|Reviews for Don't Stay|
| Evangeline chapter 1 . 6/2/2015
Nice work! I think that you probably captured Ianto's mind quite well :)
| I love Janto chapter 1 . 8/12/2014
Ianto needed the right reason to stay.
| riversongandthedoctor chapter 1 . 4/26/2014
So cute. Loving this... Thanks.
| ukdramafan chapter 1 . 3/9/2014
Loved this - all of this. I especially loved that it was Ianto choosing to leave to protect himself from the knowledge of what staying really meant. It seemed to take Jack a while to 'get it' and yet they both recognize in the end that it's already too late to pretend it doesn't mean more, because it's already happened. A huge proportion of fanfic has Ianto as feeling unsure of his place in the relationship since Jack's actively striving to ensure Ianto understands that it's only casual (and the angst, and hurt/comfort stories are also good) , but it was nice to see that reversed somewhat. This time round it is Ianto trying to convince himself it means less than it really does, while Jack's happy for him to stay.
| Battery Bug chapter 1 . 2/27/2014
I really like this story. Which is also why I am going to review it. First of all, though, do you know the Green Day song “Stay the Night”? It seems to go really well with this story – especially part of the second verse: “Well you're so sick and tired of feeling so alone/ Well I don't understand the point if you have to go home”. (And the chorus is really fitting for Jack and Ianto in general, I think). I just had to mention it in connect with this. Now, on to the review!
I will put the first few words of the paragraph in a parenthesis before a comment, if I am pointing out anything in particular, so you have a chance of knowing what I am referring to.
(“Usually a place to eat, sleep, clean up”) I really like this reaction of Ianto's. It seems a very good (and very plausible) way to fend of Jack's enquiries.
I love the LotR (well, the Hobbit, really) reference. And the ensuing discussion about the whether you can name a cat for a dragon. It adds a nice little touch of humour, and I am generally a fan of this way of making (fan)fictions more “real”.
(And he flees, like a shadow...”) The Tennyson reference – is it actually inspired by Tennyson? It does not ring any bells for me (at the moment), but it does have a sort of Tennyson-y feel to it. If it is not – actually, even if it is - I really do like that line. For yeah, what Ianto is doing is no longer not staying – it is definitely fleeing.
(“Ianto turned and stared at him...”) Lovely description of the open mouth, since it also invokes the other meaning of the metaphor, the fish out of the water, which seems suiting, as Ianto is obviously not used to (nor comfortable with) Jack's acceptance of his trying to keep a distance. I bet Ianto is more than a little upset that Jack stops acting clingy (and honestly, who can blame him!).
(“In the end it was unsatisfying.”) I really love this paragraph for some reason. It works really well for me, especially the order (unsatisfying, then the information the Ianto left). I also think it works in general – that he does not stay then and there, end of story, but it is more the other part. I did some theory a while back on ordering of information in sentences and the reason for it (and blah, blah) and I think that might be why it stands out for me. It breaks the flow – in a good way – and becomes all the more noticeable. And (I do not really remember what happens next, even though I read the stories a few days ago - I am writing this as I go) it just seems like a point of no return. Only it does not give away if the affair will crumble or evolve.
(Jack looked up at him with such sad eyes...”) I really like the wording of this, and the picture of “something else [being] in danger of falling apart before it even started”.
(“'I'm sorry,' Ianto whispered again.”) I love the admission here, of Ianto's being terrified of the consequences of a “proper” relationship with Jack. It is very elegantly done!
(“It could take all night”) The second sentence of this paragraph, “His eyes softened...” is just slightly unclear. Logic would suggest that the pronoun should refer to Ianto, but it must be Jack doing the smiling, since “he” reaches out to take Ianto's hand. If it is something you want to do anything about (I mean, the confusion only lasts for about half a line, so it is really not that bad), maybe you could swap the first pronoun for the proper noun or something else - “The captain's eyes...”, “The other man's eyes...”, something.
I like the conclusion, too. It is sweet, but not overdone. No profuse I love you's or throwing themselves at each other's feet. Not that I think you would ever have done that (I have been through quite a lot of your stories by now), but it is nice, nonetheless.
As a more general note, I like how each part is structured, ending with variations on Ianto's habit of not staying that reflect each other, but yet seem progressive. You can actually follow the story develop from those alone, and I think that is brilliant. You could almost have skipped the last one, though. “No more running” would have been an equally neat ending, but it works as it is, so never mind my stray thoughts!
He would not stay, no matter how hard Jack tried to convince him. (Laying out the fact)
He left. Staying with Jack was out of the question. (Underlining/repeating the fact)
Jack could tie him up – that might be interesting – but he still wouldn't stay. It was casual, and that's how casual worked in his book. (explaining/excusing the fact)
In the end it was unsatisfying. Because once more, Ianto did not stay. (Suffering under the fact)
“No more running.” That night he would stay. (The fact be damned)
| badly-knitted chapter 1 . 2/10/2014
I find this utterly believable, it even makes sense of Jack's comment to Real!Jack that he had no one, because with Ianto always leaving, Jack must have thought he didn't feel the way Jack himself did - if that makes sense.
Glad they managed to finally figure it out in the end, even though Jack then runs off with the Doctor without so much as a note. I guess he didn't expect to be gone for long.
| Aya2013 chapter 1 . 2/10/2014
great story! thanks :)
| darcy58 chapter 1 . 2/8/2014
Two words that inspired a conversation and then a well told story: "Don't Stay". What I love is that there's no moaning angst, it's done with strength in both characters. And helps with overturning the trope of Ianto always following Jack's lead. Can't wait to have more discussions.
| Cerih chapter 1 . 2/7/2014
You're right, it's not what we initially talked about, but I really like the way that spark of inspiration grew into this story. Nice to see Ianto holding back for once, rather than Jack. Another trope shot down! I also really loved the way you incorporated the CJH aftermath discussiong into this, a great way to use it to bring the threads of the story together to a very satisfying conclusion.
As ever, I very much enjoyed this and no doubt continue to do so, as I expect I'll be returning to this story periodically, when I need something good to read. :)
| Jess729 chapter 1 . 2/7/2014
I love that all my favorite people were involved in this (even in inspirations/conversation)! I don't get the time to review often enough anymore but don't ever think I'm not reading and enjoying : )
I was a little apprehensive at first as to where this story was going but I absolutely loved where it wound up. It feels really organic as an origin story for how the boy's grew together. You can explore the Realm as long as you would like and I'll be there reading! : )
| sd4ianto chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
It was so full of confused emotions. Confused on both sides. I can see Ianto's side of if he stays it makes that commitment never to be able to take it back. Then Jack how he feels more connected when "they" stay.
| Alice Carter chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
I hope that you and your co- conspirators never grow tired of exploring this realm, especially when the results are as insightful and poignant as this. Absolutely lovely!
| gracefultree chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
I really enjoyed this. It gets to the heart of Ianto's conflict very clearly. Thanks!
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
Really good. I loved the way you captured each. Thank you!
| BelladonasMom chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
Simply Lovely. Well done!