|Reviews for A Radical Portrait of Dimension X|
| C-T-CT chapter 22 . 5/19/2014
After reading the "I injected a small dosage of it into Michelangelo and he's filtered...", why do I feel that could be the source of another potential plot? ;)
So Tibbit and Feldman fled to Dimension X now? I'm sure that plotline is not resolved yet.
So Donatello, Donatello now, reawakened Sagan? But how? I guess I'll have to wait for the next story about that. ;) So I looked over "SMEG" on a slang dictionary. LOL, okay Zarius.
Until the next story Zarius!
| C-T-CT chapter 21 . 5/19/2014
Oh, okay... so the sudden change in emotions between April, Michelangelo, and the rest of the gang was from Tibbit's golden medallion. Makes sense Zarius... :)
So Tibbit took/rescued Dask from the mayfly City. Hmm...
Okay, that was A LOT to process about how Tibbit, Preston, and Fiona were all connected, but I got it after a couple of reads.
It seems fairly odd though with so much building suspense that Leo and Raph wouldn't be around Agatha Marbles though. :/ But it could be leading to something more...
Fiona using a water gun seemed like a classic OT stunt move rather than using a real gun.
| BubblyShell22 chapter 22 . 5/14/2014
Whoa. Looks like it's not over for the Turtles by a long shot, though I love how you ended it giving us a taste of what's to come. I definitely can't wait for the next installment of this fantastic series. I saw two mistakes though: the hospital he was stationed I should be the hospital he was stationed at. Also, thrash cans should be trash cans. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next installment.
The Bubbly One,
| BubblyShell22 chapter 21 . 5/13/2014
Wow. A very interesting chapter to say the least. Hopefully all of this will be cleared up soon so that everyone can get on with their lives. I found a few mistakes though: bowel should be bowl, what's this business I hear of you ditching the pen pal should have a question mark after pen pal and I believe pen pal should be capitalized since it's the brand name of a soda, right? Also, central parks should be Central Park, Some of them are taken seems incomplete. If it's not meant to be an incomplete sentence, then it should have a period after taken to indicate that. Feldman smiled , should be Feldman smiled, and that's all I could spot. Other than those mistakes, good job. Sounds like this story's coming to an end soon. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
The Bubbly One,
| C-T-CT chapter 20 . 5/13/2014
Now it makes sense why April "chose" Michelangelo over Donatello; it was because of his effervescent personality, which fulfilled something emotionally deeper in April compared to Donatello's more stable/serious personality.
BUT... this chapter was very "off" in terms of tone. Here Tibbit is explicitly revealing his exploitation of the Neutrinos, Mikey, Donatello, and April with them all being irritated and angry (with Dask even forming a fist) and then suddenly the sentence: "As the group walked back inside..." There's a pleasant conversation between Mikey and April. Huh?! The above mentioned sentence is just WAY too abrupt here. I mean what happened between Tibbit's snarky remarks to the group after he spoke with Broze and as the group re-entered Tibbit's home (April asking about the park...huh?)? What type of outrage did the group express after Tibbit left? What are the group's plans now that Tibbit used them? How was the group able to calm themselves after Tibbit used them where April feels comfortable enough to talk about going to the park?
...Do you see what I mean Zarius?
| C-T-CT chapter 19 . 5/13/2014
So "The Butcher" is Fiona's father, ah! Interesting back story with "The Butcher" and how he sunk deeper into crime after the death of his wife and dealing with Shredder.
So the Tibbit Fiona is calling, is possibly the same Neutrino Tibbit critic? Hmm, and the use of "your pen pal". It's all starting to slowly connect here.
Okay, I get it now what "4:20" means (from Ch. 18), lol. (Marijuana drug slang.)
| C-T-CT chapter 18 . 5/13/2014
As for the Donatello-Sagan conflict, so Sagan is trying to make Donatello envious of Michelangelo's opportunities and life? Hmm... I wonder what EXACTLY Sagan was referring to when he said the Turtles "feel so over-privileged" that they don't know what to do with success or what Donatello is even saying? I might need specific references to "connect the dots" on that.
Is the "blame lazy writers trying to imprint their own beliefs on you" alluding to Nick perhaps? ;) lol
Again, I'm a bit curious how Sagan is mocking Donatello's feelings that Donatello might feel he's losing his identity. By always being "behind the scenes" perhaps with assisting in Mikey's thoughts and assisting Irma with the A.P.E. council of scientists.
Hmmm... what was the 4:20 joke about? I'm slow with that. lol
| C-T-CT chapter 17 . 5/13/2014
Was Leonardo wanting a vacation a small nod to the 2007 movie perhaps?
Love Leonardo's reflection over feeling that he and his brothers are drifting apart! Awesome stuff Zarius! These are moments that make the characters more "3D" and make the reader more invested into the characters! I have a small thought that this could foreshadow the ending of these stories. Hmm...
Wow, Raphael being perceptive about Leonardo's "confidence crashes"? Another plus here! :)
It's a good thing you explained the artwork Zarius, otherwise my mind would have been too dense to figure it out. (Reading the fanfics late at night, remember? :P) I really enjoy how you place messages and themes in your stories (just like with the chapter about the Neutrino critic).
I'm getting a suspicion that Fiona and the "Butcher" are related here.
I enjoyed this chapter a lot because it had many layers here: the Leo/Raph brother relationship, difficulty of family ties with the art and with Leo/Raph, using the painting as another clue that Fiona was subtly pointing to. This chapter really stands out!
| SewerSurfin chapter 20 . 5/11/2014
April's last line here was hilarious! Great chapter!
| BubblyShell22 chapter 20 . 5/4/2014
Awesome chapter. Glad you were able to update. Saw two mistakes: It's marketplace should be it's marketplace, and here?"he said should be here?" he said. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update. It sucks that Tibbit used them though. I never would have pegged him for a villain. Just goes to show you that not everyone is as they seem.
The Bubbly One,
| C-T-CT chapter 16 . 5/4/2014
Wait a minute... So these seeds are suddenly sprouting up a bustling city? Whoa. It's a city that lives for a day; hmm... so what could that speculate about Dask then since he was born here?
The conversation between Michelangelo and Kala clarified on why Michelangelo was speaking so eloquently in the last few chapters of the 7th story. It was also convincing writing on your part on how you were able to make Michelangelo be with April rather than Kala. With the Neutrinos, it's "party all the time" but here you gave Michelangelo some maturity in wanting more than just partying through Kala's dialogue, but I was hoping Michelangelo could have stated exactly why he wanted more than the partying lifestyle. Or maybe you'll add that later.
I really like how you are evolving the Mikey/April relationship here and its gradual evolution. Beforehand, the relationship seemed more casual and fun (with the normal cycle associated with a light romantic relationship), after Kala's statement the relationship seems to be forming deeper and deeper roots. Zarius, you have a unique insight into this April/Mikey romantic relationship that makes the relationship convincing, even though (and I like how you inserted this possibility) I lean more toward April/Don in the OT since April kissed Donatello twice in the series("Sky Turtles" and "A Real Snow Job").
;) We'll have to debate sometime about why you see April/Mikey vs. April/Don with me in the OT. LOL
Good job also on having the reconciliation scene for part of the canvas mission.
| C-T-CT chapter 15 . 5/4/2014
Wow, Rocksteady starting this chapter? Didn't expect this twist.
...So the Pen Pal Soda is a "truth-serum" drink of sorts? How will it all tie in...
LOL, over the conspiracy theorists over the moon's "power", which actually turns out to be true in this fanfic!
I enjoyed the perspective of Bebop and Rocksteady's enjoyment over the lunar buggy, it's always nice treat to see how these two (or any character in a fanfic) are mentally and emotionally viewing things; which give the story added depth.
So Shredder is building himself up...literally? Is this gonna be like Super Shredder now? Hmmm...
Love the Krang quips! After reading Krang's explanation with the "truther movement" (9/11 conspiracies), "new world order", "there is never any true peace movement, everything is compromise and conspiracy", I can see you are teasing around the issues of conspiracy theories, politics, the "ignorance is bliss" theme. It's reminding me of the TV show "Scandal" (starring Kerry Washington) here in the USA, lol. Have you ever seen the show by chance?
That was nice self-depricative joke on 80s cartoons at the end with Rocksteady's comment.
So wow! We have The Butcher, Sagan, Krang, and the mysterious bosses in the museum? I'm finding myself more and more allured to see how all of these villains are going to play into the story. I think this is the first time your fanfics have had this level of complexity with the villains, the multiple plots (the black label paintings, the Neutrino mission, the Pen Pal Soda scheme), not that it's bad, on the contrary, it's intriguing!
| C-T-CT chapter 14 . 5/4/2014
A perceptive Kala about April's propensity to get into trouble; it's good stuff. It'll be interesting to see if this topic gets addressed again, and how April will defend herself.
"I'm not mad, but I'm fuming" lol, the witty humor.
Donatello's unfocused, April and Kala work together...partially, and a clue in this chapter. Hmmm...
| C-T-CT chapter 13 . 5/4/2014
Leonardo knows his...art? Who knew. I like how you had Agatha take Leonardo and Raphael to the museum to get their opinions on art, and therefore their perspectives and illuminate more of their personalities.
Hmm, I tried to look for the Pen Pal Soda, "sticky stains", or Raphael's affinity for Pen Pal Soda in Ch. 9 and Ch. 11, but only near the end did I find Agatha holding up a crunched can near Raphael. Which we can assume, Raphael had a liking toward, but after skimming through the past pages, I don't see the Agatha consciously noting the "sticky stains" on Donatello's laptop, or if you wanted to be more subtle, have Donatello complain about how unusually sticky the keys are; it could have provided a small mystery within the story for the reader as well, before Agatha revealed it and make the reader piece together the details back in the forefront of the reader's mind.
I enjoy how Agatha has the insight into the Leonardo-Raphael relationship. This is the kind of brotherly interaction/relationship material I was looking for! Good job Zarius!
;) I see you bringing up your "We Are Shadows" fanfic. And I enjoy how you brought up the Dada art movement to apply back into the conversation.
Hmm, I'm wondering if Raphael bringing up the coordinates idea was a small reference to the "Split-Second" episode when the Turtles back then discovered the "time" was actually latitude and longitude.
| C-T-CT chapter 12 . 4/30/2014
So Tibbit is breaking the fourth wall and talking to us the audience? Hmmm...
So the drink provides a greater awareness for critiquing, "An outsider looking in"? Is this alluding to alcohol and drugs possibly? lol
I'm somewhat confused for having this speech included in the story, and I know you are trying to convey something important about critiquing, and perspective in this chapter, but it seems a bit jumbled up here and enigmatic.
...Okay, so I had to look at Wikipedia and take a glimpse about what "To Play the King" was about.
...But this chapter is still enigmatic for me. The breaking the fourth-wall speech jumps a lot from the drink, to the world of Denzreneigh, to passion for critique, not good at elaboration (even though this character IS explaining a lot), liking that he has enemies, never had an absolute understanding of words of the various ways they function (yet certainly knows a decent amount of vocabulary), to casual awareness, etc.
I'm wondering if you are teasing the reader when it states "flies right over their heads", "do you feel insulted?" and "that winging it with words is best" since I'm not really grasping this speech entirely, LOL. I'm wondering if you are using satire against the reader possibly (by breaking the fourth wall), suggesting something bigger (a social criticism), and/or how the drink itself can lead to some momentary, but incoherent ideas for the story itself.
So enigmatic layers here I'm trying to perceive... lol.