|Reviews for To Say Goodbye|
| Blazingfury05 chapter 1 . 4/1
This is a sad story even by you're standards, but I guess that's why I like it. You don't try and say the reality that even the strongest of us are still mortal and still need to feel comfort and still need to learn how to deal with death and pain. I do hate fics where spyro is perm dead but overall I still love this. Even if my hear aches from the mere title and summary.
| IllusionMaster17 chapter 1 . 12/5/2018
Well... I remember looking at this one-shot lomg ago. When I read it I was overwhelmed with such emotions feelings. And now... is the same thing.
At the beginning I was quite confused with Cynder's behavior with not speaking to Spyro in her walk, and when Volteer and her was talking and reffering to "him"
In that moment I was wondering, who is him?
The narration and expression of Cynder's feeling and tears were almost enough to let me thing who was him.
It was nice the introduction of Flame and Ember in the shot as Cynder's friends.
Also, the whole narration with Cynder leading with her problems with people still distrusting her was shocking, and her determination was admirable.
And the last part in the memorial... there was the breaking point, although I already figured it out, but still was devastating.
Spyro was dead all the time, such harsh truth, and seeing Cynder grieving about it was so sad.
And still, she managed to smile, for him...
I really expected that when Spyro tries to comfort her, she can feel more than just a touch in the shoulder. Maybe a whisper of his voice or even a warm feeling, to ease her pain.
Honestly, I'm not used to (or even I hate) tragedy, like the death of someone inportant like Spyro, but the way you made the story was so impressive and emotive in many ways.
Great story. :')
| loki chapter 1 . 6/2/2018
omg i am crying this is so sad, but it such a good piece
but i hate stories that end like this
please make a sequal piece to this please
| AWSR chapter 1 . 4/5/2018
Oh great I just finished re-reading Mistreated and I just had to read this story too, didn't I? I must really be in the mood for crying because my God, these 2 stories are great but they punch me in the feels SO MUCH! T-T
Part of me is like, "I know this is a one shot but if you ever decide to continue that would be really interesting, especially seeing a sort of reunion between them." Of course that probably won't happen but hey, I need sone way to deal with my feelings here!
On a more serious note, this oneshot was heartwreanching and really well made. I figured Spyro was dead from the moment I saw the title and Cynder's emotions just broke my heart. And even then you could still feel the love they shared (and still share).
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/4/2018
This is really sad ;-;
| Ditch M8 chapter 1 . 9/11/2016
should of had spyro write something in the ground in front of cynder and the words spyro should have wrote "cynder I'm here for you and I always will be it breaks my heart too see you like this but I always wanted to tell that I loved you too and I miss you...
love you forever Spyro...
| Hawki chapter 1 . 6/23/2015
-“It was late at night, the stars were bright…”
Rhyming doesn’t help here I’m afraid.
-“But it is impossible to that now.”
Grammar’s off. Guessing it should be “but it was impossible to do that now.”
-Early writing is a bit of an info-dump, but the pace and tone is okay. You tend to repeat the same noun in the text a lot, such as “the book,” over and over. Alternation of common nouns can liven up narrative (and at times, dialogue), such as “the work” or “the tome.”
-“I am doing just fine. Thank you for asking. How are you doing?”
“I am doing swell. I appreciate you for asking.”
No. Just no. I’m sorry, but there’s no way around this – this is terrible dialogue. To quote Shakespeare, “serendipity is the soul of wit.” In other words, don’t waste the reader’s time. Here, two lines are dedicated to letting us know that the characters are “fine.” Also, it’s indicative in that there’s a lack of conjunctions used in the piece.
-Also, minor point, but Volteer sounds nothing like he does in the games. Volteer basically always talks quickly, rambles, etc. Here, his sentences are short, and formal. I could see this coming from Terrador, but Volteer? Nah. That said though, the formal nature of dialogue does work better for Spyro given how he’s portrayed in the LoS trilogy.
-“You’re not hurt are you?” asked Ember worringly.
Cut out “worringly.” It’s an adverb, and the dialogue by itself conveys the worry.
-“How about we spare a little?”
Should be “spar.” Also, not sure how this is relevant to the overall piece. Feels like padding.
-“Actually, Ember” Interrupted Cynder.
Should be a comma after “Ember,” consequently, “Interrupted” shouldn’t be capitalized.
-So, Spyro’s dead. I…actually didn’t see that coming. Though that said, the twists are there. I once read that “a good twist will make me say ‘I didn’t see that coming.’ A great twist will make me say ‘I didn’t see that coming, but should have in hindsight.’” So, by that logic, it does count as a great twist.
That said, while the story is conceptually sound, the execution of it…isn’t. The main problem is how the dialogue is written – the Ember/Flame scene drags on far too long, and clashes tonally with the rest of the piece. A lot of time is spent establishing how characters feel, but it isn’t needed – Cynder’s actions tell me how she feels (isolation, reading books) – the story doesn’t need the feelings spelt out in dialogue. That, and the lack of conjunctions, which bogs the writing down even further.
So, kudos for concept. But the writing could do with improvement.
| CanzetYote chapter 1 . 2/11/2015
Awww...poor Cynder. Every time I read the part where Cynder cries, I fantasize licking those tears running down her muzzle with my tongue and giving her a warm hug to comfort her.
| XDavidxCythX chapter 1 . 1/12/2015
the heavy hit of emotions are felt here, to go all that way into it only to find out Spyro is dead really just kills a bit of me from the inside, now if only i could master such things and make people feel something like you do... now that would be great
| CjTheDragonWolf chapter 1 . 10/11/2014
I really enjoyed this one-shot, though it had quite a few spelling and grammar errors. Otherwise it was awesome, and a very clear depiction of what could happen if spyro died and cynder lived.
| MonstaWolf chapter 1 . 9/1/2014
I have to say, it took me awhile to realize that Spyro was dead.
Other than that, you defenitly got the mood correct with this story, especially at the end.
| Namu Rosutoai chapter 1 . 8/31/2014
Oh ok now I am completely lost now. I got a notification saying that chapter 2 came out but this is a one shot story and I don't see Chapter two, am I going crazy?
Another question, any news on "Panacea" and "The Return"? I'm not trying to pry or anything
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/31/2014
| Wreathed In Shadow chapter 1 . 8/4/2014
That final twist almost reduced me to tears. :')
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/23/2014
U Are Great.