|Reviews for Phobia|
| Mars chapter 1 . 3/21
Really enjoyed it, but the end was rushed. Like you got tired and wanted to just finish.
| Nat chapter 1 . 7/21/2014
I really love the way you've written this piece, befitting for such a couple :3
| Coofis chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
This was ingenious. Simply ingenious. The emotion of fear is an obsession of mine for various reasons, and you have done a beautiful job in your exploration of it here. The parallels you draw between Vegeta's and Bulma's lives and the fears they experience are very well-written. I applaud you for this fantastic examination of fear and especially how it is reflected in the development of the Saiyan Prince. I will definitely check out more of your work.
| Fandom4Life16 chapter 1 . 4/26/2014
Hi there again! It's Fandom4Life16! The website didn't allow me to review again under my username so I had to log out and review as an anonymous user. :)
I'm sorry I wasn't concrit in my other review. It's kind of difficult to review a fanfiction about a fandom that I'm not very familiar with. I'll try my best to review it better this time, though. Thank you for reviewing my story, it means a lot. :)
Like I said in my other review, you write at a very high level, and it's just extraordinary. I love the way you incorporate the different kind of the fears the male has in this one-shot and how much he really needs his father. I thought it was very interesting that the female in the story was feeling the exact same thing as the male and was dreaming about the male's experiences, but the only difference between them is that he didn't have his father and she did.
I especially liked your introductory quote, since pretty much the entire story was about the male's fears and how the female character felt his fears, too. I also liked how you added other quotes from other authors; they linked very well with the story.
I wouldn't really say anything negative about this story because everything was very well-written with hardly any mistakes. I think you should probably try to make it a little more longer but other than that, no real problems. The way you describe your scenes are excellent; you put a lot detail in them and that's what a lot of stories on this website lack.
As I said before, you are an extraordinary writer and I hope this review is a lot better. :) I apologize again for my last review, but like I said, it was kind of difficult since I don't know much about Dragon Ball Z.
I would really enjoy reading your other works. I see that you also write in the fandoms of Twilight, Danny Phantom, and Avengers and I really enjoy those fandoms. :D If you happen to want me to read any of your other stories that are in these fandoms, I would really be happy to read and review them! Just shoot me a PM and I will! :D
With best regards,
| Fandom4Life16 chapter 1 . 4/26/2014
Hi, there! I would like to say that even though I'm not much of a fan of Dragon Ball Z, this one-shot very much intrigued me. You have a very unique way in which you write; it's very mature, very much at a high level, and you write in a lot of detail, which I love. You are an amazing writer, and I really hope you never give up writing because you truly have an amazing talent! I would definitely like to read more of your stories! If you've created anything new, feel free to shoot me a PM and tell me, so I can come check it out and review! Good luck with all the other stories and fanfictions you create! :D
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/18/2014
Damn. This was really good.
| VideoGameMaster1478 chapter 1 . 4/18/2014
Great one-shot! I loved the short descriptions of each time period! Acarophobia is not the fear of any insects. It's the fear of the insects that cause itching. Other than that, good one-shot!
| Lost to the Hoping chapter 1 . 4/16/2014
I actually really liked this. The fear theme was a good choice to go with for them. Thanks for suggesting it! It's really well written, too.
| applefanfic chapter 1 . 3/25/2014
This is SO sad!*sobs*. But I love how you put the fears and all that..
| elianni chapter 1 . 3/25/2014
Ioved this fic it fit perfect to a b/v story
| Nora57 chapter 1 . 2/24/2014
That was awesome! ;D thanks for the suggestion ;D
| SoulsandSwords chapter 1 . 2/17/2014
I wasn't sure if I would understand this mainly because I am canon-blind with this fandom, but you wrote a story that almost anyone could relate to!
The way you composed it was like reading poetry, with the different stanzas, different time lapses, and different subjects. I feel like this could be a great full length story, and this is just the sneak preview! I don't see any grammar or spelling errors, so nothing wrong here! Excellent work!
| M.N. Arias Adviser of Aincrad chapter 1 . 2/12/2014
This was a great story, I like how you have it dark and each phobia existing in both of them, but in vastly different ways. It is a great idea, and the execution of this is amazing.
| Edhla chapter 1 . 2/3/2014
Hi :) I'm a staffer for RLt. Unfortunately I don't know much about Dragonball-Z, but I'll do my best anyway :)
The whole premise of this fic is a really interesting one, and kept me entertained the whole way through. The Montaigne epigram is well-placed and you cover a wide range of phobias and bring them into your narrative in a very clever way.
For concrit, I felt there were a few moments where your generally-excellent prose wanders into being a little overwritten; for example, the "fantasy is" lines sound a little too superficially profound to me, but that may well be only me. Similarly, waking up screaming struck me as slightly cliche, but the image later of the "cocooning" and her breaking her toys are absolutely awesome. I felt like this gained momentum from that point. The strengths of this fic are in the imagery you use for your storytelling, rather than abstract definitions (though not the definitions of the actual phobias; those are necessary and well done.)
The "violated" part is particularly striking and told in a mature, sensitive way. That's not all that common, so brava on that one. The hinge of "a boy's sad voice in her head" was also really well done.
["Where was father?"] If you're using this as a term of address, it would have the capital letter; also, I was interested that the "he is five" line is italicised, but the parallel "she is four" isn't.
I felt the epilogue again sort of crept toward cliché a little, but it was otherwise a strong and very dark conclusion. Enjoyed this x
| God of Laundry Baskets chapter 1 . 1/29/2014
Ohh. I really like this. Particularly the weird telepathy thing Vegeta and Bulma have going on. Only wish that there was more. I wonder what it was like during the long years while he's rampaging about the universe.. I really like the explanation of Vegeta's fear of worms.
Thanks for sharing this story! :)