|Reviews for The Scruff Factor|
| Thessaly chapter 7 . 1/14/2008
"I might also hope that Curunír will suddenly dance around the corner dressed as a rabbit, distributing flowers and candy to deserving Elflings"
Bwahahahahahahahaha. THAT is one of about 35 reasons I love this story. I stared it expecting some kind of Very Secret Diaries re-cooked and found instead a lively and wonderfully silly piece of writing. Well done!
| Greensleeves the Great chapter 7 . 10/28/2007
This story is great not only because of the humor, but also because of the glittery richness of it. Lovely details. You can see the robes that Legolas, Elrond, Arwen, etc. are wearing, and you can also see the Twins covered in mud...::snicker:: Anyway, I loved your story and I eagerly await the Return of the Scruff.
P.S. I loved the bit about Curunir/Saruman and the Easter Bunny.
| floer21 chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
I almost fell off my chair from laughter!
The amount of reviews is amazing considering the number of chapters. There are longer stories that barely reach 200 reviews!
(claps) indeed a great job!
| Ganheim chapter 7 . 9/11/2007
Scruff Factor, Part the Sixth: The Return of the Prince
made Orcs and Uruk-hai decide to slit their own throats and save themselves the trouble.
[Though this is funny, I feel the need to point out that at this point in the canon world of Middle Earth, Uruk-hai didn’t exist yet. I'm fairly sure they didn't.]
Elrond paused mid-step and turned, looking far more dangerous than either son had seen him look in quite some time. Their matched gulps were almost audible.
[It is _scary_ how you pick out so many moments of everyday life to throw in, I was in that exact position several times.]
(though there was absolutely no doubt in Elladan's mind that said outfit had been cleaned within an inch of its life since then).
[Please excuse me as I nearly die laughing.]
His face, of course, was the picture of wounded sweetness...
[The beauty of the simplicity here was awe-inspiring.]
You look-astonishingly well-groomed and every inch a masterful Man.
[By the surrounding structure, I think that a small pause belongs after “look”, but shouldn’t that be indicated with an ellipsis instead of an extended hyphen indicating abrupt change?]
"Come along, you two-we do not want to keep everyone else waiting," he said, in his best command tones. "Elladan-go clean up.
[Again, I think ellipses belong instead of extended hyphens.]
"Neither said nor did"- Elladan looked as if he were ready to have some sort of stroke. "How-what-you cannot say that!"
[Again, I see extended hyphens when it seems from the structure that ellipses belong.]
"Well-but-then what was all that nonsense about you having a Plan,
[Extended hyphens instead of ellipses?]
"You even went so far as to ask me whose side I was on-do you recall what I replied?"
[This is closer to what might be a sharp break, but if it’s supposed to be a ‘trailing off pause’ then an ellipsis would fit better.]
"And-the point of all this was-what?"
[Extended hyphens instead of ellipses?]
"You misbegotten little Moriquendi git," he said, in tones approaching amused reverence.
[You’ve done it again. Excuse me as I pull myself up off the floor.]
"You just wait until I figure out which way you'll jump with this-trap?
[Extended hyphen instead of ellipsis?]
Scruff Factor, the Epilogue:
Glorfindel was ready, in fact, to swear he had seen four Uruk-hai and three Mordor archer Orcs do precisely that at Dagorlad—and Elrond had not even been speaking directly to them.
[As incredibly funny as this is, I again have to ask: did Uruk-hai make an appearance this early? It was my understanding that they didn’t come into existence until after Saruman began creating them after he began making his own designs to take the One Ring after the fellowship departs following this story.]
Glorfindel raised an eyebrow of his own, careful to do so on the opposite side from Elrond’s, lest the room be out of balance somehow.
[That was hilarious.]
You know how I depend on you and your brother to be my eyes and ears in the realm.”
[Another moment to roll on the tile, laughing.]
“That—did not come out as intended,”
[Extended hyphen instead of ellipse?]
[Again, I must state that I greatly appreciate the fact that you’ve conveniently included an appendix of translations attached to the end of the chapter(s). Good form.]
This entire work was an excellent read, it was funny and had its share of good drama, along with time after time of clothing descriptions that I will be recommending to people for a long time. Aside from a very few minor technicalities here and there, the story was virtually without flaw, and has most definitely earned a place of recognition in my favorites list, recommended to the world.
God bless and happy writing,
| Kirsty chapter 7 . 8/20/2007
I've just read this for the millionth time, and yet again it's made me laugh constantly. I've commented you on Dark Leaf before, but this is awesome too, and although I read your profile, I cannot help but ask if there is anything coming anytime soon on DL or the sequel to this... I really can't wait! So many questions (ie will Legolas still win!) etc, but I'll end by just complimenting you...it's well written and hysterically funny...thank you!
| Ganheim chapter 5 . 7/18/2007
Part the First: In Which a Ranger is Caught Off His Guard
had been in Rivendell during the daylight hours, for more than a few short rotations of the clock.
[Extraneous comma following ‘hours’.]
all things being considered as equal.
[Though there’s nothing grammatically incorrect about this, I’ve always heard it ‘all things being equal’ and the additional words make your version seem…blocky.]
"Estel! Mae govannen, nîn mellon!"
[I’m wondering why ‘estel’ isn’t italicized, when the rest of the elvish is. I also want to point out that with so much of this line being italicized, it could easily be taken as a thought (since that’s the standard formatting for a thought, and ‘estel’ could easily be an emphasized word instead of just the opening.]
"Lindir, please, I-it’s good to see you too,"
[The double or extended hyphen is typically used to indicate a sharp break, like when somebody else interrupts a character’s speech. When a character cuts himself off, stutters, or generally creates a period of silence without extreme abruptness, the ellipsis is used.]
"Stick it where the sun shineth not, Elrohir,"
[Funny, yet there’s something unavoidably awkward about sticking something from modern English vernacular into the language with which Tolkien’s characters speak. Oh well, still funny.]
His brothers had the grace to limit their hilarity to decorous sniggers, not outright shouts of amusement.
[I love the way that sentence flows, and it’s so descriptive as well.]
Part the Second: WAY Too Many Meetings...
Elladan and Elrohir had long since figured out that Baby Sister and her Ranger liked to snuggle there, and they saw it as their noblest duty to do what brothers have done since the dawn of time: disrupt the occasion whenever they thought they might get away with it.
[So truly spoken…]
They were smiling (seldom a good thing) and the glint of devilry was in their grey eyes (never a good thing!),
[I had to stop and reread that bit a second time – I immediately thought of a couple of…characters from my own childhood.]
"Mae-what-you-call-your-Govannen, dear and glorious neth ernil of Mirkwood!
[Normally I don’t mind Elvish, but after reading Inuyasha and other Japanese-language-origin stories I’ve become wary of seeing non-English jammed in with English, and this is one case where it looks a little awkward. Not quite what I would have sarcastically referred to as ‘obligatory Elvish’, but if you’re going to have speech in Elvish, you might as well go as far as possible (though I acknowledge vocabulary is a significant stumbling block, I’ve tried a fair bit of Quenya myself and saying what needs to be said can be difficult).]
one dark eyebrow curving upward happily at the thought.
[Blondes don’t tend to have dark eyebrows, and I don’t recall reading any time in the trilogy in which he is described as having such.]
"Not-the Ring. The One Ring? A perian has it?"
[Most of the time, people have difficulty showing the exceptional range of emphatic exclamation that people can voice, but you have done so excellently here.]
while on Legolas it just made one think of kittens with their backs up in the face of very large and unruly badgers. Elladan snickered.
[The only response one can have to such a look, I’m sure.]
"I have a Plan," he announced, in such a way that the sons of Elrond could actually hear the capital letter.
[Literary comedy rarely seen.]
they're just drawn that way.
[Born that way?]
Part the Third: The Plan Goes South
Save for the curious sound of a certain creature swallowing curiously?"
[I’m not sure if it’s intentional, but you repeat ‘curious’ twice in too close proximity.]
[Normally I am wary and opposed to the inclusion of a non-English language into an English-language fic, but this was done tastefully and very lightly, making sense everywhere Elvish was used. And the presence of your translations here to explain all of the non-English words removes the last of my potential objections and leaves only a sense of pleased completion.]
Part the Fourth: A Journey in the Dark
Elrohir responded with a suggestion that his brother attempt to fold himself into a position Elladan was certain could not actually be accomplished, and place his head in an orifice where it was not, so far as Elladan could figure, supposed to be placed.
[This was a slightly over-described segment that drew laughter and reminded me of “My Lord, Thy Blood Pressure!”]
From-time to time."
[This seems to me to form a single contiguous sentence, and so I think the hyphen is out of place and unnecessary.]
In that second the Twins cordially hated him,
[That was so amusingly well-placed.]
"Do carry on then with your-tracking.
[It looks like an ellipsis (…) indicating a character trailing off would be better fitting than the extended hyphen which typically indicates an abrupt halt usually caused by external interruption.]
Gimli Glóinsson had one last parting salvo:
[Gloin’s son? Or is that intentionally packed together?]
there were still tales told in the guard houses of the son passing himself verbally off as the father to amusing results.
[And the chaos that undoubtably resulted brings a smile to my face. That was well-captured.]
[Again I have to recommend the ellipsis over extended hyphen.]
Though-perhaps I was mistaken."
[And again, same thing.]
He gave a decorous shudder. "Unsupervised!"
[Drew more sniggers.]
Scruff Factor, Part the Fifth: The Counsel of Elrohir
-Arwen burstinto a torrent of giggles;
[Missing spacing between “burst” and “into”, looks like the evil of QuickEdit.]
"And not bother to find out what that one-sixteenth Moriquendi lunatic of an archer has done with poor Estel?"
[For some of those not as well versed in the Tolkien world, it might be of use to define ‘Moriquendi’ at the end of the chapter. _I_ know they’re elves who didn’t see the twin trees, but I stop by on a semiweekly basis and had to look it up there to remind myself.]
"Nothing of the sort. Estel is very capable—
[Missing closing quote mark.]
"I do not know why I bother to give counsel, when none will ever receive it!"
[‘tis a mystery.]
"You have my permission to stop now," Aragorn retorted.
[Words well spoken, and repeated by many throughout history.]
"You misbegotten son of an Orc's nightmare encounter with a Warg!"
[Words so funny, I feel the need to quote them. Do you mind?]
[I quite enjoy the fact that you include these in each chapter. A linguist by hobby, it’s something that incites glee when I see translation notes or anything the like.]
This entire story was thoroughly enjoyable. Comedic and excellently written, full of quotable lines (particularly the one about the warg).
God bless and happy writing,
| poison blossom chapter 7 . 5/30/2007
Absolutely loved this, well-written and hilarious, with impressive attention to detail too. Thankyou for making me laugh so much!
Pb : )
| Konoko89 chapter 7 . 5/8/2007
Okay, this was awesome, entertaining, hilarious, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Good job! I love your attention to detail when describing the wardrobes. Legolas is a sexy elf neh? My favorite .. delicious ... and I love how much attention you gave to him and brought to him and his beauty. sigh ... this is going in my favs!
| Nelarun chapter 7 . 1/26/2007
I laughed the entire way through. Well done on such a funny story!
| mar-isu chapter 7 . 11/14/2006
Still laughing a while later. Good job.
| mar-isu chapter 2 . 11/14/2006
Do I detect a note of Legolas mockery in this? I'm busting my sides laughing, good work so far.
| Tam Breo chapter 3 . 10/3/2006
Augh great story! Great work! I wish I weren't going to class so I could finish all of it now. But I'll definitely finish reading it later. I love how you portray elvish humor. 3
| sielge chapter 7 . 9/30/2006
I enjoyed very much this one!
| Kalisona chapter 7 . 7/21/2006
I enjoyed that so much! Are you planning on writing more? I think you did the twins extremely well! )
| nice chapter 7 . 6/22/2006
that was good! mind writing a sequel?