Reviews for Opaque world
gingersnaps28 chapter 22 . 10/27/2014
This story is really awesome. Being new to FF, I'm glad to know that there are actual creative branch-off stories from the original series, and I'm happy that this was one of the first few I have read. Also, being a partial grammar-nazi, my only critique is that you should try to go back and fix your mechanical errors. I know that fixing those will make the story more enjoyable for future readers. You're awesome. ;) Keep Calm and Write On.
Joshypoo chapter 19 . 10/25/2014
If he was drunk but still able to think by himself then he's obviously not drunk enough to do something STUPIDER THAN THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON THE PLANET! And the way he described the scene, he just made himself look worse when he could have told the whole fucking story and how he felt but he didn't! No matter who you are you would be trying to make yourself look better and that's what draco is best at! But no you make your fucking characters go OOC and get down syndrome. Fuck you
lexicon63738 chapter 22 . 10/14/2014
It was AMAZING! oh please, oh please, oh plleeeaaasseeees keep it going?
Guest chapter 4 . 10/6/2014
Horrible spelling and grammar - very difficult to read
Filmstar xXx chapter 22 . 9/27/2014
amazballs
GanjiaQueen91 chapter 22 . 9/7/2014
Yes, a squeal is need because you need, I need, we all need. For Mione and Draco to get married and have a baby of their own together sooo…. Hop to it Pip Pip lol
Natalie1027 chapter 22 . 9/5/2014
This was a good story, and I really did enjoy it, although there are a few things that could be fixed to take this story from good to fantastic.
1. The summary, the summary really didn't grab me in anyway, it is way to vague and then rambles about things not relevant to people who haven't read the story. Give a little bit more detail about things that people will learn in the first chapter of the story.
2. The grammar/flow of the story. Some of the grammar in this story is a bit off and could do with a thorough editing, the same with the flow there are many places where things are just phrased in a way the disrupts the continuity when reading the story.
3. Clarity. This one is harder to describe. It is hard to tell where you are in the story, Sometimes you will have letters but they won't be italicized or bolded or anything which is confusing. Plus you sometimes skip between times and people without any kind of warning, forcing the reader to go back and figure out what is happening. Adding in the line break lines, or other Symbols, for example oOo between those sorts of things would help a ton.

Sorry this review is so long and try not to take my criticism as something negative, I genuinely like your story and some of these could make the reader's experience much better.
Guest chapter 5 . 8/27/2014
Great story, but may I suggest keeping the same tense and grammar/spell checking? :)
ExTaCy925 chapter 22 . 8/24/2014
I would love to read the sequel. This story was great I loved it. Great work. I can't wait to read the next one.
omfgapenny chapter 22 . 8/24/2014
Hi,

Loved the story, different from alot of draco/hermione stories I have read lately. I think a small sequel or something would be great. Also when I was reading this I had itunes on in the background and Warrior by Demi Lovato came on and fitted well with the story so I would love to recommend the song as one to listen to when reading the story.

Cant wait to read more of your stories

Amy x
Grovek26 chapter 22 . 8/22/2014
A very good chapter.
shaymars chapter 22 . 8/22/2014
Great story but I think a sequel is needed because you left some questions...like did Draco and Hermione get married and have kids...How are the friendships going? Did Hermione tell Narcissa about what happen to her? What happen to Lucius trial...please do a sequel or epilogue to answers these questions...Great job...
LadiePhoenix007 chapter 22 . 8/22/2014
Thoroughly enjoyed this fantastic fic. I adored this Draco and how he was truly supportive of Hermione and how much he loved Elle. Amazing job with Ginny and Ron's turn around. They seem sincere; hope it's true. - Yes, please do a sequel to this story. Would love to read more.
Guest chapter 21 . 8/10/2014
I have to tell you, i look forward to this story so much!
shaymars chapter 21 . 8/10/2014
This was an amazing chapter...love that Draco told Tracy off and called Elle his daughter...Love how Hermione showed her moves...Can't wait to read how Draco approaches the forever topic...kinda hope Hermione gets pregnant with Draco's kid maybe the 24 hour spell was too late or not effective because Hermione is breastfeeding...update soon
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