|Reviews for I Must Be Lonely|
| Saturnblue chapter 5 . 4/15/2009
I like your idea of the story but you really need to rewrite the story as a whole. The words in the story do not fully complied to what you are trying to express. In another words, it seem you have a hard time trying to express your idea through the story using words. You probably did try hard to make the story work for you but with the grammar, the cut offs from the sentences, the emotion in the story seem really jumbled make everything seem very messy. It's like everything is gibberish nothing is clearly expressed that makes the story seem to be a turn off. You Really need a beta for the story before posting or have someone to help you express your ideas through words better. That takes time and practice. Try read and study the really good writer's stories, it will show the difference the depth they had in their stories.
I was looking forward to the story from your summary but after a few chapters I decided if you can improve from this piece of story to a better one I might come back and read it one day.
Do not think it's okay to write any kinds of story regardless yo post online or not or for your own enjoyment or not that it's okay for you to not improve or to continue write like this. Because to tell you now anyone who comes across a fan fiction like this will immediately go off to a better written story than stick with it regardless if the author is talented or not.
Mainly people write story because of their inspiration, practice, or their own enjoyment of expressing themselves through writing that promote them to improve their writing. All reader or writer occasionally like to read a well written story or a story that express well. No one likes to read a half effort story whether it was meant to be that way or not. What you have here is more like a draft than a complete submitted paper to show to the fan fiction community. Don't be offended. This is criticism. I'm not being mean to you or anything just stating that You need to improve regardless writing is your major or not. You will be able to see the fruition of your hard labor.
I can understand your struggle since I have problem with it too and you are not the only one out there that have problem having trouble expressing the ideas or yourself in general through words. The point is, I'm trying to refine my own writing in order to improve my writing. Writing is not my major.
Instead of writing everything you feel through writing you can write a list of the ideas you have for the story and break it down until you get the whole picture before slowly writing it and putting them all together through words. Don't forget to put emotion in the words that could make the story powerful as long as there is some depth in it. The major factor is write/express clearly enough that OTHER PEOPLE can understand what you are trying to write or express from the story itself without too much confusion. Well Good luck.
| Megan Consoer chapter 14 . 4/10/2007
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
| Hime-Kagome Higurashi chapter 14 . 3/17/2006
When will Sesshomaru wait until he sees Kagome again?Will Kagome be a demon?Update soon 'cause I like._
| sessluver chapter 4 . 11/13/2005
omg like update son! we!
| celestialprincessofblood chapter 14 . 7/4/2005
this was great but so sad in the sequel can u make kag come back to life not have a reincarnation come? thanx!
| PhantasyDesiress chapter 14 . 5/23/2005
U KILLED KAGOME! HOW COULD YOU! YOU ARTE PURE EVIL! I DONT WANT PEOPLE WHO DESEVE TI LIVE DIE! LIKE I SAID U ARE OURE EVIL! YOU BETTER MAKE SEQUAL! WAH! I HATE YOU! CAUSE U KILLED KAGOME!
| gymgurl520 chapter 14 . 4/30/2005
OMG! I LOVED IT SO MUCH!YOU NEED TO CONTINUE WITH THIS STORY! IT WAS VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD! PLEASE UP DATE VERY SOON!
| Brooke chapter 14 . 4/4/2005
wow...that was such a sad ending, but a very good story _ good job
| yunibelldream chapter 14 . 3/24/2005
aw that was so cute. That was the best story that i ever read. It was a sad ending but still cool. You should make a sequal that makes Kagome come back to life and make her fall back in love with Sesshomaru all over again.
| Darkness101 chapter 14 . 2/26/2005
Whats the sequels name so i can read it?
| Seto's luver chapter 14 . 1/1/2005
| Seto's luver chapter 3 . 1/1/2005
Next time you write please make it readable, thank you. And have a next year *cough-cough* not
| koiichi no namae kaitou chapter 14 . 12/15/2004
you knoe this story is actually not bad
but how you told the storry was kind of dull
do u get me?
i think u shoul improve on putting more words and description.
but it was good.
keep writing stories.
| Darkness chapter 14 . 10/10/2004
Hey r u going to continue it? cause if u r then im there to read right when im on the internet! This is a very good story prolly one of the best that ive read so far and ive read alot. I encourage u to continue.
| Alex chapter 14 . 9/25/2004
I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW! *SNIFF* I'M OK I'M OK! NO I'M NOT, WAHH! *SNIFF* I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE SEQUEL! *SNIFF*