|Reviews for Burning Gold|
| Siderial chapter 16 . 8/29/2014
Figured I'd just write one huge review, rather than a chapter-by-chapter thing, if only to spare you from the flood of notifications.
Let me just say reading this reminded me why I adored your stories when I first stumbled on your KnM stuff all those years ago. There's this brevity that I've personally never been able to exact in the way your exposition interposes with dialogue. A brevity that lends incredibly well to the setting, while not skimping on detail.
Loved the characters and their roles; I found each and every one of them fitting, having incorporated the issues they carry from the show proper. Dialogue was a far cry from how they'd speak canonically – stiff is the word I'd use – but that's expected; different time, different roles, different mannerisms. They still retained most of their individual quirks (Ruby and Jaune were still the adorable floundering little puppies in Chapter 3), and that's made this a pleasure. Especially enjoyed how you've looped in Jaune's personal demons; helped escalate things and draw in investment from the get-go, and it was clear Ruby – being Ruby – would help her friend. I actually didn't think you'd have her gallivanting freely to stop a thief, and then be so apt at battle since she's a lady from the upper echelon in steampunk era... but I was wrong. Not too far-fetched though: Ruby always wanted to be a huntress, and Yang's her older sister. Probably should've predicted that... (And the combat skirt reference? Brilliant.)
Weapons? Elaborate and wonderfully designed. I have to applaud you on that front; would have never thought to give Ruby what she had, and have it STILL have properties of Crescent Rose. Would've totally copped out, personally. Your combat scenes play out great – fluid, well-thought and banter-filled. I recall you mentioning in a previous PM that you weren't comfortable with them, or something along those lines, but you really knocked it out of the park.
I LOVED that you put Ruby in a coma. There were threads sort of laying around in the previous chapters, but they were still disconnected. The build-up was slow. However, everything crescendoed with this one moment, and all the drama managed to start tying together right there and then. I had questioned things here and there, little tiny things, but you managed to axe my doubt the second Yang and Jaune had their argument. Moreover, every character's more... developed than their canon counterparts (to be honest that's not too hard), and I'd chalk that up to the whole age/setting thing. They're smarter, that's for sure.
Loved the allusions here and there. Of course Torchwick would have read Macbeth. And 'It's a gun, and it's also another gun!' probably has to be my favourite line throughout this story. Ruby never fails to disappoint.
In the end, everyone survives. And I think that for a Steampunk AU that's listed under Adventure/Family, that's great. Torchwick's death would've been tragic, to say the least, because he truly is an affable villain even after trying to murder precious baby Ruby. Moreover, it would've sent the story down a dark path I don't think anyone was really hoping for or expecting; had you wanted to go that route, Jaune's angst and Yang's rage would've probably played a much greater part. Speaking of Yang, with her hands mostly clean, she retains that sensibility she's always carried with her; she's not a cold-blooded murderer, and she's not letting some poncy thief change that. Alls well that ends well, yes? Fitting. Very very fitting.
I could probably go on about how intelligent it was to incorporate the trailers and whatnot, but I think I'll cut this review short because really it's all praise. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this thoroughly, and I'll be damned if I don't follow Belladonna Lilies now.
| xiii-Dex chapter 16 . 8/26/2014
Wait... It it... OVER? (Sobs)
Wonderful story, hope you start something else interesting soon!
| SilverWordsmith47 chapter 16 . 8/24/2014
Perfect. I hope this is not the last we hear of Ruby and Yang in your fantastic AU, though.
| Noob6 chapter 16 . 8/23/2014
great story! any teachers who could help ruby adopt a fighting style fora a scythe? i smell QROW TIME!
| reality deviant chapter 16 . 8/23/2014
it was good fic while it lasted.
thanks for sharing it, and hope you will write more fics
| Craxuan chapter 16 . 8/23/2014
Erm, I was kind of expecting an Author's Note, not to mention an ending that doesn't look like it's suddenly cut off. Excellent narrative as usual though.
I'm sorry that the first words out of my mouth were literally, "What the f?" when I saw the title Epilogue, though...
| BOT Jack chapter 16 . 8/23/2014
A fitting end for a great story. A riveting read with a well crafted world and commendable characterisation. I eagerly await your next work (or the next update of Belladonna Lillies).
May your muse be kind and generous.
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/15/2014
I dont really know why but I'm rooting for Torchwick..? kinda. Sorry..
But still, this is a really interesting story, two of my favourite things, RWBY and Steampunk. Awesome!
Looking forward to the next chapter.
| Zephyrus Genesis chapter 15 . 8/9/2014
Yay! Roman didn't die!
And, WOW, this was WAY better than anything I came up with. Nicely written! Though there were a few places where the rhythm stuttered a bit. And was that bit at a beginning a typo? I believe the phrase is 'the best defense is a good offense' but you put 'the best offense is a good offense'.
| Craxuan chapter 15 . 8/9/2014
NEVER look down on the power of a well-said 'Fck you!', which I am sure what Yang and Torchwick REALLY meant to say to each other! They can pierce even the heavens! Kinda.
For a moment I thought for sure Torchwick's gonna get away, but I guess this is fine, too. Considering his skill and backup (you know, that sure-to-show-up-eventually-Cinder), getting out of jail will be far easier than getting away from freaking Yang Xiao Long.
On a completely unrelated side note, I've FINALLY finished Blake's Arc (well, Part 1 kinda, since I didn't mean to torch everything in one go like Yang's, you know, because plot?), and now the oh-god-please-no-don't-AHHHHH editing before I post them up here. Good god, it was an insanely long ride to go through, and I'm almost sure it didn't measure up to 'Fire & Gold' because of the intentional sinks. Dah, whatever.
| Darkblaze40 chapter 14 . 7/26/2014
Torch wick is so screwed!
| Craxuan chapter 14 . 7/26/2014
Do you play Gun of Icarus? Because it's starting to sound like you've at least touched on it before - even my gray-dead mind came close to imagining the actual ship.
| Zephyrus Genesis chapter 3 . 7/13/2014
Question: In later chapters it seemed like the police had only known Roman's alias of Phantom Gentleman and it had been Yang giving his name AND address that let them begin to lock down on him, so why does Jaune know his full name? Was that a mistake or was it deliberate and I'm missing something from later chapters?
| Dramon Creator chapter 13 . 7/12/2014
An investigation chapter! I like the way you portrayed Inspector Arc and the rest of the police force. It goes to show, when you give a cop a clue, they know how to use it.
| growlscout chapter 12 . 6/28/2014
This was an interesting chapter. I had not realized that Goodwich was actually teaching Ruby about being a Huntress, particularly given her reaction to Yang and her pit fighting. I am glad to see a little more insight into the family dynamic - how their father views huntressing and his two daughters. I liked Yang's point about how he probably sees her as a son, and it makes a lot of sense since 1. she is the eldest and actually favors him in stature and looks, and 2. given her familial history, she can actually get away with more of the "male" activities while raising fewer eyebrows than Ruby would.
Good conversation between Yang and Ruby. :-) I look forward to Yang and Jaune kicking Torchwick's butt!