|Reviews for Uzumaki and Iburi|
| Uzushiogakure chapter 1 . 11/15/2016
Definitely a first and I'm loving the story so far, but I'm guessing this is gonna go like canon with Orochimaru wiping that clan. And I hope your not planning to put the Uzumaki's in Konoha because I hate that village they don't deserve to have any Uzumaki's in their village, but then again I hate all the main five villages. Uzu no Kuni -Uzushiogakure no Sato is the homeland of the Uzumaki's and they should rebuild it or find some other location (that's not the "great" five or associated with them) and rebuild their home their. I do hope you plan to finish this story.
| my 2 guys chapter 1 . 2/8/2016
| Clay19 chapter 1 . 3/22/2015
i like this story.
| Kraftykidd chapter 1 . 3/16/2015
I like the story, and I think there are alotta ways you can go with this. Personally, if you continue it, I would prefer to see a femhaku pairing, as I don't see a lot of good ones of those. This is because I sense the yukimi will probably die, or something else sinister like that, for plot/climatic buildup. Also, I don't think you should give naruto chakra chains(saw the little notification in the summary). Rather, you should have him base a smoke jutsu/him controlling smoke to do the abilities of it. I also full heartedly support him getting to the point of control of his ability where he is able to partially phase parts of his body into smoke, accomplishing abit like tobi/obitos ability with kamui.
Keep up the good work and update!
| DragonPony022 chapter 1 . 10/30/2014
Oh this is a new idea. I am liking the smoke style combine with chakra chains and sealing... BEAST! lol. I am hoping this story isn't dead because it would be very interesting to see what will happen to the Iburi and if Naruto will take them and integrate them into the Uzumaki.
Hope to see more of this story soon.
| Zero Gawain chapter 1 . 9/3/2014
| pyro357 chapter 1 . 4/29/2014
| Tango Charlie chapter 1 . 4/11/2014
Awesome story bro. The Smoke Transformation is a really cool bloodline limit, almost as cool as the Hozuki Hydrification. Your writing is also very good, with only a few mistakes, but that will get better of you properly continue this story!
I just noticed one thing, you havent put Yukimi as one of the main characters, rather it is Honoka. I dont know whether its a mistake or not, but atleast add Yukimi.
There are a number of ways you can take this story forward. The survivors can move to Konoha, where the Yondaime must be inevitably alive. Kushina can meet him, and the rest is up to you! I also think that it will help your story if you give a sort of timeline or comparative age of Naruto in the next Chapter.
The reason I am saying that is because as of right now, its pretty confusing just what age Naruto is. Is he equal in age to Tenzo? Has Orochimaru just defected? Is his age equal to Itachi? It would be nice if you clarify such things in the future chapters [And if you dont know, Tenzo is Yamato, the Mokuton user]
I hope that the next chapter comes out soon.
| the master mooma chapter 1 . 4/9/2014
Im guessing that inspiration for this was taken from infamous second son if not then I sincerely suggest that you give it a look for future ideas I must say if it is inspired by second son the way you have combined the two without introducing a major new element to the naruto universe is very well done. Im looking forward to more
| Fox Boss chapter 1 . 3/30/2014
How about Naruto being an Uzumaki gives him and advanced version of the Smoke Transformation?
onepiece. wikia wiki/Moku_Moku_no_Mi
Also, he could be able to turn his smoke into chakra weapons, such as forming a 'rope' of smoke around the opponent and then changing into a chakra chain.
| Xsolrac98 chapter 1 . 3/29/2014
Hmm, we seem to think the same. Both of us are intersted on a smoke Naruto fic. I started my own fic of Naruto gaining smoke powers a few months ago, although mine is more aligned with Infamous Second Son. Haha. I look forward to seeing more of this. BTW im a big fan of yours
| ElementalMaster16 chapter 1 . 3/22/2014
somewhat interesting :)
PLEASE UPDATE SOON! (_)
| Dragonblaze66 chapter 1 . 3/19/2014
interesting 1 chap!
| Rixxell Stryfe chapter 1 . 3/17/2014
Interesting plot idea. I can only gather from what you have so far that Orochimaru will be paying the clan a visit, in which case I would love to see you take advantage of the Uzumaki clan's sensitivity to Emotions as shown by Karin, Naruto, and Mito in canon when Kushina is present at the meeting in the next chapter. Of course, this chapter alone doesn't really bring much in the way of foreshadowing other potential events to come, but based on the fact that the harem pairing in the summary involves Karin, Honoka, and Kushina(which I must say is automatically a top ranked story in my books being a Naru/Karin and Naru/Kushi shipper), I can only imagine that something dreadfully awful will be happening to the few remaining Iburi clan members outside of Yukimi that causes Naruto and Kushina to leave the clan.
That said, you open the way for some potentially interesting ideas for Naruto with Smoke Transformation. Of course I can totally see Naruto taking some inspiration off of Smoker from One Piece, but the story offers up even more interesting options then that. As it seems that Naruto is not the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki in this story, you can take Naruto's Kurama-enhanced Healing factor of canon and toss it out the window. You can still have the Healing factor, but instead of simply basing it on just Naruto's chakra stores you can take it a step further and have cigarettes, cigars or other smoke substances enhance his healing factor due in part to his Smoke Transformation abilities. Likewise, Naruto can use the Uchiha Clan's penchant for Fire Jutsu against them by letting them use fire jutsu after fire jutsu until the battlefield is covered in smoke allowing him to take advantage through any different means such as taking control of all the smoke around him to suffocate his foes from a distance, Smoke Clones based on an Elemental clone principle of not having much smarts(though considering you had Mito bring Kushina the Kyuubi and Tobirama was the creator of the Shadow Clone jutsu, maybe Mito bringing that along will allow Naruto to create smart and therefore independent Smoke Clones), or even something like Smoke Chains when wanting to hide the fact that he can use Chakra Chains.
Finally, I'm rather interested in what you plan to do with the Uzumaki when they are out on their own. It is well within reason that various villages would want to gain the last remnants of the Uzumaki clan to bolster their forces, all the moreso when considering that Kushina(or Naruto depending on what you do) is the Kyuubi jinchuuriki roaming as a free agent. Of course taking consideration of this latter fact, you must also make a means of ensuring Konoha wouldn't be slighted by Mito leaving Konoha, so therefore I think it may be in your best interest to have Fuu as a Konoha shinobi so that the Nanabi is in the hands of a Great Village. Anyway, I'd be rather interested to see you have the Uzumaki clan reside in a village other then Konoha, as this allows you greater freedom to run the plot in whatever way you wish. Besides if Orochimaru is going to be dirtying his hands with the Iburi clan, Naruto and the rest may find the thought of settling in Orochimaru's former village rather unsettling to say the least. Just for the love of god don't stick a Cursed Seal on Naruto, please:)
Anyway, thanks for the interesting story. I would love to see more in the near future so please keep up the good work and have a nice day:)
| renegadestarforce chapter 1 . 3/16/2014
this is a very creative idea