|Reviews for Burden of the Hourglass|
| my 2 guys chapter 12 . 2/6
that was good keep the chapters coming
| DannyPhantom619 chapter 12 . 8/10/2015
| The Akatsuki's Butler chapter 12 . 8/5/2015
Please update soon!
Anyways this story is very well written, no grand grammar mistake and if their are I'm not really paying attention to them
The way you portray the characters is also very good even though not much of them is revealed in the Anime/Manga
| LL chapter 12 . 7/5/2015
I llok forward to reading this to the end
Good story by the way
| The 10th Wand chapter 4 . 5/7/2015
yeah I always thought she was recruited after the exams because her obsession with Sasuke happened because of the exams. interestingly enough my spell checker is confusing sasuke for sapsucker XD
| Windninja1000 chapter 12 . 2/27/2015
Great chapter, can't wait till the next chapter! :D
| Diaspared chapter 12 . 1/24/2015
Isn't Fu basically Naruto's age? Not that I care all that much, I'm just a bit unsure of why you aged her up...if you even did. Bit hazy on the specifics.
Also wondering if this is a gen fic, because I'm not reading Yaoi.
| dilbag36 chapter 12 . 1/24/2015
Very good time travel the same as many other time travel stories chose like go back in time some do something some. choose not to do anything different that kind of thing is boring. your story has a thrill reader do not know what will happen in next chapter. do update new chapters.
| 9tail chapter 12 . 12/29/2014
can't wait for the next chapter. will itachi join their little group? will kakashi get the full story and sorta yet not become an ally. will naruto start the his clan name again and sort of make his own hidden village to become hokaga. i can't wait to find out.
| Firedon chapter 5 . 12/24/2014
Seems nice so far, although the end with Karin was pretty rushed.
| Slicerness chapter 5 . 12/5/2014
Naruto proves himself to be an absolutely ruthless fighter here. I like that, it's a nice change of pace. Granted I really think Naruto should be showing more fatigue than he does right now, because he should still be fairly weak, but still, good combat.
The bonding with Karin was also oddly quick, and because of it it lacked the emotional impact I'm sure you were going for. It could probably use some expanding.
| Slicerness chapter 4 . 12/5/2014
The cameo with Karin was expected but a nice scene, though the Jounin just seemed like a creeper. No real evidence to back that up, maybe I'm just being overly genre savvy.
Naruto and Gaara's friendship continues to be slow but well crafted. I also like how you included the detail that Naruto should be better at sealing but couldn't learn the Uzumaki stuff because it was destroyed before he got it. Makes sense, and leaves things just vague enough to include other scrolls and techniques that were there before but Pein made unusable, if you so choose.
I feel the Plot is slowing down a bit, this chapter seemed a bit more fillery than any of the previous ones, but shit gets done and important things happen so I'm going to ignore that feeling as false.
| Slicerness chapter 3 . 12/5/2014
Naruto's... er, well I don't want to call it /seduction/ because that has some other implications, so we'll just call it recruitment, was pretty much perfect. It had to be slow, had to be just a little bit at a time, and that's exactly what it was. The fact that he sorta forgot about Aime is a bit of an issue though, unless she's still around and she has chakra stored for the long haul, so it wasn't so much he dispelled her, as she had been around - and was still around - for so long he'd just put it out of his mind and left it up to the clone on what to do. That's going to be an interesting set of memories to get one day, if that's the case.
Naruto's clone going to the temple doesn't quite make any sense, but the entire subplot was a great way to flesh out Kakashi's mental habits a bit, give a reason and method why shadow clones can stick around so long, and even showed that Naruto's Henge isn't infallible; that last one being incredibly important.
| Slicerness chapter 2 . 12/5/2014
That stuff I mentioned I needed to do? First step is fix my sleep schedule, which involves staying up for 48 hours so I'm not going to bed at 7AM and waking up at 2PM anymore. I'm rapidly approaching that point of being utterly useless due to tiredness, so I'm afraid this review will be a bit shorter than the first.
Naruto's ploy and disguise were very well handled. He really does have a gift for weaving a tale and playing a role (or two, or even three, in this case). The way the enemy nins were killed should have been a pretty big tip off something was off about the kids, but that Naruto realized this and made steps to explain it away was a very good idea on your part. That the Jounin didn't question it too hard because he'd just been attacked by his family, was made clear and was a nice show of how the characters are very much human; they make mistakes and get caught up in their own issues.
Nice to see Gaara appear too, even if only briefly. What I really liked though was Naruto gently nudging Kankuro towards his future path a bit earlier and giving Temari a few tips. I hope that means they'll be a bit more powerful than in canon, or maybe even result in Kankuro carrying around a sketch book to jot down ideas, while Temari would be less dependent on her fan. Little rocks in a pond making bigger ripples, and all that.
| Slicerness chapter 1 . 12/5/2014
Hey, Casey asked for a second opinion in reviewing this fic and since the summary grabbed my attention I accepted the offer. Initially I was going to review all the chapters at once when I reached the end of the fic, but some things have come up and I'll be pretty busy for the next little while, so I'll have to do this per chapter when I can, if you don't mind.
This chapter was good, it gave a good amount of detail while keeping the bulk a mystery; though if a single clone and a layered Henge made Naruto's coils protest enough to start aching I think the actual fight he had a few hours later should have left him exhausted and in quite a bit of pain. I realize the chapter, at least in regards to Naruto, ends right after the fight so there's no real chance to see this, but seeing as I'm actually making my way through chapter 3 right now, I can say it's not even mentioned in the next chapter when it picks back up again. Even if it's inconsequential, a line or two about the fatigue brought about from the fight, or even just a grimace in memory, would have went a long way in defining Naruto's current limits.
As for the action scene itself, it was well done and well paced, Naruto's pre-knowledge of the opponents was used perfectly, while not making him look like too much of a braggart or arrogant; he maintained his story just as he should have, and passed along the message he intended in the first place, as opposed to getting sentimental and making mistakes. Speaks well of his competency.
Oh, the fact that Naruto is able to just disconnect the people wearing his friend's faces from the people he sees playing in the playground now was a really refreshing touch. I mean that should probably come back to bite him later when he has some down time to really think, since he's repressing, but still, for the moment, it's a refreshing change from getting very emotional.
Also, I had the weirdest nitpick about the grammar in one specific part. There's a scene where Sarutobi is 'tempted to hit Danzo for such an offense', and all I could think was 'strike' would work SO much better in place of 'hit' and I literally had to take a break so my mind wouldn't become obsessed with it.