Reviews for The Master Challenge: Intro and Kanto Arcs |
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![]() ![]() ![]() THis is an interesting surprised in the lack of interest in this so far, It's definitely one of the better ones ive seen. Ive decided to add this to my pokemon list on my profile page might spread this tory around a bit more. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I do believe Ash has gained his second Fan-boy and Ash's Sceptile gain his first in max's Sceptile perhaps try and copy with the Twig in Mouth. |
![]() ![]() ![]() There was something odd about that storm... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Cliffhanger! So irritating! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Put 30 characters in a story and the storyline will explode. Put blocks of paragraphs in the 30-different-character story and the storyline will explode. Having the first 3/4 of the first chapter makes the storyline explode. Having 100k words in a story with only 8 chapters will make the storyline explode. Aging characters that never age will make the storyline explode. In other words, you exploded the storyline. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Since I submitted my character I should probably leave a review. Story is interesting even if it has a lot going on. My best advice is to not state everything in the open. Learn to hint at things with out saying them and you'll entertain your reader more and immerse them in the story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Cliffhanger againnnnnn! Can't wait for the next one! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wooowwww! What an interesting chapter! Is Ash's father Giovani? I can't wait for the next chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() awesome chapter I love zoroark keep it up |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wwwwwwoooooooowwwwww! Fast updates! Yipppeeeee! I LOVE YOU AUTHOR-SAN! Please keep It uppppppppppp! |
![]() ![]() ![]() awesome chapter jolteon is an interesting pokemon hope to read another chapter soon |
![]() ![]() ![]() I LOVE IT! Amazing story! Please continue and update! |
![]() ![]() ![]() awesome chapter I can't wait to read what happens next |
![]() ![]() ![]() Make sure you spell out numbers so instead of "He's 4" it should always be "He's four,". Also, always start a new paragraph whenever someone new starts speaking, never put more than than persons lines in the same one. You don't really have a problem with this, just a little bit in the middle. Other than that there are no glaringly obvious errors, and your chapter is a good length. |