|Reviews for The Dolor Mortis Curse|
| Happylittleaddic chapter 17 . 8/19/2016
This was incredibly written! A few grammatical errors or misused words but nothing major and I cannot complain as I cannot even write this well and it would be riddled with grammatical errors. I loved this so much! It hit so close to home at times and really was fantastic I think you did a fantasitic job getting your ideas across I rarely ever felt confused about what you were trying to do with the story.
| TheHyruleHistorian chapter 3 . 11/10/2015
This chapter, I would say, is the longest I have read so far, but also very worthwhile. Getting to learn about Renado's wife and the way that Kakariko Village was attacked, and seeing Midna try to defend Renado's wife at the last moment, it all seemed just perfect.
I still find myself smiling in awe at your beautiful descriptions, especially the land under the setting sun and the feeling of the breeze blowing through the town...it's as if I was there myself.
I think that the whole scene with Renado initially reacting in anger over Midna's identity, then becoming overwhelmed with grief and sorrow and begging for her forgiveness, makes perfect sense and seems really realistic. Renado is a great character, and I love how you expanded upon his past a little more and really fleshed out his story and the story of the invasion of Kakariko Village.
Also, the scenes showing Midna's happiness at showing gratitude for the first times really added something to this. It brought a much needed brief break from the seriousness of the story, yet still not coming off as out of place. That was beautiful.
The only thing I can think of here to nitpick on is actually nothing to do with your story itself, but just a few errors I found while reading.
First of all, I was wondering if you'd meant for Midna to ask, "What about Epona?", as opposed to "What's with Epona?" which gives the sense that something is wrong with the horse or she's acting weird.
Other than that, I simply found a few misspells like where you wrote that Midna rubbed the skin around her cuts in a "vein attempt" to ease the pain, which should have been "vain" instead. Also, at one point a paragraph ended up broken in two. Other than that, perfect chapter. None of this really took away from the overall feeling of the story, so I'm giving this a 10/10 rating anyway.
| TheHyruleHistorian chapter 2 . 11/10/2015
10/10 Once again for this chapter. I honestly feel so bad for poor Midna here...she's trying so hard to protect and save his life, but she knows how dangerously close to death Link is. And poor Link! Things just seem to keep getting worse for him... Epona's determination to protect her master is really touching, and I especially loved how she let herself fall in order to save him. That was so adorable!
Once again, your descriptiveness really shows; I love how you took the time to pay attention to the fact that Midna's fingers were so small compared to Link's, and she would realistically have trouble playing Epons's Song on his Horsecall. That's something that I rarely expect to find in a story. It being there makes it just that much more real.
The last lines really just bring the chapter to a close beautifully; Link didn't give up, so Midna will have to be strong for him in return.
Once again, you've got me wanting to read this story from beginning to end and never stop. Great chapter!
| TheHyruleHistorian chapter 1 . 11/10/2015
...Wow. For the first time in a long while, I'm actually speechless. Completely speechless. This was...just...wow. I don't even know what to say anymore. Normally, I'm always up for giving a long review, but with this, I just...don't know what I can write to properly express how you made me feel inside while I was reading this chapter.
Now, I'm not just saying this to be nice. I'm not saying it just to make you feel better about an old story you wrote, I'm saying it because it's true. This is how I feel right now, reading this chapter - this beautiful, amazing first chapter; I am literally speechless.
You made me cry. Everything that happened in this story, every time that Link was pulled back down into the darkness, every pain he felt and every hopeless moment he endured, you made me feel that struggle. You made me feel that hopelessness so much that I could barely take a normal breath - actually, I couldn't at all. I kept taking ragged breaths the whole time I was reading this, I felt panicked and desperate inside for it to end with him alive. My heart was literally breaking alongside Midna's.
I'm going to be straight up with you here - I am not in any sense a MidLink shipper. ZeLink/HyLink is the heart and soul of my writing and its meaning, and yet, you really pulled me into this story. If for no other purpose, I adore the pairing you've included here only because of how well this was written and how genuine you made it feel. In your stories, you make it right. You make it beautiful.
This is what Fanfiction should always be, in my mind. This is the type of beauty and glory that Fanfiction should entail and embody. Stories like yours are literally the heart and soul of this site - the reason that it is running, the reason why people like me keep coming back. You represent the best part of the Zelda fanbase, and the best part of fanfiction writers as a whole.
You are talented, you are smart, you are descriptive, and passionate about what you do. You are as good as any writer - be it small-time or professional - that I have ever seen. Both you and this story are now going on my Favorites list. You are amazing, and I can never stress that enough. Never stop writing, never lose your own unique writing style, and never ever delete this story from this site. Whether you see it or not, it is beautiful, and you are a beautiful writer. Keep doing what you love.
10/10 for this. Seriously. On to the next chapter!
| RavenOverlord chapter 17 . 5/19/2015
Great chapter! Lots of secondary character driven dialogue which I feel adds a nice touch of realism. A little cheesy at the end, but hey, after all of that I think everyone deserves some cheese. :)
Very glad you did not use the Master Sword or some crazy solution. Better to use what you have, because as Midna says "they would not have given me the light if it could not heal him".
Looking forward to the aftermath of this. :)
| Guest chapter 17 . 5/11/2015
Realistic. . Yeah right
| navydivea chapter 17 . 5/9/2015
To be honest I was expecting the master sword to come back into play since the curse moved from being darkness to having an actual evil will behind it. Great chapter though and look forward to more.
| Hallfrune chapter 17 . 5/6/2015
Incredible, I'm glad that the curse is over!
It was an intense episode, a tornado of emotions and with the right soundtrack my mind just exploded.
I'm looking forward your updates, especially the novel :-)
| danadanaBATMAN chapter 17 . 5/5/2015
Dammmmmm that was intense
| EquinoxWolf chapter 17 . 5/5/2015
Hooray! The curse is gone! :D This was an excellent chapter. It was well worth the wait.
| Arison Nakaru chapter 17 . 5/5/2015
That was great! Can wait to see the final!
| RavenOverlord chapter 16 . 4/11/2015
Overall the story arc and dialogue has been done pretty well, though there are mistakes with English idiom throughout, it is fairly easy to understand the intention. *minor spoiler*My personal favorite part of the story is when Beth gives Link too much morphine. The way you wrote the logic of the children I felt was spot on and the tragedy felt completely natural.
The constant punishment of Link is something I haven't see any other TP story do. At least not harshly and for this long. It is interesting to read how he and others deal with such a terrible wound and curse.
Regarding the last few chapters, I do like the bickering and arguments between the characters. In a stressful time it is common for friends to turn on each other and fight for the stupidest reasons. Though they know they are being unreasonable, they can't help but attempt to relieve the stress they feel by taking it out on something they can control. That being said, I do feel as if the dialogue is a little forced on occasion.
When Link hurt himself for the first time, I felt it was too fast, and should have been a bit slower. Like maybe the curse tells him to do something simple and the voices will get quieter, like standing up. Then walking. Walking to a specific point. Picking up objects. Maybe redress his wounds (this would cause him pain, and is ultimately unnecessary because the bandages are clean, but it conditions him to cause himself pain to quiet the voices down and avoid the pain of his wound. Link would agree to this because he figures it can't cause him permanent harm to just replace the already clean bandages). At this point Link might finally be so conditioned to the curse that he is far more willing to go along with making some small cuts on his wrist to quiet the voices. Eventually making the cuts bigger and bigger as the voices continue to go away. Like an itch that you scratch a little and then give into and start tearing at.
I do not like Midna lying to Link about how close they were to a cure. After her talk to Link about him trusting her, it feels a little glossed over that Midna has no issue betraying Link's trust and lying (even if only through omission) about the cure.
And why was everyone confused about the mirror in Link's room? They know he hallucinates, the answer as to what he saw should be obvious.
And as for the last chapter I think you did the horror pretty well. In my opinion there is nothing as terrifying as all those who love you turning against you, and consequently you hurting all those you love. Though to make the odd actions and sudden betrayal of everyone a bit more believable I feel there should have been more emphasis on Link being in a completely deluded and exhausted state.
| Heartless demon wolf chapter 16 . 2/8/2015
It's hard to go into such a dark, depressing state for characters you love, I can do it naturally but that's because I'm a serious and dark type of person but the important thing is you're entering into a world you may be unfamiliar in and I'm proud of you for doing all you can.
People don't want to accept reality, that's what fiction is for, personally I like seeing realism in a story, it shows not everything has a happy ending, then again I'm not everyone. It's dark, gritty and dreadful but you'll get through it, just keeping moving forward, out of the dark into the light...though I prefer the dark myself lol.
Won't be long, now you can entering into hopefully the brighter side of the story and be free of this darkness at last, but I love this chapter.
| Aura Spirit chapter 16 . 2/8/2015
That was so dark. I mean, dark to a point where it was almost unenjoyable. I've read some prett dark stuff before, like The Shining and The Demonata, but... Jeez.
I hope the next chapter is slightly less... Extreme. Story's still good though, even if its been soaked in blood this time round.
| Arison Nakaru chapter 16 . 2/8/2015
I'm going to guess he has to drink the tears this time, and possibly something to do with the Master Sword as well.