|Reviews for Spiraling|
| Meliodas chapter 1 . 9/1/2014
You're a brilliant writer.
You should read One piece and do some Luffy/Nami stories.
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/19/2014
I hope your not abandoning this story! I love it, please update!
| NerdsRule chapter 1 . 6/22/2014
I was hooked after the summary.
| smashbangfusion chapter 2 . 6/5/2014
Wow. I mean, this chapter was sweet, fun, humorous, and dramatically tense at just the right moments.
I am thoroughly enjoying the way Videl is being portrayed, with a nice balance of proud but more sensitive than people would assume, and much more mature than a number of writers give her credit.
I'm also enjoying Gohan's portrayal. The way you differentiate his Saiyaman persona and the real Gohan behind the shades deserves praise. I can tell how he acts and says things in a different way as Saiyaman, but he is still as honest and straightforward as Gohan should be. His conflicting feelings about patience with Videl and coming forward to talk to her about "them" also makes him that much more sympathetic and less like the "perfect guy" stereotype.
I'm glad you've made it through the semester (though I heard you're going into summer classes and I know that feeling) and I look forward to the next chapter whenever it comes!
| miss-apple-dbz chapter 2 . 6/1/2014
Wow, this was so, *so* good! I think this was the best story that I've read for how Saiyaman 2 came about! The plot for it was perfect. Most of the ones I've read rarely goes beyond the fun aspect of it, but this one included personal motivations and dreams, and you already know how much I love exploring those.
Thank you so much for the mention at the end! I'm really grateful!
| dcp1992 chapter 2 . 5/29/2014
This is a great story! I love the plot so far and also how Gohan and Videl act together, not to mention I love Videl's personality. Also I've never seen someone use the fact she lost In the tournament as a downfall to her job with the police, so that is an original idea I like. Glad to see they took the plunge to be together, can't wait to see how this story pans out. Update soon!
| benihime chapter 2 . 5/24/2014
Wow! I really loved it! I like how you wrote Videl. She really sees the pros and cons of being with Gohan and how her loss to Spopvich really affected her. And all the fluffies at the end gave my stomach butterflies! Please update soon!
| Dyton chapter 2 . 5/24/2014
Holy s*** that was amazing. I remember reading this story when it came out and thinking 'well it's Gohan/Videl story might as well read it since I don't have much to do' but damn this chapter was so awesome. The internal struggle Videl has herself after the events of WMAT and how that has changed her perspective. Now I can't wait for the next part.
| dbz4eva chapter 1 . 5/13/2014
Great job! I really am liking this so far! Please update soon!
| smashbangfusion chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
Pretty good start! I just happened to be perusing the latest DBZ stories and happened upon this one since I recognized your name! Haha. Anyway, I enjoyed Chi-Chi's knowing manipulation of her son. How devious! And then, there was, of course, her "no dessert" comment at the end of that bit. I admit - I chuckled.
Just a few last comments: There are some spelling errors and a few weird word-choices here and there, but it doesn't take away from the story. These days, it's perfectly acceptable to use "who" in place of "whom," but some people still like to make the distinction of subject ("who") and object ("whom"). Make sure that, if you are going to use "whom," it doesn't come off as awkward. But, like I said, it's nothing that takes away from the actual story. I know I benefit from reading and rereading my own chapters even after I publish them online so that I can pick apart where it seems awkward and replace/update whenever I can.
All of the characters seem to have the right kind of voice, and it really feels like this sort of thing could have happened in the canon series. Looking forward to what comes next!
| Lynn chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
Great story :)
| Bonfire Heart chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
I love this ! Your writing is flawless . Keep it up and update soon, i can 't wait to see what will happen next .
| dbzfan777 chapter 1 . 2/22/2014
i love the starting to your story, i cant wait to see what in store for gohan and videl.