|Reviews for Simplicity|
| crossargon chapter 8 . 7/6
| Isodrink chapter 6 . 6/20
I'll stop my reading here.
In general I like your ideas of the story, of Jaunes past etc.
They speak of your large creativity and that's great, because these are interesting (in my eyes).
However, I'm really big on comprehensibility of characters and them being similar to the series.
That is not the case for Jaune though, since, as main character, you needed to change his background and behaviour and that's completely fine with me.
With Ozpin's behaviour however I do disagreee. I think of Ozpin as a too calm and collected person to break down crying because he remembers some of his mistakes while raising Jaune, ending in a love declaration.
It's not that I'd find it impossible for Ozpin he sees Jaune as his own son, I just think he would have stated it in a more calm/collected way.
With all the other characters it's ok. I do struggle to comprehend the actions of of the characters sometimes (I believe Weiss wouldn't give Jaune the time of day instead of reacting) but those are rather minor aspects.
I really like your humor in the fic. The scene in which Yang, Ruby, Pyrrha and the others make Jaune wear a dress was especially great.
Back to characters, let's talk about Jaune's combat prowess. Yes, he is a flawed character due to social ineptitude. However, it's one thing to simply play on his social ineptitude for humorous reasons (Him not realising that he's doing crazyly advanced stuff in the classroom for example) or to induce dramatic feelings, but it's completely another thing to actually throw him into situations in which his social ineptitude causes true and great problems for him in the present (I dunno, for example Pyrrha wanting to flirt with him, him being dense, her having a serious talk with him about how she feels and Jaune, being completely overwhelmed with the challenge of actually knowing his feelings or anything about romance, hurts her feelings. That causes a rift between them and some serious problems within the team, disharmony and all, which they tackle slowly over the time of the story to overcome them). The way you write it, it seems to make him a more loveable character instead of making live really difficult for him and truely causing problems.
Also, even with his social ineptitude which you try to use to even out his insane strength, I think it's too much for me. Stronger than anyone else on the team, okay, he's Ozpin's apprentice for a reason. Maybe even stronger than everyone in his class, no sweat. Stronger than basically everyone in his class combined and en par with the top hunters in the world as a first year however kind of creates a Son-Goku-problem around him. He is so insanely strong that everybody else starts to be unimportant. The antagonists that will be there for Jaune will have to be on such a strong level that Pyrrha and the others at best could serve as a 5 second delay for that kind of strength.
I really do believe your story would be more interesting if you would even that out more. Killing one death stalker alone after the initiation would still have been a pretty awesome fight and and still be an incredible feat for any first year at Beacon.
So far that's it from me, maybe I'll read further later on and drop my 2 cents about that, but so far that's it from me. My criticism being sad, what you wrote here is actually a really good fic. I'm just very sensitive when it comes to certain aspects of a story. I wish you the best of weeks and lots of creative output!
| Demon Lord Cashmere Snow chapter 19 . 5/8
Ozzy rules! Waiting on the next chapter with bated breath.
| Darkkon27 chapter 19 . 5/6
I really like the Ozpin is Bored omakes, keep doing them!
| HikariNoTenshi-San chapter 19 . 5/2
Wow. The omakes were freaking hilarious, lol.
The story is great too. xD
I have a question though. Shouldn't all that contact with their aura be calling out to Jaune's consciousness, even if just a little? I mean, Aura is something a person has because they have a Soul, right? So, like, every time Jaune absorbs their Aura or whatever, he's basically coming into contact with their Souls right? So wouldn't that help bring him out? Or does Ozpin need to step in because despite becoming quite close at six months of bonding, Ozpin's bond with Jaune is still the strongest? Does someone need to be mortally wounded for him to snap out of his autonomous comatose state? Like Ozpin?
I await the update! xD
| Paladin73 chapter 19 . 4/26
Please continue this story and dear god I think I passed out from laughing
| Mikaeru346 chapter 19 . 4/17
To imagine Jaune play Gundams and think that was adorable... Not really. I hope there was more Jaune and Weiss scene though.
| DarkElucidator chapter 19 . 4/12
GAH! I NEED MORE! MORE DAMMIT!
| DarkElucidator chapter 17 . 4/12
A-Team Montage moment for Sun huh? Didn't expect that.
| Guest chapter 19 . 4/4
Please continue this story
| Kaoru666 chapter 6 . 4/1
Damn it! Did you really have to make me cry as well
| Guest chapter 19 . 3/29
| Guest chapter 19 . 3/24
Please update this is so great
| Guest chapter 19 . 3/3
Oh great one, why do you not Update? Please, your loyal fans AWAIT!
| Guest chapter 19 . 12/21/2014
You know a few chapters in I thought, He cant be that innocent and gullible can he? The last two chapters proved me wrong. Very. Very. Wrong...