|Reviews for Cousin x Servant|
| New Universe Returns chapter 5 . 6/5/2014
I'd like to put a thought in Charles is that Charles is actually a girl named Charlotte. Charles is just a fake name. Either Ichika, or Cecillia, Houki or Rin found out about her true gender by accident, when Charlotte was taking a shower or something.
| tomy98 chapter 5 . 6/3/2014
Yeah the chapter is good and eventful but has gramer mistakes, I would suguest a beta reader to clear that up for you. Also is ther going to be a chance of a houkixichika pering or will it be diferent
| tomy98 chapter 4 . 4/27/2014
nice chapter, but since Houki isent going to be in a romantic relationship with Ichika then who is. There are like 4 girls left to chouse from, Alcott, Sarashiki sisters and Dunois. update soon, your fan tomy98
| Guest chapter 3 . 4/3/2014
I really like your story u absolutely fell in love with it I agree with tomy98 I really want to see a houki ichika pairing anyway hope you keep updating
| tomy98 chapter 3 . 4/1/2014
Good story and is there going to be a pering with ichka if so pleas make it houki since there is not enoutgh perings with and try to update soon
| Stratos263 chapter 3 . 3/31/2014
I'm a little confused I thought ichika was supposed to fight Cecilia
| Fireminer chapter 3 . 3/31/2014
That is a really nice change, actually.
| lajoie21 chapter 3 . 3/31/2014
good chapter . rin vs ichika . what happen next?
| VV chapter 2 . 2/15/2014
Uh maybe you should not use Ye Olde English. It tends to distract people while reading unless everyone talks like that, so maybe a re-write of that part. It took a bit for an update but hey it is an original story and highly enjoyable. So till next time
| ThePhenakism chapter 2 . 2/15/2014
Pretty good story so far very much interested in the next chapter.
| Stratos263 chapter 2 . 2/15/2014
Nice story so far
| Fireminer chapter 2 . 2/15/2014
Pah. Good chapter indeed.
| lajoie21 chapter 2 . 2/15/2014
good chapter. i know some british girl gonna meet a knight and he's gonna show who's is the strongest? what happen next?
| Velshard chapter 1 . 2/12/2014
I'm not sure how many readers started on this story and then shortly afterwards screamed "Abandon Ship!" without bothering to review but I imagine it was quite a few. I know I nearly did.
Let's make something perfectly clear here. No matter how good a story you have come up with, no matter how much time you have spent researching and hammering out plot holes, none of it counts for shit if the story is unreadable. And that's exactly what this is, unreadable garbage. Now I am not a fire breathing troll, but you must be aware that your Grammar, Sentence Structure, Punctuation, and use of Vernacular is ABSOLUTELY horrid from the perspective of a native English speaker. And while not the worst I've seen, it is as though you know in theory how the English language is suppose to work and more or less got things in some semblance of order. Hell, I'd almost swear this was a machine translation... Well whatever I doubt your an android or gynoid. The point being that a good story reads smoothly, having not just a nice flow but is well executed so there are no awkward moments with unnecessary info or needless scenes that disturb the current pace of what your reading.
All-in-all I honestly can't even say how good the story concept was because I was endlessly distracted by the crap editing. I will say that scenes like Ichika & Houki being shown their apartment were terribly awkward to the point of being cringe worthy, mostly because they felt like a C&P job of 'this is what the readers expect to be here' almost like you put no real effort in it. Which I know not to be true since you went to the trouble of creating such a long introductory chapter, indicating to me at least that you want to make a good story. But damn if you don't desperately need a qualified and patient editor, I know I sure as hell don't have the patience to sort this mess out.
As such I do hope to see a future version of this that has been majorly re-edited and my apologies for any hurt feelings.
| Fireminer chapter 1 . 2/5/2014
Interesting! I could see this as a parallel to my own fic. Anyway, nice start, but still too fast.