|Reviews for Legend of Harry Potter: The First Grey Mage|
| jimhh chapter 18 . 9/30/2016
I am not sure where this story is going, Harry doesn't use his head he seems to relie on luck, he's careless and doesn't seem to learn from past mistakes and for all the reading he supposedly does he seems to be uninformed about people and places, chapters are short and wander all over the place, where are you going with this story?
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/6/2015
Hello,I'm a Chinese HP you mind if I translate this essay into Chinese in order to let more people read it?
| rhizz17 chapter 28 . 10/29/2015
| ninja888 chapter 1 . 10/6/2015
Not an interesting story as Harry was not the BWL. Also, in the absence of announced pairing, this story might be slash. And I am allergic to slash.
| Mermaid's Magic chapter 4 . 9/23/2015
Well the end was not creepy at alll!
anyway very good and love it so far :)
| Stasia Ravenclaw chapter 28 . 9/21/2015
wht will be the pairing i could see i being Harry/Viktor
| Stasia Ravenclaw chapter 9 . 9/21/2015
actually she did but never revealed it till recently her name is Myrtle Elizabeth Warren
| scubatrex chapter 28 . 7/14/2015
Please post on here when you release the new story.
| daithi4377 chapter 28 . 7/14/2015
I look forward to reading the rewrite !
| sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 1 . 3/18/2015
Not as interesting as a WBWL story. The only way you can spice up this story at the end is if the prophesy was wrong and Harry ends up defeating Voldemort. Otherwise, if Andrew defeats Voldemort at the end, then Harry is not the hero of your story. That is not acceptable.
| BlackJackBJ chapter 27 . 10/25/2014
Please update soon...
| tchizek chapter 27 . 6/13/2014
| Guest chapter 27 . 6/9/2014
| Foreman88 chapter 17 . 6/9/2014
As a general rule, if an author has to explain something to a reader in a reply to a review, said author either did not cover it well enough in the story or has missed making some key explanations in creating his/her world.
Please take a moment next time to think out your character's actions. Most people in Harry's position, and even that of his parents, would be questioning why he has parseltongue at all. Even if you do not want them to figure out this soon, present a believable reason as to why they did not find out, or at the very least show them attempting to research it, so your readers will know that you did not reveal this on purpose and will avoid asking due to not wanting a spoiler.
| Foreman88 chapter 8 . 6/9/2014
So far you have a decent outline of a plot, but not much else. There is no meat to your story; just the bones. A distinct lack of details is a pretty big problem for any story. You just covered the first half of first year in around 1k words. Add some more details and events that have little to do with the plot, or even just put in some passages of him learning or practicing things.
Also there seems to be no order to your ideas. You gave Harry a book on Occlumancy and the book from the pheonix, but you did not have him do anything with them. Then he got to Hogwarts and no mention was made of either of them.
I also suggest trying to get a beta reader. Your chapters a fairly small and would not be very time consuming for someone to look over, so I think there are a lot of people who would not mind.
I'll continue reading 'till next time.