Reviews for jade fall's for tori
Guest chapter 8 . 1/29/2015
Oh!...man,,,,,,you are not a gd writer...ur spellns are not correct,lot of things are not in terms atall...altogether hun,ur story sucks...m sry hun buh thats just the truth
why chapter 9 . 9/2/2014
Please.. Review your story multiple times to check fir grammatical errors. We're not doing it for you and we certainly don't enjoy it.
SKRowling chapter 7 . 8/4/2014
The dialogue is coming around, but each piece of dialogue we got for free I was throwing over my shoulder.
SKRowling chapter 6 . 8/4/2014
Well... This story just...

Separate the dialogue with quotations... Pay attention to your reviews.
SKRowling chapter 5 . 8/4/2014
She can't eat all of that... She probably can't eat much at all.
SKRowling chapter 4 . 8/4/2014
The pregnancy... It takes weeks for that to happen... Even a magical baby needs lag time to appear.
SKRowling chapter 3 . 8/4/2014
Ok... Uh...that was weird. You read stories and get ideas that's great... But there is an art of bringing it the story down read some more and fluff.
SKRowling chapter 2 . 8/4/2014
Um... How old are you?
SKRowling chapter 1 . 8/4/2014
Don't be crass... Use a better word than pussy. Don't write on your tablet/phone names always. is need to be capitalized and this is how you spell because.
mouseforever19 chapter 7 . 5/26/2014
When using the quotation marks they dont need to be around everything just speech. Also please tell us who is speaking otherwise it gets confusing.
Guest chapter 1 . 5/17/2014
Your story is all over the place.
Torigagged chapter 5 . 5/10/2014
Do you mean pregnant(with child)?
mouseforever19 chapter 5 . 5/10/2014
Its a good story, but could you please sort out your spelling and punctuation. Also try and make things clearer its hard to figure out whats going on at sone points.
Kigo Queen chapter 4 . 2/10/2014
First off you need to check your spelling, and your punctuation, and research pregnancies because you can't get signs that quickly. And why is it that you just write instead of try to inspire? I bet that you can do it if you tired.
Kigo Queen chapter 3 . 2/9/2014
Your sentences need to be laid out better. Like for one your talking doesn't actually get "quoted" at all and you don't make complete sentences. Not only that but you jump strait to the point to quickly. Oh, plus you only capitalize names and the letter I most of the time. You also jump point of view quickly.

Other than that I would like to see more of this story and to see where Jade and Tori will take this.
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