|Reviews for Mass Effect: The New Face of War|
| Gabe Clark chapter 1 . 1/23
So humans are the descendants of the inusannon then. From what Liara said in the first book, the age of the saltorians, and the continent innsua it seems likely...
| Narc626 chapter 1 . 1/23
Interesting so far. I'm trying to figure out the time line. So this is 2,ooo years AFTER the Halo series? you mention Spartans. and the hoomanisire, sounds like humans. Very interesting.
| Kuro no Shinigami chapter 41 . 1/11
Kind of jumped around a little bit for my liking, but done very well otherwise. And yes, you kept very well with Harbinger's character. Overall, I like it!
| scorpioneldar chapter 41 . 1/5
yes this was well done and yeah harbringer is arrogant holier than thou and also an omnicidal nutcase over convinced of his importance if sovereign is to be believed
| darkerego chapter 41 . 1/3
Great chapter once again. Looking forward to more.
| dswiller80 chapter 41 . 12/30/2015
I just have to say, that I thought that over time I absorb and contemplate the philosophies of different stories " universes". But you take the the cake. I had to stop half way through the chapter to congratulate you on this story. The defiance stated and acted upon by Spokane, the interaction between McGraw and the reapers, the deliberate forethought put into the situation by TIM were all awesome. Well done. I have read alot of stories with alot of different premises, this is one of the best for the incredibly complex thought that has gone into the story and chapter. Not to mention the difficulties that arise from combining different universes.
| galpinre chapter 41 . 12/29/2015
Thanks for the chapter ... good addition.
| V-rcingetorix chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
"They get shot ..." ? Really? I'd have thought TIM would be more - eloquent. Perhaps: "Offer the usual surveillance contract to Blue Suns, and code the image for media-wide dispersal, should he fail to comply."
"Martian soil had no insects or disease-ridden soil whatsoever" redundant
"Lost points in his book" a little casual. Perhaps: "Eden cigs sacrificed quality and texture for the all-around flavor, which made them less than perfect; unfit in his eyes.
"... to enter the darkened room, and reflect off the floor and ceiling" a bit clunky. What if you described the light a few words earlier, like: "enter the darkened room, gleaming off the polished surfaces."
"Finally, McGraw a small pair of gold plates ..." a bit of disconnect here. Not sure what to suggest.
" ... was the artifact and that was the artifact of McGraw's desires." A bit redundant; perhaps: "... was the artifact, the object of McGraw's desires." ?
"that I wouldn't notice. He thought, raising ..." I think there needs to be a comma after 'notice' (lowercase 'he' of course).
"you said you enthralled him ..." capitalize the 'y,' since it's the beginning of a new sentence.
'attican traverse': probably needs to be capitalized
'and on this property' since it's referring to multiple locations held by a single entity, this should probably be 'properties'
Ok, on to plot potential:
-The Ruins had/have a no-AI zone? If I remember aright, the news of the Ruins went viral pretty soon after their discovery.
-No REM with the augmented mind? VERY GOOD! A subtle cue missed by most.
-McGraw's exchange with the Assassin, witty.
-"Atlas held the celestial spheres for eternity, I can hold these creatures for a week." Very good hint for titanic proportions. Holding back the Reapers Indoctrination seems to be a Human thing ... even in canon, the only sapients capable of withstanding Indoctrination were human. Even then ... not too long.
-Low ceiling? Three meters is roughly 9.6 feet! A *low* ceiling would be more of 6 feet, almost cramped in that case.
-McGraw figuring out what the Reaper artefact had done to TIM and Ed? Very good! That's a plot-developer and no mistake!
- "Titans make war by making giants, and giants make war by making men. What do men do?"
I like how this rolls off the tongue, but it's slightly inaccurate. Of course, it depends on which mythology you use. Norse mythology has giants being (for all intents and purposes) gods of a different geography, whereas Greek myth has giants as the progeny of the gods' grandparents.
While I can agree that Prometheus made man in most Greek mythologies, and that man was made for war, Prometheus was a Titan, not a giant. In Norse mythology, the gods/giants (Aesir) were formed from ice, and man arrived on driftwood (Ask and Embla, don't question the naming custom).
But ... that's just me. I'm a bit of a history buff, and mythologies were something I loved to read.
- Killing a man as he talks to his wife and newborn daughter ... that's cold man.
So, in summary, a lot of good stuff and some things that could be repaired.
One thing I'd kinda like to see is more of a timeline for Ed Spokane's journal. I see the time correlation (did you go through TFW for events to categorize?), but a journal by nature has a date and timestamp. It's a method for staying sane in extreme locations; time measurement is a very important part of the process.
McGraw's pseudo-self. Clone? Robot self? The only question I really have here is how in blazes did McGraw connect his mind to that of the Reapers? And how does he know it's Harbinger, no names were given that I saw? Quantum Entanglement is one thing, but that works on a very small singular-molecular basis.
Your analysis of the Reaper goal is interesting, far better than what BioWare did. The Reapers have a logical impossibility; being bigger and smarter doesn't make them immune to the laws of reason, just more annoyed that they can't solve it apparently.
Mr. Spokane's blackmailing of Tevos, very *very* interesting. That, coupled with his acknowledgement of the death-resurrection process going on in Cronos, and the awareness that Shepard's mind-block device is operating - intrigues me. Lots of potential plot trails that could go there.
McGraw ... oh man. I was all set to be happy with him again ... then he dismisses the death of 1200 people as easily replaceable. You wrote that well, how inhuman McGraw has become, and what he's going to do. Earlier, he was all gung-ho for humanity - what I'm wondering is how much of it he thinks he has to kill before it's been 'saved' to his satisfaction?
Keep up the good work!
| Yankee718 chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
Man this story keeps getting better and better I love it! Just wow! Lol it always leave me wanting for more and I get sad when the chapter ends I get so into it that I don't realize that I finished reading it till I see the A/N I love these type of stories thanks so much for this great story PFB
| 5 Coloured Walker chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
Longer? Damn, it was pretty long as is.
Anyhow, a great chapter, I look forward to more.
| general-joseph-dickson chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
| Finally An Available Username chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
Awesome chapter man. Nice to finally see what actually happened to Spokane. What I don't understand is why he is still trying to subvert McGraw at every corner if he was truly purged from the indoctrination? Also, why would John meeting his mother shatter his trust? He knows he is a child soldier, he knows that he was taken from his family to serve as a soldier. Therefore, he must know that theoretically, the must be a possibility that his parents are still alive and kicking somewhere? Sure, Hannah might go bat-sh!t insane to find out what happened to her son and would probably fight tooth and nail to get him back. But why would that affect John? He knows what happened. Why would meeting the parents that he knows can be out there, but has never giving any sort of thought about them besides acknowledging that they might exist, shatter his trust in everything?
Anyway, awesome chapter man. Keep it up and merry christmas.
| Omeganian chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
Ouch. That sounds like Cerberus.
| Xuan Tian Shang Ti chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
Nice one :) Thanks for writing and being awesome
| CunkToad chapter 41 . 12/28/2015
So you're telling me some human with a bit of a brain update outtalked Harbinger and that indoctrionation is cureable by killing oneself? Saren offed himself and was still controlled by the Reapers just saying. Sorry not buying it, maybe I overread an important part but if it's basicly this I'll have to say that McGraw is growing too much into an op dude. He can't just go ahead and outsmart a billion year old AI.