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Our Favorite Assassin
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Focus: Books Discworld, Since: 03-29-10
Founder: She Who Shines - Stories: 16 - Followers: 0 - Staff: 1 - id: 80085
Finding fanfiction on the coolest psychokiller ever to grace the disc is very... tedious. Check here for some of the best Teatime-centric stories there, plus whatever the heck we've written up!

A Broken Tale by duchess-susan reviews
A series of drabbles for Teatime. Just something that happened when I started typing, really.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,598 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Jonathan T. - Complete
Inhumations Educations and EyeRollings by duchess-susan reviews
A sequel to 'Pokers, Swords and Lifetimers', but can be read seperately.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,819 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
During Death by She Who Shines reviews
...Teatime's adventures in the After Life.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,425 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Jonathan T.
Proudest Possession by Fanless reviews
A boy and his marble — and the spell it cast. By no means does Gawain come away unscathed from playing with Teatime's eye for years...
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Horror/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,189 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/1/2011 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Andy S.
The Wizard and the Assassin by Edna Pests reviews
Yes, I know that's a lame title. This is a very short story about Rincewind and Teatime meeting. Doesn't really explain why they are in a forest, or why Teatime's glass eye is now black. You can imagine why for yourself.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Complete
There's no better Present than a Future by P'tfami reviews
A sequel of sorts to Hogfather. Susan's Hogswatch woes are far from over. She's about to be given an offer she might not refuse...
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,404 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 2/2/2007 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T.
Marly Had a Brother by She Who Shines reviews
...and she was his only friend in the world. This story explores a way Jonathon Teatime--from Hogfather--might have become what he is. This is also a prequel of sorts to my other story Literally, so if you enjoyed that you might want to read this.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,469 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Jonathan T. - Complete
Literally by She Who Shines reviews
When the Unseen University becomes... well, unseen, it's up to Susan Sto-Helit to save the day. The problem is, the only person who can help her is Teatime's ghost's intended victim. Susan/Teatime; Kplus because of Teatime and possible romance later on
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,099 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
Not Again by She Who Shines reviews
When Susan gets thrown back in time to the most eventful Hogswatch of her life, she must face the most challenging villain she ever has all over again, while Teatime has to bring her back-and avoid the Susan who has no idea who he is. Sequel to Literally.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,958 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 3/17/2010 - Published: 2/11/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T.
Motherhood: A Series of Unnerving Events by She Who Shines reviews
Jonathan Teatime's mother reflects on the child that drove her to suicide. She really did love him, but did he *have* to kill her cat?-Kplus for insinuations of violence, though nothing is ever blatantly stated. Many thanks to duchess-susan for the title-
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,349 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Jonathan T. - Complete
One Dangerous Game by She Who Shines reviews
Hogswatch wasn't the FIRST time Susan met Teatime, even if she wanted it to be. Through a series of rounds, they played one dangerous game before. This story takes place after 'Soul Music' and before 'Hogfather'.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,786 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/1/2010 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
The Road by Edna Pests reviews
The road goes ever on and on..." And I don't know where I'm going with this one. So far, it's about a normal teenager from earth meeting Jonathan Teatime. I just started typing, and this came out. I'll probably delete it soon.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,772 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/8/2010 - Published: 11/7/2008
You'll be an Assassin! by BloodofthePen reviews
A parody of "Dentist!" from "Little Shop of Horrors," rewritten for the immortal Jonathan Teatime. You'll be an Assassin! Please read and review!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Complete
Magic So Ancient by auri mynonys reviews
When a wizarding student summons the ghost of Jonathan Teatime, the former assassin sets about regaining a corporeal form and getting revenge on the woman who murdered him – Susan Sto Helit. SusanxTeatime fic
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,795 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Jonathan T., Susan Sto Helit
Teatime, Pestilence, and Other Assorted Disasters by SperryDee reviews
Discworld drabbles, featuring Teatime, Angua....and pretty much anyone I feel like. Please review.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 551 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/14/2008
Pokers, Swords and Lifetimers by duchess-susan reviews
Susan meets Teatime again, because of Death's good intentions. Then the Afterlife gets involved.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,144 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete