Reviews for Belonging
FrankySuperCyborg21 chapter 19 . 3/7
I really liked this story! Beautifully written.
Neveria chapter 19 . 2/2
That was a cute story, but does Elsa's job at Starbucks really pay enough to support two adults, a car, community college and gaming? If yes, I'll need to check if they're hiring around here, haha. ;-) Or is her scholarship like super freaking generous?
Leelan chapter 19 . 1/15
Loved the story! Thank you for sharing it with us!
Nathalie7 chapter 19 . 12/14/2014
The epilogue was a nice conclusion. Thank you for sharing your art of writing with us.
Nathalie7 chapter 18 . 12/14/2014
This was a really good chapter. I only saw one obvious flaw, "you are alive"... "I am alive" bit...she was in a coma for a whole month(of course she is alive)...the more appropriate thing to say would be, "you are awake". If Anna had flatlined and they had pronounced her dead...that is the only the only way that line would be appropriate. Oh, and the doctors would have also notified Elsa to contact them as soon as Anna is that Lil tidbit is also missing. And I thought Elsa parents died when she was 7 years old, not 6.

Yea...Anna is awake!
Nathalie7 chapter 17 . 12/14/2014
Overall the chapter was decent.
A few things of note though: when Shang calling "several" ambulances would not be accurate, he would contact dispatch with the number of casualties and relay their estimated injuries, then dispatch would relay the information to send out the number of ambulances and manpower that is needed to respond to the scene. As far as the paramedics or whoever delivering the shocks in the ambulance while it is driving, that is not a possibility at all ( I am medic...and unless things have changed that I am unaware of...then nope)...reason being is that it is not safe, a pot hole, speed bump, taking a curve too quickly, or any numerous possibilities could cause one of the Healthcare providers to accidentally shock some one else other than the intended patient.

I had also read too quickly, and completely missed that Anna darted in front of Elsa. If I didn't scroll back up to find Shang radioing the would have been lost. I am glad that I saw it...since bullets versus sword...ultimately Anna sacrificed herself for Anna...and that definitely added a big "good job" your way for squeezing in the original story line into your universe of this story.

The out of body part of this story was odd...but was nicely done.
Nathalie7 chapter 16 . 12/14/2014
Meh...I wasn't really feeling this chapter. The action was good...Hans was very puny in the whole story and maybe my hope of him being a big bad (when in fact he just a punk street urchin that had very little brain cells...makes me wonder about the competence of the police force).
Nathalie7 chapter 15 . 12/14/2014
Loved the violence...after all, it's a gangster story...these lovely ladies have been getting off too easily in a setting such as this. Of course I do not wish either of them any harm...but it would make zero sense for there to be no sort of retaliation for leaving a gang.
Nathalie7 chapter 14 . 12/14/2014
Well...this chapter was cute...the ending dealing with the police process is something I don't agree with in this story...but your A/N gives me hope that it wasn't all tied up prettily.
Nathalie7 chapter 13 . 12/14/2014
The chapter was cute...

I am a STV(startrek voyager)J/7 I am more about Boggs (7 of 9 aka Seven)than I would be of an Android, at least the Borg was previously a living species (human or otherwise) before being converted to machine/robotic. Having one of the sisters portraying Janeway (Anna) and Seven (Elsa) would definitely stretch your writing dimension.
Nathalie7 chapter 12 . 12/14/2014
I won't pretend to know anything about police procedure...but these are the things I found very very unrealistic: the cops letting anot admitted gang member out of their presence for an hour, especially not without an escort...another real glaringly horrible things going which you already had Anna bring up is to allow Anna to keep evidence (gun) and especially without a license, he only offered it to her to make her feel better in carrying an ILLEGAL concealed weapon...what the freak? No jail time nor community service, the story in this chapter has jumped from semi realistic to big time fairytale happily ever way in real life no matter how minor her crimes wre, would they be readily or easily swept under the rug like this. I do understand you as the writer brought up the unrealisticness of the story through Anna voicing her doubts...but in the meanwhile, you did not address the realisticness any where appropriately. And whilst the Royals are a bunch of punk kids...the beginning and throughout the story you have tried to hint at a somewhat sinister presence to the point where other gangs don't compete with them. I would more than likely not be able to write the story as well as you did...but this is my least favorite due to the fact that the entire cop scene was super wrong from start to finish procedural wise.
Nathalie7 chapter 11 . 12/14/2014
Man...Elsa is a little naive in the way she thinks this is going to go down with the cops/gang...not to mention this her studies in university. I liked the awkward tension that is between them, it is refreshingly real.
Nathalie7 chapter 10 . 12/14/2014
This has been the most heart warming and real chapter so far. I liked the interaction between Daniel and Anna...quite nice.
Nathalie7 chapter 9 . 12/14/2014
I am surprised no questions were asked pertaining to her injuries. I work as a medic in the military. One of the questions we ask is if the patient is safe, if the are experiencing any abuse, , Anna has experienced some type of abuse. The realism in chapter is also was a tad too fluffy at the hospital under the circumstances they were there for.
Nathalie7 chapter 8 . 12/14/2014
Very cute chapter.
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