Reviews for A Fledgling Chance
Dimensionbreak21 chapter 1 . 1/20
I have to say your story is one my favorites for this series. I love the way you keep them in character, which I think is hard to do. I like how you progress the story in a realistic kind of way. Also, I can't get enough of the Dave/Mindy goodness! Keep up the fantastic work and hope to hear from you soon.
thedarkerknight chapter 15 . 1/7
I love this. Your writing of Mindy is spot on, and I like the way you portrayed the Motherf- Chris as well.
Guest chapter 4 . 11/23/2014
Great story keep it coming
Nadoxx chapter 15 . 11/10/2014
Nice update!
The Not-So-Ultimate Writer chapter 15 . 11/10/2014
That is a pretty accurate way to describe how school is. It makes me nostalgic, remembering how hard it was for me to find new friends. I can't wait for the next chapter.
NJHarris chapter 15 . 11/10/2014
I must admit I was a tad skeptical about Mindy going out with Carolyn and her daughter, especially when she suggested they go shopping to Damon. As we know, Mindy isn't always the best when it comes to social situations with people her own age. Plus the fact she's been having trouble at school with your typical queen bee bullshit some kids have to unfortunately face, I couldn't image her hopes of meeting someone new were particularly all there. But thank the Lord you proved me wrong! Big time!
For Mindy to spend the day enjoying herself with someone new, to in fact feel hopeful about her ability to make friends, was absolutely fantastic! This is exactly what she needs now she's becoming a regular citizen in society. For it all to backfire though, was just so fucking heartbreaking! No matter how hard Mindy tries, even getting a new idea of a more "normal" wardrobe, it just gets thrown back in her face.
Of all the things Mindy's done in her young life, this is by far one of the hardest things she's ever come up against; a bully. Though a high school bully might be nothing compared to the kind of scum she's taken on before, they're a completely different beast. Bullies are an unfortunate and unnecessary part of life, a life Mindy still has yet to become fully comfortable being a part of. This is possibly one of the key parts of Mindy's life behind the mask. By keeping her difficulty in handling the bullies in this story, you're proving how important it is to her development as a character. It's a part of life she's never experienced and must therefore overcome.
Even though I hate the idea of someone as incredibly strong as Mindy (in fact anyone putting up with bullies if I'm honest) having to deal with girls like the fucking-brunette-bitch, it's another step she must take to become stronger. But it's a step she should have to take on her own.
In the end, no matter what these bitches will ever do or say, Mindy is never alone. To prove this you added an undeniably wonderful part to this story; some Dave and Mindy gushiness as you called it. Which I'm sure most Kick Ass fanfic readers love to read. You're letting Mindy, and us, know just how lucky she really is. Dave allows her to come to the realisation she doesn't need to become a part of a large group of people her age. He's able to make her feel so much better by making her laugh and know he's there for her when she needs him, just like a best friend does. This lets her know that she only needs to find the right people, like Dave and Kelsey. The great thing being is she already has a friend in them. They're the people she needs and through them, I imagine she'll meet the right people.
Another great chapter Xta! As always!
shaqfu chapter 15 . 11/9/2014
I liked the shopping scene at the beginning of this chapter. It was also a nice touch how you integrated that scene where "Debbie" puts down Mindy's new look from the comics. The scene between Mindy and Dave was also great. Are you going to be coming up with a way for Dave and Mindy to explain their friendship publicly now?
Makokam chapter 15 . 11/9/2014
I think that I don't think you can get marshmellows at a place like. Whipped cream sure, but not marshmellows... or maybe you can...
Anyway.

I think this was probably your best chapter. If not your best, then definitely top five.

And I set aside everything I'm supposed to be doing to read this. Unlike all the other fics sitting in my inbox.

Makokam out.
Makokam chapter 14 . 10/25/2014
You missed a great opportunity to have Dave go, "wait, what about a knife?"

Also, I didn't mind the period rant. It amused me.
It reminded me of my theory relating the attributed to females trait of fastidiousness to the menstral cycle.

Kinda interested to see how Mindy relates to Dave now that her sex drive has engaged.

Dave's nightmares and his decision to go to Mindy, and then Damon, was interesting. I liked Damon's answer. Seems fairly effective. And Damon like. I look forward to where this goes even more now.

Makokam out.
Upon a Pale Horse chapter 14 . 10/25/2014
A great chapter. The kind that gets you excited for future ones. :)
The Not-So-Ultimate Writer chapter 14 . 10/25/2014
That sounds pretty much like something Mindy would do. And I'm surprised that Dave didn't question the knife thing. But I question what she hit... and if she was aiming for it.
ufc91 chapter 14 . 10/24/2014
I really enjoyed both POVs this chapter. Mindy's musings are great!
shaqfu chapter 14 . 10/24/2014
Mindy going on a first period induced rampage was awesome. She should change her superhero name to rag woman! I loved how even Damon was afraid of her. I was a dissapointed that the little blood angel didn't answer the door for Dave. Then again she probably would have killed him, raped him, and eaten his f*cking costume.
NJHarris chapter 14 . 10/24/2014
I think it goes without saying, the entire section of this chapter from Mindy's perspective is absolutely hilarious! As a male, I of course cannot connect with Mindy (or women in general) when it comes to having their period; only the whole "Boners" thing. But to be honest I think that's what I loved about it.
When reading from Mindy's perspective you're giving us access to all of her thoughts and experiences, allowing us to experience them as she (well, you) tells us. So as someone who will never experience the "time of the month", it's great to read about it from someone who had yet to experience it up until now.
Her reaction to the idea of bleeding for a whole week every month, at least in my opinion, perfectly captures the attitude with which Mindy would likely handle the situation. This is something she had not only never experienced, but clearly never been told about it, this new development in her life frightened her a little. But upon finding out about it, it's now a part of her life he must now adjust to. Which is something she's been doing for some time now, especially when considering her Father is in a wheelchair and they're both living with Marcus. You've thrown in another important event into Mindy's life that needs to happen.
Just as you wrote here "my period makes me a woman now". Mindy's growing up. Her life with her Father has changed. Now she's been given time to grow and be the teenager she deserves to be. Unfortunately that also means being on her period.
Threatening to cut Marcus' dick off, and get away with saying it! Her Father, Big Daddy, looking on in complete surprise! Fantastic!
Dave's section, just as great! I think my favourite aspect to it was how you incorporated the Damon mindset from "The Undead Files". By that of course I mean how he perceives Dave, and is far more willing to train him. This side to Damon is what I really like about both of your stories, because it's something new and a fantastic develemwmt for his character. The idea of him seeing potential in Dave, especially after killing D'Amico and saving Mindy, shows the faith he has in him. He no longer sees a wannabe hero in a green wetsuits, but his daughters saviour, her first friend. He sees the hero that may very well dwell beneath. The hero he knows he can be, with a little help of course.
Even though Dave holds some reluctance to get back into costume, through a mixture of his nightmares and Katie, he is still Kick Ass. He may see the suit as a target for criminals, but that's who he is. He went out trying to make a difference, and succeeded. He took down Frank D'Amico. What an accomplishment! How could he ever turn his back on what could possibly the greatest, dumbest, most courageous thing he will ever do in his life? He can't. He is Kick Ass.
Another fantastic chapter Xta! As always!
Nadoxx chapter 14 . 10/24/2014
Nice update!
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