|Reviews for The Dangers of Foresight|
| wswordsmen chapter 13 . 10/19
Major flaw in chapter 12, Anakin saw Yaddle die. My memory of the book is that it was his fault, but even if it wasn't he still should have had some emotional reaction to it, or at least a mention of it.
This and the prequel are really good, it is too bad (for me) that you update slowly.
| Golanth2008 chapter 26 . 10/14
I just read both this story and it's prequel. Very very good story, a bit slow in a few places but that seems intentional. The only outright mistake I've caught is Palpatine's fist name is not Cos, but Sheev. A few homonyms but I was too caught up in the story to stop and note them down. That said I hope the next chapter comes soon after this cliffhanger.
| HaywireEagle chapter 3 . 10/14
Need to work on some terminology corrections.
Memory banks not hard-drives.
| Aerilin chapter 26 . 10/13
Hey, uh, you. (I guess I should call you Anne?)
I can't begin to express to you how unbelievably great a story you have here already. For the life of me, I've never been able to figure out how you fanfiction writers manage to post this kind of quality without having the whole story done beforehand.
Either way, you asked for ideas and criticism, and I am nothing if not... well, I'm not consistent enough to make any strong claim here, but no matter! Onward!
My main criticism for your story is less about anything that's actually been written (which is a testament to your abilities as a writer) and more about what I think is your intent with this story. If I recall correctly, in one of your previous notes you mentioned how you weren't sure if you were going to have Anakin survive, but you also expressed how you wanted him to succeed. Which brings me to my "criticism", insofar as a story of this caliber can have any:
Don't make Anakin into a martyr character if you don't absolutely feel that tug that the story NEEDS it. The trend in modern media to just kill off the hero as a shorthand for emotional weight is really frustrating to me. (And besides, Ani's got twenty thousand midichlorians in his body; even Palpy can't beat that.)
I'm not saying that you should make it easy, or without its costs (though if what you have here is anything to go by, you've got a mastery of writing rising tension that I could only dream of) but you should really consider giving the poor Chosen One a true chance at happiness.
I firmly believe that we go to literature as a way of living other lives, as a sort of escape even. I don't see why we should bring the brutality of the real world into that if we don't have to. Sometimes it's good, yes, but I can't help but feel that it doesn't have to be, you know?
Either way, I know you'll do a fantastic job with the rest of this (and the apparent sequel) story, so I'll be eagerly awaiting anything and everything you can give us!
| Diversities chapter 26 . 10/9
I like reading time travel AUs. Your rendition of Anakin is by far the best I have read. He is a redemed Vader and I love the way you write him. Take you time finishing the story as much as I would love to have a chapter it needs to be done well. If it was me writing this is when I would decide whether to play the long or short game. You could end the story really quickly right now. Anakin is telling someone who has the ability to end Palpatine and his plan. My advice is don't do that. This story is about Anakin and it should be him who does the final blow to Palpatine. Anakin also needs to finish being restored to what he was. He has still not grown past all of his Vaderness. I am far from an authority on writing. I am barely a writer so take or leave my advice.
| Reagan chapter 26 . 10/8
I just read through this in one long go and wow, I think I love this. Anakin stuck in his tiny body forced to learn patience and self control that not even as Vader he exercised. The therapy, the whole bit. I'm actually impressed he lasted as long as he did before he completely lost it. Figuring out it was Leia was a really nice touch.
I have no idea what else you're writing or how much time you have but man am I looking forward to the next chapter here. Can't wait to see how Yoda and Xio think of his past. I foresee much more therapy in store for him.
| KeithSena chapter 26 . 10/8
Really very good. When I started reading this fanfic thought she had been abandoned, but the story is so good that I could not stop reading. I just realized that it has been updated this year, please continue the story. It is the best fanfic I've ever read. and if my English is very bad, I'm sorry but this is not my language.
| Doctor Dandy chapter 5 . 10/5
| Doctor Dandy chapter 3 . 10/5
Out of character? Yes,Anaking is incredibly out of character. In fact, he's going backwards. Why is he trying so hard to be a Jedi? He is incapable of being a good Jedi and not well suited to being a Sith Lord. He's somewhere in the middle and watching him flounder about in weakness is absolutely infuriating.
| Phoenix373 chapter 26 . 10/3
I don't know how often you update, nor do I care. I'm just happy you've done this much. Unfortunately, I don't have any ideas to help.
| Snow-Soar chapter 26 . 10/3
I absolutely love the au you created! Time travel is always a fun topic to read, though some fics tend to make repairing the past easy and I think you have avoided that issue nicely. All the characters are well written and interesting .I really really want anakin to succeed. The guy just needs a break Q_Q
For some reason the scene in this chapter with siri and anakin reminded me of a soap opra for a bit XD
Anyway thanks for a good read!
| Supernaturally Enchanted Kale chapter 26 . 10/2
I read this all in two days and I love it so much. I'm so looking forward for the next update! I don't really have any critisism or thoughts except how much I love this fic. Thank you so much for writing this and I hope you continue!
| Pragmatictok885 chapter 16 . 10/2
I love your positive view of good therapy. It's great to show how it can make a difference.
| Pantsdeamor chapter 9 . 10/2
Full disclosure: I haven't finished reading the entire story yet.
To start with some praise, your world building is phenomenal. The way you weave bits and pieces of the world into the characters' thoughts and actions allows the world to be built while also maintaining reader interest, and relevance to the plot. In addition, the characterization and deeper look into the psyche of characters is well done.
For some flaws I've seen: you reiterate things too often. It seems almost every chapter has a revisitation of things previously mentioned, such as Anakin's anger and guilt. While this is necessary, it is over done and makes the reader feel fatigued. Another fault is that you sometimes leave out the motivation behind characters' thoughts. Sort of a tunnel vision, if you will.
For example, Anakin is constantly battling with his love and subsequent disdain for Obi-Wan. His main motivator, which you have addressed, is that he feels Obi-Wan betrayed him on Mustafar. However, you have already portrayed Anakin's realization that Obi-Wan didn't betray him. So why is it still a point of contention? You clearly show Anakin's understanding of Obi-Wan's psychology and reasoning, and his acceptance of it, but still allow it to be a conflict. In addition, Anakin intends to change the future. His reluctance to work with Obi-Wan stems from not wanting to hurt himself when Mustafar happens again. The fault here is that it won't happen again since Anakin intends to change the future, so he has no reason to avoid Obi-Wan.
Another similar oversight is that you constantly refer to Palpatine's need for a new apprentice, but don't give any reasoning beyond the rule of two. Why does he need a new apprentice? Consider adding in this reasoning when it's first addressed.
And my final complaint, which is mostly personal (so take it with a grain of salt), is that you're moving the story along too slowly. I say this objectively. The story reads perfectly, and the pacing is excellent in and of itself, however, in order to properly progress far enough into the story to show the consequences of Anakin's actions, the story needs to progress faster, and in less words. I'm nearly half way through the story (further if you include part 1) and you haven't even begun the second movie era. I worry about your ability to properly finish the story in a reasonable manner at the current pacing. That said, I don't know your plans for the future of the story, and perhaps you've already thought of a way to round it off without going further into the storyline. Like I said, take this last criticism with a grain of salt.
All in all, I am absolutely enthralled with your story so far. Your style of writing draws me in, and I haven't been able to put it down.
| Guest chapter 26 . 10/1
Wow i just finished your story just today. This is absolutely fantastic work. I love what you give the characters more layered out emotions and awesome plot twists. Anakin wanting to return to the light even tho the dark calls is really great character build up to read the struggle he goes through as he continues his journey. So keep up the great work