|Reviews for Harry Potter and the World of Deceit|
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/24
Ah, I noticed you used a Homer technique of giving situational names (IE: The Great Captain said...), but I have forgotten what that is called. Then you made a greek mythology reference, though it could be coincidence. Is it?
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/24
Ron is a good sport in this fic, a refreshing change from all the ron-bashing. I like it so far!
| Marvin chapter 11 . 7/12
a dragon "40 meters high at the shoulder and nearly 60 long"?
That thing would weigh more than 20 million kilograms, or to put it simply, it would weigh as much as a herd of forty THOUSAND horses.
A bit of over exaggeration, don't you think?
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/15
So I'm actually on like chapter 12, and I have to say that I can't finish this amazing story. It great really, despite the smut (thank you for the warnings and giving us the opportunity to skip it without missing major plot points), I freaking adore it...but I can't finish it because Fleur is my favorite and I can't read her in pain like that. Particularly pain that won't get better. I could finish if she at least had the opportunity to get better, unbound from Harry to find love elsewhere . But now every time I read her blasted name in this story I know she's suffering from permanent unrequited love. And it freaking hurts! It's easy even worse because Fleur is one of top my three favorite female characters in this Fandom so I've already got a soft spot. And you just keep stabbing it. It's a damn shame too because this story is awesome, and good H/Hr are getting harder to find.
In the end it's a complement, I suppose. I mean you wrote it so well, that I find myself feeling phantom heartache. And I've never even been in love. Or even had a crush for that matter. So thank you and we'll done, but goodbye. Keep it up, I'm sure your other readers are just waiting for you to post more for WoL.
| Shadowsoken chapter 6 . 5/6
I was reading chapter 6, listening to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, and realized it fit perfectly.
| DocSlendy chapter 1 . 5/4
Oh, this merits a read. I'm getting excited so let's have a look!
| ewa chapter 2 . 5/3
This looks promising so this beginning!
| DanteDevilstar chapter 16 . 5/2
I was curious about something in chapter 16 actually...When Krum realizes what is going on in the duel with harry. How Harry is actively drawing energy in from the wards to fuel his beam that is. Why didn't he do the same for his shield?
Does offensive sorcery work different than the defensive sorcels? One would assume someone of his age and talent could have done something similar for his shield and forced the match to a draw, or the teachers to step in before the wards gave out.
Now as to your author's note about it being a Harmony ship, I think a lot of people understand that but are curious why that ship didn't rock ever so slightly now and then as all ships do. Moments of confusion, weakness, impulse. They exist everywhere. I think that is what people try to point out. It does not need to be a Hry/Hrm/FD story for there to be moments of passion or weakness. I myself half expected Fleur to take advantage of mistletoe at Christmas! lol
However, that being said, it is your story and people should respect it. Plus it is pretty good
| DanteDevilstar chapter 15 . 5/2
Ahhhhh the hungry tribbles have returned in force.
I just finally had a chance to sit down and start reading again, I dove back into the fic and am working on getting caught up once more. Just finished chapter 15. I am surprised that neither Harry nor Hermione tried contacting Sirius about options for the second task.
Now one of my favorite parts in this chapter was something I wish you had played on a bit more.
When they took Hermione to put her in the lake and Harry had the feeling of emptiness, longing, pain, as though part of him was missing? Would have been great for him to just stop and realize/wonder if that is what Fleur was feeling every day. Maybe turn to her to talk to about it, or just not be alone that night.
But overall I am definitely glad to have found this again, and will be diving into the sequel as soon as I finish the last few chapters of this one.
PS: Looking forward to reading a Harry/Fleur story from you.
| StupidityNowOffersWisdom chapter 16 . 4/19
It's 'Viktor', not 'Victor'. Unless of course, Krum is the overall champion of the Triwizard Tournament, wherein he would be crowned the victor.
Also, the Maze task is the Third Task, not the Second Task. You killed Cedric off in the second, remember?
I've also noticed that your language errors are reduced in chapters with little to no dialogue, and that your paragraphing has also improved (without dialogue).
You need to focus on Valmortis more. Don't just introduce him to mention him in a one-liner every ten chapters or so.
| StupidityNowOffersWisdom chapter 15 . 4/19
Back-beta? I'm afraid the previous chapters are as of low quality as they used to be. Your previous beta made things worse, by the way.
This chapter, however, has seen much improvement from the last. Kudos to you and Texan-muggle.
You do have a good story, though, nevermind your lacking mastery of English.
| whatweareafreaidof chapter 5 . 4/15
a lot of harry and hermoein shiper like to bash but ron did not like hermonie with krum but after the yale ball all he did was make a smart ass comment once in a while. ron was happy for harry and CHO so i do belive ron could have delt with harry and hermoien.
and rather ron be kill then bash. and ron was harry closest friend so this would change him a lot.
| capo327 chapter 6 . 4/11
Harry's a dick for chastising her after the fact. He could have said no.
| elgringo12 chapter 19 . 4/5
Brilliant work LGreymark, truly great. I can't wait to read what happens next year and thankfully I don't have to wait because it's already been written! :-) keep it up
| Bad Wolf chapter 19 . 3/24
90%. I was able to overlook the death of a decent and accepting Ron. I was able to overlook the mentions of religion... It was was an amazing story... Until the end. Magic force or not, gritty real world comentary or not, I just couldn't stomach Flure being made to rape harry. Maybe it's just because I know too many people that have been thru that or similar, but that totally killed the story for me. But if it's possible to ignore that for a moment, it was an otherwise great story.