|Reviews for Molly & The Animal Parade|
| Guest chapter 19 . 7/25
ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS.
PWEASE UPDATE ;-;
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 19 . 7/9
NOW I'm caught up! Man, they've come so far already, and they're only on their way to their second paid gig. (I also suspect Molly may try to rush in a new song on the way there. What an ominous feeling.)
This chapter was... extremely cozy. Something about winter nights and inns makes me nostalgic, not to mention the friendly blackjack game. Plus, I always enjoy seeing characters from different HM towns interact, and since I don't think Felicity and Soseki are common fanfic choices, getting a feel for them was nice. (Also... hints of Soseki and Felicity? THERE'S a pairing... of course, it's odd to imagine Soseki with almost anyone from ANB, with his personality.) Soseki was a smarmy douche but still kind of likable, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who imagines Rio being country as fuck (it's the hat, isn't it?). She was pretty fantastic.
Also, the way you write Chase and Molly's interactions continues to be cute as hell without going overboard into syrupy. And that artichoke recipes sounds kinda good, even if I've never had an artichoke in my life (they're prickly little bastards).
Seconding the curiosity about what went down with Kathy and Owen's phone call... or if she actually did call at all, because something about the writing made me a bit suspicious there. Welp. Time will only tell.
Only small error that caught me was "What was happening" with a period instead of a question mark, but I kinda like it. People flatly asking questions tickles me, for some reason. Maybe growing growing up watching Daria?
As a last note, nice to see the Mayor of Townsvi- err, Mayor Thomas! Mineral Town's one of my favorite settings in the HM series, so I can't wait to see how they do there, and who they interact with. Wonder how long the incredible generosity and good fortune will go on before the cracks start showing? (I'm horrible.) And that "deal with the devil" thing made me think of Futurama, for some reason - at least Thomas didn't ask Molly to swap her voice for his, or any of the instrument-players' hands for his own.
Well, I'll be eagerly keeping an eye out for more!
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 18 . 7/8
Tucker, you fucker! (I had to.)
So, seeing how the girls keep handling the new venues (and inevitably-growing setlists) and the growing fame will be fun! Especially given how energizing it was even just reading about their performance. Also, for some reason, the contrast between Backstage Boyfriend and Just You, in lyrics and implied tone, amuses me.
Only small issue I saw was actually a really hilarious one - where you meant to type "a few stragglers excited to see a live performance," you typed "stranglers" instead. Which makes me admittedly picture a few serial killers having a good time during the show and casually murdering a few of the audience members (hopefully they got Allen first).
Nice Toni and Rebecca cameo there, too - genuine praise from BOTH of them is something, let alone one of them. And I adore Rod, so seeing him pop up here and be cute and friendly was great, between his manic handshake and him playing with Tucker. Neil was also kind of endearing despite being Neil, with his bashfulness about Rio.
Speaking of that damn dog, the 101 Dalmatians bit with the leash was hilarious. He must really love trolling Molly. And the scene with Chase was really touching - at least they both stopped pussyfooting around the issue and just let it out. Which resolved things! Surprise!
Well, one more chapter to go for now... whoosh.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 17 . 7/7
I'm glad to see Molly deciding, what the hell - Owen deserves a chance. But despite The Talk, methinks this isn't quite the end of her neuroses, either. (Actually, I can see Molly basically opening up to Chase with everything Kathy told her to discuss, only for him to figure out that Kathy knows because of course she'd persuade Molly to confront the issue. As you can see, I like it when the writing gives me good theory fodder to work with.)
While there was a small mishap with "shone through" as "shown through" (regarding Candace being the big sister), that little journey felt pretty cozy and a bit magical with the impromptu performance. I could easily see everything happening and got a good vibe on the emotions buzzing around the small group.
It was also cute seeing blunt little "I don't get cold because I'm fat" Niko get a bit antsy around Chase, and the Renee and Kathy and Horse interaction. Also, I'm damned curious as to where things move on from here, now that things are SUPPOSEDLY clearing up... some. Though, I do wonder what Kathy found so amusing about Chase's pant size. And I always found boxers the least embarrassing type of underwear a guy could own, so from a male perspective, their amusement/mortification over it was kind of funny, to me. (Well, okay, there is the "these have nestled Chase's meat tenderizer" factor, admittedly.)
Quite pumped for the performance, and I'm curious if I saw a hint about Neil and Rio being a thing, or just mentioned together as big animal lovers. Though I may put the final two chapters on hold till tomorrow, but happy reading will once more be had soon.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 16 . 7/7
Ahh... I feel for Molly here. Definitely low self-esteem, and I can't help but get a seriously co-dependent vibe from her on top of that. I like how it's basically gradually hinted out and coming out increasingly that even though she's silly (and makes for some hilarious scenes), she's certainly got some deep-seated issues that may or may not have influenced her goofiness. Especially given, at least, a brief look into Chase's perspective (he just doesn't know what the fuck).
And seeing Renee (and Hanna) was a nice treat! Especially the Anissa/Renee parallel to Kathy/Molly, and the idea that there's an even closer pair than Kathy and Molly (although Renee and Anissa seem composed and mature enough to get through it fairly smoothly; whereas, Kathy and Molly, with tempers like Luna's and Chase's around, may have a far bumpier road ahead).
I'd change "He could hear Molly's voice inside" to "Luke could hear Molly's voice inside," also, subsequently changing "Luke chuckled" to "He chuckled" in the next line - if only because it's not immediately obvious to meant Luke, and at first glance, it reads like you accidentally calling Luna "he". (Besides, Candace works better as an accidental sex-change. Look: Mandace.)
At first, I thought Luke just seriously had boundary issues (well... not that he DOESN'T), but the small slip that Luna was more than annoyed was subtle and nice compared to her usual tsundere antics (but with how he's been carrying on... yeah, I could see it being a nice mislead to think she seriously wanted him to back off).
Ah, back to the girls squabbling playfully over Candace! Plus the background goings-on in the scenes (fawning over the earrings, Candace, Kathy, and Chase chatting, Cain still working in the barn) - I've probably pointed it out before, but the world feels more alive that way. Sometimes people brush past the small details and leave a more static setting where people say the necessary words to move the plot onward, so I'm always glad to see that being averted.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 15 . 7/7
Molly's trepidation about Kathy and Owen seems very ominous. Maybe Owen will get pregnant! Or maybe Molly's just clingy, just a bit.
I liked the little phone fight (only thing I'd change is "keep queit this argument" to "keep this argument quiet", unless you insert Yoda as a temporary narrator, which would be cool beans) and the fact that, even if they're adorable, Chase and Molly aren't always perfectly on the same page even now that they're a thing. Not always fully sure who feels which way about what, and all.
That, and maybe the beginnings of small cracks in the sisterhood of Kathy and Molly. Even the closest of friends can go on the outs sometimes (especially when they're kind of approaching high-pressure situations), and seeing how everyone reacts and adjusts will be interesting. I also kind of took a moment to realize what Kathy meant by "make it bigger". Molly reacting like a best-friend version of a Public Service Announcement was kind of a hoot, even if she meant well. (Also... "batoot". I like it. I love how shamelessly country Kathy is.)
So, it looks like things are set to be shaken up a good deal! As a last note: It's pretty neat how the festivals have been written here - there's kind of a warmth to them. Like small-town festivals actually taking place in actual small-towns actually named after musical concepts and instruments. It's pretty dope.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 14 . 7/7
DAMN GROUPIES. Of course, the one who shamelessly disrobes repeatedly doesn't get the bragging show. (Although, speaking of bragging - I like that Kathy's perceptive enough to connect the dots, but I also can't help but wonder if Molly's lyrics are subliminally signaling to her, with the "backstage" boyfriend thing. Like "Yvan eht nioj" from that one episode of The Simpsons.)
I did notice an instance of Luna "looking them all ever", but other than that, I can't recall anything that popped out as needing a quick fix, aside from being curious if Molly was supposed to be a fox or a raccoon. Sounds like they were aiming for the latter, but changed to the former, unless it was more intentional that it was kept ambiguous until Molly said something to Chase. I may just be bad at picking up on those things, though.
Kathy as a giraffe didn't occur to me until it happened, and now it kinda makes sense. I'm picturing her as that girl from America's Next Top Model who posed as a sexy giraffe once. And Chase and Molly continue to be adorable together, in their own ways.
Not much to comment on for the chapter, since it was costume time, but... I kinda wanna hear the new song as an actual song-song. "Just You", I'm also curious about how it'd sound melodically, but Luna and Kathy's remarks about the composition of "Hint, Hint the Musical" really make it sound energizing. A bunch of chicks in animal costumes playing an 80s rocker. I can't NOT be intrigued.
Chapter 15 awaits! Eagerness occurs.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 13 . 7/6
Last chapter for tonight (thirteen - how ominous. Am I gonna explode?). Good one to end on, though!
The date scene was pretty adorable - seeing them work their way quickly to comfort after the awkward start and all. I kind of went "Well, SHIT" after Molly went on the "that's what girlfriends do" spiel, but it turned quite adorable. But... mushrooms in orange ice cream. Girl's on drugs. Also, the bit of prose about the sky raining fire and Satan crawling out of the Goddess Pond gave me a nice, loud laugh.
Couldn't think off the top of my head if any technical issues really jumped out here.
Kathy playing with Candace's pigtails was pretty adorable, but... a bunch of girls, dressed as animals. The moe girl, dressed as a bunny. Somewhere in Japan (and perhaps on 4chan), Candace suddenly gained a very huge and creepy fanbase.
So, Dunhill's the de facto mayor, which is pretty cool - seeing the worlds cross over... like you said, it's pretty fun! Where they go from here, what other drama unfolds... plus, it's a unique concept in the HM fandom, so I really have no fucking clue what'll happen. I love it.
Other side notes:
Something about the way Kathy's part was written when she came up with the name gave me the impression she was drunk (on coffee). Which is fantastic.
Gill's snide bit of prose about the paperwork was a nice little touch. And him straightening his bolo... I didn't know what one was at first, so I googled it. I got a bunch of images of bundt cake, so until I saw the ties, and even after, I imagined Gill fussing with a giant cake on his head, with his Resting Bitch Face never fading even for a moment.
Well... I'm off to bed, now, and to enjoy more of this over the next few days! Yes, yes.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 12 . 7/6
The line about Molly "totally [raping] Chase's face" cracked me right up. She makes herself sound like she burst out of a pulsating egg like a facehugger.
Small quibble about "Hamilton quickly took Chases' place", just a quick change to "Chase's place." Places. Chase's places. Sorry, I saw the rhyme hanging there and just grabbed it. I'm a despicable human being.
So, the buildup is paying off - it's really adorable, too, everything that's happening. The excitement everyone had at not sucking (glory be!), the cute little moment Chase and Molly shared... Chase's bitchy little quip about the food.
I also enjoyed Hamilton's possibly-oblivious burn to Luna about her height, and the painful fist-bump. High-fives can hurt if done too hard[/painwimp], so I can't imagine a forceful fist-bump. (Bata-lata-la.)
So, I'm pretty damn excited to see how things can keep progressing from here. It's got a good balance between quaint and verging on larger-than-life, maybe just the anticipation of them taking off from their current position.
To quote Molly, "Woohoo!"
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 11 . 7/6
Molly, that isn't what singing is! Jeez.
Still, seeing her become more and more gradually... unraveled is quite interesting. I smell a nervous breakdown! (Why do I sound excited about that? I... uh, I'm NOT. Honest.)
Small bits I caught -a "subtlety" as "subtly" near the end, and I'm not sure if "pop sphere" works in describing a poppy song. Maybe pop sheen, or pop vibe, or pop feeling or something - I just dunno if "sphere" works in that sense.
Too bad Candace was too meek to say something about Molly's issues when she picked up on them right away (perceptive little wallflower, Candace), and Kathy was too slow in identifying them. Still, hopefully that crazy broad works herself out eventually, or she won't be grabbing the Gram-shit-shit anytime soon. (Actually, she shouldn't, it's disgusting.)
Well, onward to chapter 12!
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 10 . 7/2
Damn, Candace can bust out a sick burn. The best part, of course, being that it's CANDACE.
I haven't seen the circus pop up often (although, I don't read as many AP fics as maybe I should), but a hippo doing a barrel roll sounds incredible. And that poor lemur! Then again, I have my suspicions about Theodore... hmm.
I couldn't find anything here that jumped out at me as seeming off. I do, however, enjoy how Molly is... maybe not the greatest farmer ever. She's kinda struggling and has a bit on her plate at the moment, but she's endearing and a bit lucky (in that she ran into Chase BEFORE learning about the new gig). And it feels fairly natural.
I'm a bit curious about how Julius and Candace crashed and burned horribly in this continuity. I mean, I've seen enough good stuff about them that I can buy them as a sweet couple, but I can also all too easily see them being an epic failure - they're an interesting pair that way. Kind of like Luke and Shameless Tsundere.
I wish I had more to say, but it is getting late - I'll leave off for the evening on my amusement at the lines about the "taco fest" (whoa, Kathy!) and Molly's sudden fascination with Chase's chin. Why do I suddenly picture him with one of those clefts that looks like a buttcrack?
Well, good evening, and I shall pick back up soon!
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 9 . 7/2
Hmm, so, I said chapter 8 was my last chapter for the night. I say a lot of things. I'm too intrigued. (I'll seriously stop soon. I need to actually sleep before work for a change.)
I actually kind of forgot the thing with Molly's parents... in a somewhat twisted way, I'm interested in learning more about that. Obviously, it's affected her a good bit (it certainly could explain some of her tendencies), but even more - huh, she took finding out about Chase harder than I realized she would. Poor girl.
Her and Kathy's friendship is always great to read, though (of course, same for Kathy and Chase's, since you write Kathy extremely well).
Only one small thing jumped out at me when Molly was drifting off to sleep - "memories she either repressed or sincerely forgotten," I think a "had" should be in-between "she" and "either", since breaking it up reads as "memories she repressed" or "memories she forgotten"; the former looks fine, but the latter could use some hadding.
The band practice scene was fairly funny, and the way Luna was looking at her drum set like it would "come to life and eat her" gave me a good laugh. You have a real knack for description (another one I missed from the previous chapter was Chase casually noting how grungy Molly's porch light was).
Also, I wonder what Selena will have to say about having a bunch of instruments suddenly sprout up on her workspace?
Okay, I think chapter 10 would make a nice, round number for me to stop at for tonight. I think I'll test that theory. I may also be quite engrossed.
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 8 . 7/2
Ahh, poor oblivious Molly. And poor, cowardly Chase. That theme song scene was adorable, though. Too bad the girl has her head up her butt about his fairly obvious feelings for her (orrrr her self-esteem's so low she doesn't WANT to admit he could be into her - hmm).
I did find a spot in Chase's mini-flashback about his broken arm that read weird - "and how Molly sat with him" feels weird given the construction of the first half of that line (the rubbing his elbow part). I think just a "thinking about how Molly sat with him" would make that line read better; only other small nitpick was "casting a long shadows" when he opens the barn door.
I kinda feel for Molly's "My god, what have I done?" moment, but damn, sister. And I continue to like how Maya comes off in this story - she can be immature, but she still seems more well-rounded without losing her sweetness. Plus, she doesn't have the obsessive need to make everything about food like she did in AP (I should know, I married her), which helps.
And Molly's trepidation about Kathy and Owen is certainly interesting. Wonder where that could lead? I'll probably have to pick back up later at this point, but I certainly look forward to finding out!
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 7 . 7/2
Holy fuck, OUCH, Molly. Sweet-natured, but... yeah, she is kinda dense, bless her.
I have a soft spot for Barbara (I'm not sure why), so it was nice seeing her get a scene - and Candace eyeing the metal section cracked me right up. Actually, the shopping scene was pretty funny, overall. Aqua, huh? Barbie Girl or gtfo.
I did noticed two small hiccups - "cofident" was spelled as "confidant" at the end of the Garmon Mines section, and "subtlety" was spelled as "subtly".
And does Candace have a thing for Bo? Well, now, Mrs. Robinson! Unless he just has a precocious crush on her that Luna's using to her advantage. I also liked the rambling stream of comfort words she rattled off at Molly. One of those things where it almost feels half-obligatory, half-sincere, and maybe a little insulting.
Also, what exactly does Molly have against broccoli? I mean, I'd probably break Chase's arm if he kept swiping my food like that (so I can't feel too bad about Kathy and Hayden co-conspiring), because playing with food is kinda fun, but... eat the broccoli, Molly! Do it! (Or Chase can eat it and stop wasting the damn stuff.)
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 6 . 7/2
It's kinda funny that Kathy's initially so reluctant until Molly starts reeling her in. I'd have thought she'd be on-board in an instant - of course, it didn't take Molly long to reel her in. And lose her. And reel her back in.
Also, small quibble - "We don't had an audience". I'm actually tempted to say it should be "we don't has audience" just because spontaneous lolkat would be fantastic.
I could hear the balloon slowly deflating once Molly brought Mikhail into the picture, though. It's lucky for her Candace was intrigued and that Luna's a creeper who likes to lurk unnoticed. But, it was nice to see Luna's got her priorities straight, AND has a good heart - she comes off as the leader, but if Candace is okay with trying, well, hell, so is she! I thought that was sweet, and a side of Luna that I've seen get overlooked a fair bit by other authors.
(Also nice to see: Candace actually being the one to pick Molly back up and offering to support and help her out, even if she's the only one. Especially AFTER Luna almost completely shot the idea down with finality.)
Also, I think I see the seeds of potential future conflict being sown throughout. Eyyyyyy! Namely, Luna's perfectionism, and Kathy's admittedly wavering support. Well, and Molly's wholehearted and immediate investment, which she did at least acknowledge.
And seeing her go so starry-eyed and "BRILLIANT! We're going to be RICH!" so soon could turn things very interesting later on - especially since Luna has a point about their genre. They'd probably make for a pretty nice local band for the country folks, but Land of Eternal Cable? Then again, Mikhail's a pretty massive star, so quaint, sweet, and down-to-earth could work for them - but classical music is a tested and true draw for folks, whereas if Cable Utopia is anything like our own world, these four may be treading unknown waters.
On to wolf down another chapter or two! Maybe more, but all this is actually making me want to play some good ol' HM again...