|Reviews for The 20th: They All Fall Down|
| sock-feet-and-stirring-sand chapter 9 . 2/19/2015
While I read most of your stories, the only one I was part of was RR&D. Flavia wouldn't have been possible without you. I sent a character in and you fixed her up into something special. Not only was she a top five tribute (perhaps third?), but Flavia was my most memorable character and it was truly a joy to have her written by you. I won't forget the heavy anticipation between chapters or the giddy excitement when I got the notification for a new chapter. I remember coming home after a long day at a softball tournament and the first thing I did was check to see if you'd updated (and yes you had, I almost cried I was so excited). I'll miss your writing, but I'm so glad I had the chance to be in one of your works. See you around, if you're planning on submitting to any stories soon :)
| katsparkle13 chapter 9 . 2/17/2015
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This was a joy to read and, while I'm sad you won't be doing anymore SYOTs, I'm excited to see what you'll do next. Thank you for bringing Nairi to life, even if it was only for a short time. I'm just as happy as I would be if she'd won.
| jakey121 chapter 8 . 1/19/2015
cant believe you actually went through with herod as the chapter title XD
so I’ll just go through each tribute, a little comment about them and what happened I guess. I read this ages ago, and I don’t re-read things… idk maybe I should but I tend not to
Naira: viera getting that first kill! So nairi was quite honestly dull. Calm yeah, nice yeah. But what else? Nothing bye
Kilim: was he the one that wanted to be seen as really mature and stuff but just came across annoying and in your face? If he’s the one, not surprised to see him fall here. At least ita made it quick I guess.
Oiyana: aw romany apologising over and over. Well oiyana im pretty sure is what killed this story. You had like the whole chapter written, not him, and then never came back to it. Bad oiyana. His name alone basically summed up how ridiculous he was probably going to be.
Koray: yeah he was nice, I appreciated that, but sort of like aedan or whatever the d10m was in sitg, just to a lesser, more cliché extent and it made sense for him to be a bb yeah.
Ardith: one of snail’s only useless tributes to actually die early like realism would probably expect. Ardith was good though, my favourite of all the early deaths so far. I like genuinely kind-hearted tributes – they’re done a lot (by snail) but they’re endearing and I like to have something that’s different to all the angst and anger and rawr going on.
Tycho: so tycho I have nothing to say about. Boring blog post. Probably would have been boring in the story. But that death man. poor tycho. If I was gunna get a knife in the eye I would have hoped it would kill me instantly, but nah it didn’t go in far enough and he’s just there… screaming. Aw. Well go griffin, giving him a quicker death.
Odrey: sad I guess, though I never knew anything about him. still, bad way to go, what makes it more effective is who killed him and the fact it was an accident. Rip.
Thierry: NO THAT WAS SO GOOD. Best bit in this. Sintra’s so good and she didn’t even get a pov. Thierry would have annoyed the fuck outta me, so yeah, early death is good for a dick like him.
Arcas: at least he fainted? I mean since he fainted, he probably felt nothing. A little kid like him deserved a quick death, well everyone does, but yeah, probably one of the swiftest deaths here.
Aelie: ill admit even though she never had a pov, I was surprised she died this early. I guess I just assumed she was going to be great and last long, maybe she would have done if she’d have been written, maybe not. But I did like her blog post… she had that going for her.
Kendal: she got a pov right? Cant remember her. But from this she sounded like she had some fight in her, so that’s always appreciated. At least she took out tiernan. That’s something she can be happy about… wherever she is….!
Tiernan: you literal moron. If you hadn’t done the whole dramatic battle cry maybe you wouldn’t have died. But its hilarious. He was hilarious. I hated him. I loved him. I don’t even know how I felt about him. but he brought comic relief to this story by being a twat. Still, he was probably someone I would have liked to have died early on, and it happened, so that’s good.
Braelin: nice girl. Not much else I can say. Sad way to go through, internal bleeding scares me.
Ita: again, never had an opinion. Her and griffin seemed to get on well though, compared to the dynamic of one and four, they had something more genuine, so that was nice to see here.
Geneva: one of my favourites, and one of the girls I predicted in the finale. I still remember her reaping pov? Which is weird because that was so long ago. But yeah, even in this, with a short death scene, I still felt for her. Ill miss her definitely.
Calisto: so many tributes are dying from this plague thing. Its awesomely different. But Calisto was a tribute that to me never stood, but I know what his character was like and I guess later on maybe id have come to appreciate him more. He had something to him which I guess is what drew people to him. eh. He was alright.
Terran: never liked him. doubt that would have changed.
Trista: fuck me that death… her guts like literally falling out of her stomach…. Ugh. Trista again was a favourite, again a predicted finalist, so like Geneva I could remember her and I was sad to see her die here. She made it far though! So good on u.
Maxim: yeah something was really going on with viera. If she was herself, she’d never had said those things to Maxim, she’d have just gotten the job done. But poor maxim yeah, being forcefed poison, or nearly, whatever happened… at least sintra was there to get it done.
Viera: bye bae. You and sintra were perfect.
Sorrel: she never got a pov but I know id have liked her, especially since she made it this far. Her death scene… that was strangely nice? I mean fire is a horrible way to go, but in her state, she saw it as a comfort and a way out. It was peaceful so that’s always a good way to go.
Griffin: he was nice. I like nice careers. Not nice as in over the top, but nice in a way that he was still a career at heart. I can see why he came third.
Sintra: for a tribute to not have a pov, for us to not know about her, she had a lot of characterisation throughout these two summaries and I can really see why she made it this far. She provided a lot. In someways she made the games what they were, and yeah… good on her for getting to second.
Romany: another predicted finalist, so I was 1/3 aint too bad. I think I had her predicted as victor too, so that’s another good thing! I liked her with the careers, and then griffin, and how it all played out. She had fight in her, was willing to do things for herself, but wasn’t that total outer-district badass cliché that would have been irritating to read about. Yeah chaos, good choice on a victor!
I know you’ve made your mind up on not writing for HG anymore, and that’’s really sad to hear. Honestly you’ve been one of my favourite authors, and if there was anyway to convince you to start another one, id say it, but I really don’t think there is. I appreciate your decision anyway, you do whats right for yourself!
| your admirer chapter 8 . 1/11/2015
I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you.
| Tear That Cherry Out chapter 8 . 12/28/2014
i kinda preferred maritza? but romany's so unpointed and sharp, yet pointy and smooth ;*
| Manda Louise chapter 8 . 12/28/2014
Ah, well, okay. Plague. Kind of a sad way to go, Ita, but I've seen worse. And you did fairly well, I think? I hope you can dance, wherever you end up.
I loved this! The summary thing continued to be enjoyable - I actually think I found it more interesting than I would have if it had been a full story, but that's probably more because I have a very short attention span. Thank you for finishing this, friend.
| bobothebear chapter 8 . 12/27/2014
NU STAY PLEASE
ugh why do you have leave I CANT BEAR
Yeah I'm in pain, but this was great. Because it's a SUMMARY, it wasn't detailed (obviously?) , and that's a given, but nothing can take away from the style and flare in your writing. Romany's a great victor :)
UGH IM IN PAIN
| DA Member Hogwarts chapter 7 . 12/11/2014
People are annoying lol.
You've came back and bothered to give us something so that even though you had to leave the story we still get a feel for the characters and get a taste of how it would have been. I am glad we seen how some alliances formed and who scored what and what not. I actually enjoyed this a lot I read it twice. LMFAO King Asshole.
And someone actually said they'd prefer a list? WHY? I don't get that! I'd rather get to read some of the story rather than none.
Anywayyyy please update soon pls thx
Love: Maxim and Trista (I have a soft spot sometimes lol I usually don't like the overall sweet characters but there is more idk realness to them they are just nice together I agree with the 'cute ones' nickname. I also think I'd have really liked Romany and Geneva. They are interesting in their own ways there is so much more I'd like to know about them. I find Thierry ridic and hilar too.
Like: Tiernan/King Asshole, Sintra, Ita, Callisto and Kendal.
Neutral: Viera, Aelie, Odrey, Tycho, Braelin, Nairi (I'd like to learn more about her history) and Oiyana.
Dislike: Griffin, Kilim, Arcas, Korry, Ardith, Terran and Sorrel.
| Purple.Tin chapter 7 . 12/1/2014
Hello! I have to say I didn't expect they all fall down to come back after all these months. I do understand your point, reapings are hard and sometimes you don't feel as motivated as the "real stuff", so yea a summary of the characters is enough to cover that part if you can't find the inspiration to write it. Also yea I know the feeling when you feel no longer like a big fan of something, it just diez off and there's no motivation anymore. Oiyana's summary was accurate so I suppose the rest are accurate aswell.
It upsets me though that you've decided to skip the Capitol chapters, I think they are necessary so us the readers can feel attached to the tributes that are going to die. I don't want to feel like it's just a bit more tan "a bunch of names dying in the games". Some of the things in this chapter sound amazing and I would've liked to read then in the flesh.
Of course I still think you are an amazing author with very good and creative ideas, and I still support the fic. I just thought it was important to see that. The games are the best part, but I feel like I gotta earn them and I am not ready for them so suddenly.
Soo, I liked Sintra very much, also Aelie sounds like an amazing tribute.
I love Oiyana's Alliance, I can see Sorrel and Korry getting along and Oiyana a more toned down person, complementing them but not in a conflictive kind of way. I always enjoy Career Drama so I support the "King Asshole" thing hahaha :P I am rooting for Sintra and Ita anyway. Trista and maxim are cute and wow A3, I always love strong girls alliances... and Terran. Ardith and Terran are awesome, yes I like this Alliance. D3 Alliance and Arcas intrigues me more idk if it'll work or not and I want to know already. I guess some people didn't want an Alliance, and some others couldnt get one despite of their efforts it is upsetting. :(
Take care and good luck on everything.
| Guest chapter 7 . 11/27/2014
Love: Sintra Ita, Griffin, Tiernan, Romany, Maxim and Geneva.
Like: Thierry, Aelie, Callisto, Trista, Kendal, and Korry.
Neutral: Sintra, Odrey, Tycho, Braelin, Ardith, Sorrel and Oiyana.
Dislike: Viera, Kilim, Arcas, Terran.
| Manda Louise chapter 7 . 11/27/2014
I'm impressed that you've come back to this story. Thank you for finishing it - I wish I had the time or the interest in doing the same with my own. We've all had that problem, I think; there may be a new wave of fans ready to take our places, but a lot of rabid SYOT fans have faded off the radar with school and life in our way.
I like the way you've developed Ita, she's still one of my favorite characters I've created (especially with how fast I used to do forms for tributes. Holy heck, I had my character creation skills down pat, didn't I?) so I'm glad I get to see how far she gets. And good for her, calling out misogyny. I guess even the characters I create are raging feminists, who knew?
Also, somewhat surprisingly, I really like the basic style. Your writing's still so good even like this, and this way you don't have to wade to get to the story you want. And Ita still gets her little times in the spotlight, so I'm happy. I hope she does well.
| Aylene.realms79 chapter 7 . 11/27/2014
Ok so it's obvious this was rushed, i can barley keep track of everything that was going on and characters didn't feel as fleshed out as they could be. My suggestion is that instead of putting out poor and rushed quality work, you can instead just make a chapter showing a list of the tributes with their official placings in the arena along with how they died/won the games. I do appreciate you finding time to write this chapter but it's clear you no longer have the inspiration or time to write to the best of your ability.
| katsparkle13 chapter 7 . 11/27/2014
Sorry, too lazy to log in to review!
Okay, I am so, so glad you've decided to continue this story. However, this chapter felt very rushed. There was just too much going on at once. You still had a lot of good stuff and the alliances were all very interesting to read about. You just didn't give yourself enough time to flesh out the characters and some got lost in the shuffle. As Nairi's creator, I can tell you that very much would "give a crap" about getting such a low score because, well, she isn't suicidal. Most kids in that situation would be terrified out of their minds. Also, I don't think she'd be a loner. Of course, you are the author and this is all up to you. But Nairi needs human interaction. She just wouldn't survive by herself.
It's okay though because this is all easy to fix. Your chapters would feel less rushed if you concentrated more on how the characters are reacting to the situations. How does all this stuff make them feel? Less "This happened and then this happened and then this" and more "This is how the character feels, even though he/she may not be showing it." You're a wonderful author and I really love this story. Just give yourself more time to perfect your work! It's okay if your updates aren't quick. It's the quality that counts.
I love getting updates for this story and I look forward to reading more! Please PM me if you have any questions.
| bobothebear chapter 7 . 11/27/2014
chaos u iz perf.
| JabberjayHeart chapter 6 . 4/11/2014
This is where I go against the current like the little hipster salmon that I am...
I didn't like Trista... oops. Like, major oops. I'm probably the only one who didn't? I read the reviews. Everyone pretty much loved her. But I just found her to be annoying... maybe it's my sexist nature towards female tributes where I hardly like them, idk. She was okay, not the worst or anything, but I just couldn't see what everyone else saw and massively fall in love with her. She was ordinary, very modern like normal tomboys, but... idk. I just didn't like her.
I. FREAKING. LOVE. CALISTO. SCREW THE HATERS, COME TO PAPA.
No, seriously, sexist nature insert here but I just loved the cynicism in Calisto's voice, and the way he wrote himself off, and his curly-hair in the picture... I just... attachment. ATTACHMENT. I can't explain it, but you were in your element when you wrote him. I know you, I know what you like to write, and this was basically your voice but in tribute-form. Calisto ticked all the boxes for me.
"Forgive me for not jumping with joy. Sprained ankle." - my feels doe
And, yeah. The emotions for his friends was cute. Ugh, just win already.
I... I liked Geneva. Okay, hear me out.
She isn't a massive favourite, but she's kinda good too. The whole "Tone it down!" being repeated and said was hilarious. Geneva's reaction was priceless too. Her slight rebellion that isn't forced was nice, too. But there are so many qualities underneath that, though, that reminds me of Inez for some reason. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. But reading her, all I could think of was a more feistier Inez...
Carmen... Torres... it's like a reincarnation in another district, you feel
And then Arcas. Unfortunately, totally overshadowed by the bigger personalities, but cute. Very cute. Not much to say, I don't hate him, but he's kinda boring and I smell bloodbath, sadly...
Favourites!: CALISTO FREAKING MILAS, Geneva, Arcas, and then Trista.
I mostly relate to Maxim, I guess, and Braelin. They feel ordinary and innocent. Griffin to some extent, too, mainly for the confusion about doing the right thing and doing the wrong thing against your gut instincts and all that. Yeah.
I like writing them...? I like the variety. The blogs. The idea that someone owns a character, and you can watch your idea come in the form under someone's fingertips? I like making characters to an extent, and watching someone's idea of them is fun to see.
Yeah. She was alright. Better than I though, but