Reviews for Harry Potter and the World of Deceit
Ada1229 chapter 10 . 4/11
K I was with it untill the end of this chapter. But the religion is kinda bumming me out. I wouldn't be so against it in Harry Potter fanfictions if I hadn't already read one fan fiction that was so heavily reliant on God to solve all the issues the characters go through that by its end it wasn't even recognizable as Harry Potter anymore. And the only excuse that the Author gave was that it was her approved version of Harry Potter for her child to read...needless to say I was completely horrified by the end of it.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyways I'll keep reading in hope that you stayed light on the religious stuff
Ada1229 chapter 4 . 4/10
Actually I'll be honest, it's not all that odd for Harry to be Hermione's boyfriend and adopted brother. If he marries Hermione one day he'll be calling Mr and Mrs Granger "Mum" and "Dad" anyways, He's just getting practice early.

Of course this view comes from my belief that it's not incest if you arn't blood related and the fact that they were already dating before Mrs Granger made him the offer
Guest chapter 3 . 12/11/2016
I think she was going for the ugly duck girl for the part of Hermione mean look at her in the first movie she had this bookworm plain cuteness that that all UD's have than by 4th year she was BEAutiful
Deathcrow chapter 11 . 11/5/2016
Man the religious proselytizing is seriously a bummer and sorta ruining the story for me. Oh and of course their sinful sexual experimentation isn't actually as sinful because they are magically married. That's so lame. If you're looking for more loopholes: Many religious teenagers swear on anal sex.
G the Headmaster chapter 19 . 11/4/2016
Excellent work!

Now to read the next book in the story.
teachergirl chapter 11 . 7/27/2016
I'm still confused. Does Neville's gran not know of his complicity in the attack on Harry. She wants to throw the book at Ginny but what about Neville's involvement. Will she believe he deserve to be punished as well? Will she found out he's involved?
teachergirl chapter 8 . 7/27/2016
I'm confused. I thought you said that Harry didn't go to school, so how did he get punished for getting better grades than Dudley?
I'm glad you had Harry keep his own name. It would be too weird as he he is Hermione's boyfriend not her brother.
teachergirl chapter 3 . 7/27/2016
I'm confused as to why Hermione has the details to the Potter will and never mentioned it to Harry before. She had to know he didn't know, so why keep it from him? She has to know that he knows nothing about his parents because he never talks about them. She talks about her parents. Ron talks about his family. Harry never does. Even Neville talks about his Gran. Harry never says a word. Surely, Hermione would have picked up on that.
Corwyn chapter 19 . 7/21/2016
Thanks for sharing this story with us. I appreciated it.
keitaropurple69 chapter 19 . 7/6/2016
I love this story and it is very original, i accidentally read the second part before the first one though.
Docholiday024 chapter 4 . 7/5/2016
Sorry ya just killed ur H/HE story! Though it isn't stated it is considered common sense in the U.K. that adopted siblings fall under the heading of brother and sister. Thus it is considered incest for them to be together. I have a friend who lives in London who is a lawyer, think they have another name for them. When I was checking on this for a show I watched, he said over the last few years several such cases were tried and in all but one the couple was found guilty of incest even though they were adopted! In the one they found out no sexual relationship had occured. Now of course you can do the old cop out that it is ur story and ya can do as ya please! But that is just admitting ya was wrong but don't want ta say it outloud, nor do ya want ta fix ur mistake.
Guest chapter 2 . 6/21/2016
tbh your writing style is kinda inbetween a 80 year old woman stuck in the Victorian age, a horny 12 year old, and Stephen King.
Plus I feel like Harry is coming off as creepy... being aroused by a picture of Hermione and telling her its "absolutely beautiful" seems really creepy to me. Maybe its because I'm a prude and detest people hitting on me, but idk. They're both only 13 and this is the 1990's and it seems kinda early for them to start a flirty relationship.
Also the excessive use of young man and young woman is really weird, especially when used by 13 year olds...it feels like something a disappointed grandma would say, not a teenager in reference to their friends.
Colton chapter 2 . 6/18/2016
Already addicted to this story. Your writing style has me hooked. Excellent chapter!
CmeClearLee chapter 4 . 6/18/2016
good story but if u could replace the words 'young lady and young man with other endearments or descriptive adjectives then it would improve the flow.
Guest chapter 11 . 6/12/2016
My only complaint with this chapter is where you have them discussing God. You have Hermione referring to God as 'he' and 'him'. When talking about God, it's always, always, 'He' and 'Him' - capitalized, not lower case.

Fantastic story so far. I loved your characterization of Ron, I was so excited to see a self-aware Ron who was happy for Harry & Hermione. You had me near tears during the memorial.
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