|Reviews for Recultivation Project|
| UberDuper chapter 1 . 2/14
Hey there! I dunno if it sounds strange or anything, but I just wanted to thank you for honestly critiquing my story. Not sure if you'll look at this 'response review' (its much harder to communicate here on FF imo, one of the reasons I switched over to AO3 and Tumblr for my writing stuff), but I figured there's a chance you might, so I just wanted to sincerely thank you for bringing up some points.
I know there's no real 'excuse' I can use, other than the fact that I was a starstruck 14 year old that wanted to write a fic with different murders. I have, however, recently begun writing this story up again. I was reading it over the other day and, in all honesty, saw this as a poor execution of an interesting idea.
So yeah, I just wanted to thank you for this very well timed review. It'll definitely give me something to keep in mind when I get to the parts that you've addressed. In all honesty, I hope I'll be able to do something that does the characters justice, and I definitely think that this'll help me do that. Thanks for the review!
| Guest chapter 24 . 2/12
While this is obviously long moot as this is where the story stops, I'd like to offer some thoughts if that's okay.
Overall, the initial concept of characters remembering and not being despair entering the simulation is solid. I actually feel it was more than grounded enough for a story on its own, and for the first act, initially things seemed to be progressing fairly well.
Unfortunately, thus far, the story seems to have taken a turn into an AU that still largely reflects the original story.
With his memories, Gundam should theoretically remember being Souda's classmate, amd so his attitude towards the boy seems unreasonable. Sneering at the memorial picture seems... harsh. He did commit murder, yes, but by this point he knows all of them are capable of murder far worse than what was seen in the story. That he would so quickly turn on Souda with all this taken into account, especially given why he agreed to this in the first place, makes Gundam's character somewhat questionable.
What's more, it doesn't take Gundam's own ideals regarding this topic into account, which we learn in Chapter 4 of the game.
There is also a very sorely missed opportunity to do more with your Hinata/Izuru plot, yet thus far, all it leaves us with is Komaeda and Hinata essentially just swapping roles. It's disappointing to see when Hinata's now walking around wildly out of character and the cast just reinforcing that.
For that matter, the imposter's treatment of him goes against his character as well. Much of the time, he's acting more like the real Togami rather that the imposter, which defeats much of the character. His total disregard for Hinata in the second trial chapter, and arguably his going along with tying him up in the first place, strike me as very unlike him. Same with him taking issue with Nidai mourning Akane, and even more so with his continued disregard for Hinata as a person later on, seemingly only as a means to get to Izuru more recently.
Even in the game, the cast were able to converse with Komaeda. Hinata, in your original scenario, is a victim of circumstances far beyond his understanding or control, yet this is strangely glossed over. Considering the primary three cast members know at least what despair can do, one would think they would try to intervene if they've accepted "Izuru's" story, as Gundam seems to have.
That said, using Izuru to add in the Komaeda role was, in and of itself, a bit of an easy out, I think. It also robs us of Hinata even more.
This story has a lot of potential and great original ideas, and it's a shame to see it was prematurely halted, but I did want to comment on these aspects all the same.
| Cyberchao X chapter 24 . 12/26/2014
It's pretty obvious where they got the spores from... and since it's the hospital, Tsumiki's still a prime candidate to be the murderer, even though so far nothing's gone the way it did in the game.
| Cyberchao X chapter 23 . 12/26/2014
Wow. Now this is interesting. The protagonist is among those infected? And given that Tsumiki was the one who woke up in Hinata's bed in the game, I'm very concerned about Mioda right now...
| Cyberchao X chapter 21 . 12/26/2014
Uh-oh...the Despair disease. Going to be interesting to see how this changes
| Cyberchao X chapter 20 . 12/26/2014
Oh, I get it now! Rather than merely killing her, as he intended to do in the actual game (but Peko beat him to it), Kuzuryuu decided to try to FRAME Koizumi!
| Cyberchao X chapter 18 . 12/26/2014
... Okay I'm stumped. That "motive" shouldn't have led to those two being attacked.
| Cyberchao X chapter 16 . 12/26/2014
As I thought. Gundam has taken over Hinata's role as protagonist, with all the potentially harem-like qualities that affords.
| Cyberchao X chapter 12 . 12/25/2014
I donno, it made perfect sense to me. I figured it out pretty quickly. Nicely done, airing is that everything will change... well, a lot of things. If Monobear still gives the same motives in the same order, Koizumi's probably still the next to die, with Kuzuryuu doing it himself this time.
| Cyberchao X chapter 11 . 12/25/2014
Oh, right, the bodies distracted me from my other observation last chapter, namely that with Komaeda a Future Foundation mole, the excess conflict is being provided by Kamukura actually being able to take control of Hinata at times. Interesting twist.
| Cyberchao X chapter 10 . 12/25/2014
...Well. I really didn't expect that to happen. Two bodies right away? And seemingly no one that could be the culprit...
| Cyberchao X chapter 9 . 12/25/2014
Magnificent. Though it creates a strange duality, Monobear saying there's one too many and then hinting at four traitors.
| Cyberchao X chapter 8 . 12/25/2014
Ack! Earlier I wondered about the possibility of our three moles outliving their original death dates, but I completely forgot that Komaeda was the driving force behind Chapter 1's murder as well! This changes the entire dynamic...
| Cyberchao X chapter 6 . 12/24/2014
Ah...is this how they survived?
| Cyberchao X chapter 5 . 12/24/2014
This should get interesting. I wonder if the new moles will get to survive beyond their initial stays? Well, Komaeda obviously will because his death was an elaborate gambit to draw out the mole. Gundam and Hiyoko are a bit trickier. Hiyoko was just unlucky to be in the wrong place at the wrong time...It's possible that having her memories will be sufficient to keep her away from the stage. And Gundam was a killer...I doubt that'll fly if he sticks to the plan.