|Reviews for Voidwalker|
| andrewwhiting96 chapter 5 . 3/5
Okay...I have been holding off hoping that you would eventually stop. But the DS parts with the CU have absolutely no value in this story whatsoever and does not belong. If you wanted to do a DS story cut that shit out and make one on its own, otherwise it detracts from the actual story for no reason and just shows your inability to keep a longer plot going in a chapter. If you were going to make a chapter as long as these and just needed an idea to do it with, then you could have had Artorias perform the actions he is known by the students for instead of having random non sequitur that detracts from the value and character of his actions. Another thing of note is you have characters using words that they have absolutely no reason to know, or even descriptions that have no meaning in the story. The dere connotations and CU calling Priscilla a (Japanese) shut-in. He has no ability whatsoever, along with other characters, to know what that/those words even are. Its a glaring flaw that I haven't seen others mention at all. I also haven't noticed whether or not it was mentioned to you, but I will say it just in case. Artorias and Ciraian never got together. It was stated that it was a unrequited love on Ciraian's part as Artorias was a all business soldier, and was too dedicated to his job. I believe Vati did a Prepare to Cry video on it, or might have been someone else. Just pointing out your inconsistencies.
| raddaraddaradda2 chapter 10 . 3/5
Please do continue this story is is amazing and i really would like to see more of it.
| Touhoufanatic chapter 10 . 1/23
Oh my God I want more!
I want more so much I just . . . . Uuugggghh.
Please, please update this! It's great and it ends more!
(Abyss Louise being slightly similar to oblivion Louise from one of my fics helps too, but I wanna see miracle maid siesta!)
| Hou chapter 8 . 1/17
Wow, I am skipping this whole chapter, it has nothing to do with real story.
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/17
God, I hate the CU, just another self insert.
| dragoncaller45 chapter 3 . 11/14/2016
you REALLY like ending chapters with a 'fuck' don't you?
| ThePhantomDragons chapter 10 . 10/16/2016
Well done! I checked this fic out for shits and giggles but you made an actually great story! I look forward to the next chapter should you ever get around to it and if not then have a nice day!
| Mister Cuddlesworth chapter 10 . 10/9/2016
I really hope that this isn't completely abandoned. I know that it probably is, but by the Flame and Gwyn's almighty beard, I hope it isn't.
| Command8 chapter 10 . 9/23/2016
is the story 404? have you played DS3 yet? are you exited for the dlc?
| Delphi913 chapter 10 . 8/9/2016
Well, this fic got off to a rocky start. The random interjections of author's notes in the middle of the text, the colossal author's notes at the beginning and end of chapters, references to other anime and random things, various grammatical errors such as switching tenses, and the seemingly pointless interjections to Lordran (as entertaining as they are to read).
However, I must say that the story has improved a lot since the beginning. The originally pretty light-hearted feel of the ZnT world has been swapped for something a bit more somber with Louise being overwhelmed by the Abyss and Tabitha being the only thing holding her back from the edge, aside from her own fire and determination that is. I'm fully expecting you to take advantage of that later.
Speaking of that, the romance between them is more well-done than I thought it would be. While it was pretty OOC for Tabitha to propose they be friends in the first place, I think everything after that was logical and handled well, and I like how their relationship is actually built on something. That something may be the pains they hide from others, but it is something at least and I hope it gets brought up more later.
I can also see some tension potentially brewing between them already as I notice Louise hasn't returned those three pesky words yet, despite admitting exclusivity in her attraction to Tabitha which is practically a declaration of love already. Likewise, while Tabitha has revealed her past regarding her mother, I notice she hasn't unveiled her real name or the fact that she's a spy. I see potential for drama there as well. That's not even mentioning Karin and what her reaction to all this will be; I look forward to that.
Artorias is a decent change of pace from other Crossovers I've seen, being a loyal and dedicated comrade without completely overtaking her character and stealing the fic for himself, and while he's not that interesting in his own right, he has Manus to keep things fun. Truly if Manus and Derf could talk to each other, there would be no rest for either Master or Familiar. Artorias seems more the protagonist that the audience can connect with and use as their perspective and that's appropriate for his role. I certainly like him better than Saito.
Speaking of Saito, him as the Chosen Undead is a revelation. I absolutely love the way that you have written him and I can think of nothing negative to say about it. The only thing that bothers me is that, as I said in the beginning, the interjections to the DS world don't seem to have much of a point. I mean, I'm hoping that they're building to one at least. Like, you're establishing character right now so that they can perhaps be summoned later and you can just roll right into it? Maybe?
I have no problems with you changing the tone, though, or presenting things that couldn't actually happen in the original DS world because it's a fic and go nuts I say. I believe one of your other reviewers brought up tonal balancing in that ZnT is getting darker where DS is getting lighter and I see no issue with that.
Your anti-Brimir familiar idea is an interesting one, but I have to reserve my judgement until we get more details about the others.
Either way, by this tenth chapter, this fic is up there with my favorite ZnT/DS Crossovers like chiriruoni's Blessed by the Moon and Ando Owen's Appearance of the White Lady. I have a pretty good feeling about this one, and I hope you can get back to it soon.
| Warden of Lore chapter 3 . 5/12/2016
if i may offer a suggestion, based upon artorias knightly... well everything and the fact that he was famous for being the knight with an unbreakable will, I believe that artorios would not submit to lousise just like that and start calling her master, I believe that he would just call her lady lousie or m'lady. just a suggestion
| gold crown dragon chapter 10 . 4/21/2016
sit allone he is from the east plus his big ass katana is epic or you could put some darksoul 1&2 charater
| gold crown dragon chapter 2 . 4/19/2016
ahh my waifu oh well i still had my doll and maiden in darksoul 3*rise the burial blade*no one dare to touch her
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/16/2016
this is lordran no this is sparta no this is beowulf no this is patrick
| Sazq chapter 10 . 3/14/2016
Hey, great story so far! Don't suppose an update is in the works?