Reviews for Hey John, It's Me (Pepsicola John x Dave)
Alyssa chapter 1 . 12/20/2016
Oh shit that's hot! /
Ariytheotaku chapter 1 . 11/6/2016
Fuck yes
ur.mom.jpg chapter 1 . 10/13/2016
this was so cute even with a few minor typos I found it adorbs!
Kiku chapter 1 . 6/13/2016
that was awesome! even though i am a guy but meh i still love it
dashnbounce chapter 1 . 4/18/2016
its unbutton not unbotton
Idek chapter 1 . 3/22/2016
Meanwhile, Dadbert actually has the day off at work and faked leaving by parking his car somewhere, which lead him to seeing John and Dave fucking
lizzy chapter 1 . 2/6/2016
OTP
Baller chapter 1 . 12/17/2015
Love it you have made my day happy
RELATONSHIPFEELS chapter 1 . 10/16/2015
OH THE FEELS~ YOU HAVE HAPPIENESSED THEM~
Lorelei chapter 1 . 9/10/2015
i love this sooooooo much
Lewlgetrekt69 chapter 1 . 8/5/2015
Awwwww
L chapter 1 . 7/11/2015
That was adorable! So cute and pretty well written from my perspective.
Ruby Donger chapter 1 . 7/3/2015
"THEY HAD A FEELING, THIS WAS THE START, OF A BEAUTIFUL, RELATIONSHIP"
Resilverin chapter 1 . 4/2/2015
-pauses reading in the middle-
dude i just... gah, i cant xD
this made me feel so awkward im laughing and crying at the same time
okay
first thing that shoot right at me is that you used the word "fuck" too many times in speaches
-continues reading-
this was sweet and short, your writing style stands out a lot as you used simple vocabulary and grammar, nothing special in the way you write
this is basically a short smut for the ones who love short smuts and the no homo stuff but eventually john giving in
kinda hoped for anal here but its good enough, i mean this is really how it should be done, prepare few times, get to know each other, before going all the way, which was nice to read here
improvement ideas: read a lot of fics that are over 50k words long, usually those fics are top quality with good character development (although you didnt need that here), plot (once again not needed here), description (i feel like this fic could use a bit more flavouring in terms of imagery) and character interaction (could be a bit more and better interaction)
examples of what you could have done here: when dave fell asleep you chould have had a paragraph of johns thoughts about him or how exactly was dave sleeping, i imagined him with his face on the keyboard here for some reason (dont think you did mention where he was in the room?) so you could have had john making a point on how the keys have imprinted on daves face to get away from the awkward subject of im not a homosexual
overall: the story was alright, good for a quick smut
Guest chapter 1 . 3/14/2015
Why... Why *Dies*
34 | Page 1 .. Last Next »