewsA noncanonical, highly angsty drabblething with mentions of extreme confusion and implied suicide. A look at what might have happened if Hook had lived. Companionsequel to margotllama's The End of Things: Hook's Version.Peter Pan - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 319 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-23-06 - Peter Pan - Complete14. The Grave Misfortunes of Brianna Amanda Madison » reviewsBrianna Amanda Madison of Nottingham runs into Sherwood Forest hoping to get Robin Hood to protect her from her tyrannical father and fool of a betrothed. What she finds is a group of fanfic writers on a research expedition. Casting call inside.Robin Hood - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,333 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 6-15-06 - Published: 6-14-0615. Another Dickensian Sonnet reviewsOliver Twist. Another sonnet for all you lovely people who enjoyed the first one. Maybe I'll make it a series. This one is hopefully better than the last.Charles Dickens - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-25-06 - Complete16. A Dickensian Sonnet reviewsOliver Twist. We had to write a sonnet for English class, and I had just watched the musical version. I put it under humour because it's laughable.Charles Dickens - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 3-16-06 - Complete17. Spot and Whistler: St Patrick's Day Special reviewsEarly, but fun anyway. Spot discovers Whistler's deep dark secret. Or one of them, at any rate. Included is a rant about the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day, and a remodeled bathtub.Newsies - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,257 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-11-06 - Spot C. - Complete18. Musings of a Rabid Gavvie Fan reviewsNow, please don't take this the wrong way. I'm a little nutty, yes, but I like to think that I'm still relatively sane. I am not, in any way, claiming that I actually am Gavroche reincarnated. This is merely musing.Les Miserables - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-28-06 - Complete19. The Aftermath and a New Frock reviewsSo I like Cosette, so what. This is a poem about her.Les Miserables - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2-22-06 - Cosette - Complete20. Jacques le Menteur Remembers reviewsThe thoughts of one of the defenders of the barricade, somewhat after the fact. Musicalbased, since I don't have a copy of the book.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,904 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-12-06 - Complete21. NotMuch and the Bad Temper reviewsMuch is a failure with a sword. Will's had enough of trying to teach him.Robin Hood - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 838 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2-1-06 - Complete22. Memoirs of the Thieves' Forest reviewsEver wonder about the people who got arrested when they emptied the Thieves' Forest? Rated for some swearing.Princess Bride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 1-22-06 - Published: 1-21-06 - Complete23. River of Amber » reviewsChihiro and some friends go exploring in the woods one day, and stumble upon the old theme park. They find that Haku has been held captive by Yubaba, and Chihiro must join forces with new friends and old if she wants to save him for good.Spirited Away - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,386 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12-26-05 - Published: 12-21-05 - Chihiro O. & Kohaku N.24. The Faun's Nephew reviewsA Christmas present for Ginny. A tale about Genno, one of the castle staff who forsees the departure of the four Kings and Queens, and ends up following them on the hunt for the White Stag.Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-21-0525. Scotsmen and Blood Magic » reviewsRemember in the movie how Alasdair got killed? Ever wonder if there was some way of bringing him back? Well, one teenage witch may get her chance with a little help from our favourite phouka.Rob Roy - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,309 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12-10-05 - Published: 12-2-0526. A Key Round His Neck » reviewsRemember the key that Spot always wears around his neck? Remember the woman who was looking for her son Patrick? Ever wonder if there's a connection? Rated for swearing, nothing icky here.Newsies - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,214 - Reviews: 55 - Updated: 11-17-05 - Published: 10-13-05 - Spot C. - Complete27. Call Me Whister » reviewsHow Whistler came to Brooklyn and met Spot. I got the idea from A Quarter A Tale by TwoBits. Thanks, TwoBits!Newsies - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,076 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 10-29-05 - Published: 10-17-05 - Spot C.28. A Dillar, a Dollar reviewsWhistler and Spot have a conversation. It naturally leads to trouble. Oneshot.Newsies - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 790 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 10-25-05 - Spot C. - Complete29. Ranmayana » reviewsBased on the Indian epic poem Ramayana, only using the Ranma cast. Akane is kidnapped by Happosai and Ranma has to go rescue her with the help of Ryoga.Ranma - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,541 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-5-05 - Published: 8-18-0530. Taffy reviewsA shopkeeper gives Al some taffy to give to his brother. Very short, no pairings. Just yummy, sticky candy.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 394 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-16-05 - Edward E. - Complete31. Kaoru's Cake reviewsThe sequel to Diary. Kenshin makes a cake for Kaoru's birthday, with a little help from Tae and Yahiko.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-16-05 - Kenshin & Kaoru - Complete32. Heero Yuy Discovers Coffee » reviewsA mission on L2 brings interesting results. Non-yaoi.Gundam Wing/AC - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 6-29-04 - Published: 5-24-0433. Duo in Zeldaland reviewsBased on a dream I had in which I was Duo Maxwell trapped in a Zelda game, being chased by Captain Hook. In other words, it makes no sense whatsoever.X-overs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 937 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 6-9-04 - Complete34. The Laundry Pile reviewsNonyaoi, some Relenabashing, dirty laundry, and a very messy room.Gundam Wing/AC - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,864 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-24-04 - Complete35. Hunting Girl reviewsI just had to write this. Jethro Tull meets Gundam Wing. Dx2, and no, I did not get that backwards.Gundam Wing/AC - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-11-04 - Duo M. & Dorothy C. - Complete
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