While they travel to a certain eatery across space, Zaphod cannot wait. To eat.

Font Farples and Baggy Zimblewoody face their first assignment working for that wholly remarkable book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. With cameos from Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox. (Based on actual events...) (Seriously!)

A love story spanning both Mostly Harmless and And Another Thing. Where has Fenchurch been and what has she been up to? A HHG2G story, to fit with canon of the official works. How do computers converse? How what you don't know can help you. Your past is your past! What is the 'Most asked question ever."? Can you forgive Fenny? Find the #42 Easter Eggs.

Got days to live? Don't panic! Whether you want Dignity or Vengeance, we've got the diet solution for you!

In which Ford Prefect meddles with an eminent philosopher's thought-experiment

Arthur's curiosity pans to the confounding conundrum known as Zaphod Beeblebrox and how exactly his anatomy works. Marvin pitches in to help.

an alternative universe romp based on the second series of the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy Radio series. Gaze into the total Perspective Vortex, learn the secret of the bird People, use a body debit card, discover how throwing a cup can have an impact on civilization, find out how many clones are too many and what can be done about it, wait 900 years for paper napkins!

This is my idea of what the poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", mentioned in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", says. Yes, it's suitably gross. Fair warning to those who don't want to be grossed out!

This is my idea of what the book "Fifty-three More Things to do in Zero Gravity", mentioned in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", says. It agrees with "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" canon but I'm not trying to make it the official canon, it's just my idea and others can have theirs.

Songfic set to 'Journey of the Sorcerer', the classic theme music from the radio series, TV series and movie. The original instrumental music was composed by Bernie Leadon and performed by The Eagles, the lyrics that follow are mine. R&R if you enjoyed!

This is what the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has to say about reading.

The Hitchhiker's Guide characters find another truth about the universe!

Rupert Rupertson, from Fleetwood, is about to find out that alien abductions are not as fancy as he thought...

Trillian's life in space.

The Hitchhiker's Guide characters find the truth about the universe!

This story was born from a stupid shower thought, "what would happen if you input a probability of zero into the Infinite Improbability Drive". A stupid question deserves a stupid answer, which I've tried to provide while honoring the humor and style of Douglas Adams. The result is a 14 billion year diversion from the main story which has no impact in the end. Well sort of.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book, of which version 4.0 is a wholly remarkable excerpt from which, for copyright reasons, all Guide entries authored by field researchers other than amiddle811879, have been deleted.

The Heart of Gold crew makes a detour, and Arthur and Trillian have a talk. Part of my Twelve Days of Christmas ficathon.

Did I mention, this adventure is not for everyone. It does contain silliness, more than a normal obsession with the sound a duck makes, inside jokes and an occasional lack of cohesion. At no time were any septapi, platypus, or other semi-aquatic poisonous egg-laying mammals harmed in the writing of this story.

Arthur Dent is trying to prevent his house from being bulldozed when his friend Ford Prefect whisks him into outer space. It turns out Ford is an alien who has just saved Arthur from Earth's total annihilation. Ford introduces Arthur to his myriad friends, including many-headed President Zaphod Beeblebrox and sexy refugee and astrophysicist Trillian.

Arthur Dent has another encounter with Benjy and Frankie Mouse shortly after arriving with his group at Milliways. I don't own these characters, and even if I did I would still follow good advice and Don't Panic.

Zaphod's bored. Pretty much a pointless thing for towel day.

Ford waits for Arthur to come home during winter. Can be read as gen or pre-slash. This was written in 2008 and I guess I wasn't into fact checking back then.

The title says it all really. I don't even have to be here to summarize it. I guess i'll just rest a while then. Wake me up when my services are needed again.

Set at the beginning of Life, the Universe, and Everything. The sofa disappears, leaving Ford and Arthur still stuck on prehistoric Earth. Arthur realises that he doesn't want to be alone again. Ford disagrees.