|Reviews for What the third child says|
| AyuTsukasa chapter 1 . 11/12/2014
You are a really amazing writer there's a few grammar errors and i wish it wasn't an open ending but other than that it's incredibly good.
| Awsomeangel chapter 1 . 11/4/2014
Very powerful... I hope Lui lives!
| aurora0914 chapter 1 . 10/1/2014
Wow. This was... Amazing. Great job. I loved it.
| Abashed anon chapter 1 . 8/11/2014
I really liked this story of yours, i think it depicted a diferent take on Len and Rin's relationship than most stories -at least the few I've read. It was more realistic, speacially Lui's feelings, normally the characters surrounding the twins are either revolted haters or highly understanding and even encouraging- basically, two-dimensional. What you did here was making the secondary character the center of the story and not the way Rin and Len internally cope with their feelings, which makes it refreshing.
The open ending did bugged me, though. I ended up liking Louie so much, I wanted to see how he ended up. But apart from that I think everything was great!
| Anime Crazed chapter 1 . 3/25/2014
I definitely wasn't expecting this in the Len/Rin archives (as mentioned) but I'm very glad I read this. It was very different and very well done. I loved how the story was told through Louie's eyes. I got a real sense of how he was feeling and you also managed to get across Rin and Len's feelings as well. Excellent! :D
| HayaaShigure-kun chapter 1 . 3/22/2014
Hai Author-san :)
I really,really love this story. The plot and the storyline are simply amazing! XD
I suggest that you make a 'happy' ending for Lui/Louie. For his siblings had comitted a 'sin' or so he thought.
In this story i think that Lui is the one that can't have a peaceful life because of his siblings 'doin
| Sack of Potatoes chapter 1 . 3/14/2014
Huge kudos for you. Like, honestly. I agree with Melon M. completely; this piece is something I wouldn't expect to find on fanfiction dot net in the Len x Rin archives. Considering the awkward, fluffy take on incest that is often prominent on this website, your fic is a refreshing change that I thoroughly enjoyed. The fact that it is written in the perspective of a person out of the relationship adds up to the pure excellence. The writing, although on rare occasions is incomprehensible, is overall enriching and I could not stop reading. Even when I stepped off my school bus. When I read from someone else's perspective from an event, it's just.. Really, really interesting. Like you don't know what the others are thinking; instead, you have a limited point of view that can only judge and wonder what's specifically going on in Rin and Len's thoughts. On a few moments, you did grant some description in Rin and Len's point of view, although brief, these parts are especially intriguing.
I love the subtle, yes, incestuous nature Len had demonstrated earlier on. Rin's was a bit less obvious, to me it seemed like she was the less bold one and buried such feelings until Len forced them out. (Preference-wise, I love the demanding, aggressive yet loving Len and a nervous, shy Rin.) Even though Rin behaved like she could actually stand up to Len and act superior, it's Len who seemed to have cornered her in the classroom. I assumed he confessed or did some sort of thing in that particular nature, and possibly tried to go farther in terms of... Affection? No, maybe lust. And then earlier on, Len when he kissed her in every other area besides where she was scraped is cute as heck - like he wanted to have an excuse to keep kissing her. Agh, so innocent! Almost. And then it transitions into something more suspicious, which Lui (Louie) gradually becomes.
Rin's signs, were, in my opinion a little bit less clear and I had to try to see her motives. Like, when she seemed angry that Len had stashes of porn - almost as though she was jealous in some way? And again when he wouldn't reach a DVD for her - because she wants Len to notice her/be obedient to her? Overall, she appears to be more of the hesitant type towards Len, which I obviously enjoyed every bit.
Lui's feelings are really realistic. In his perspective, if I were in it and I didn't realize Rin and Len were fictional characters both of whom I love and ship, I'd be feeling the same way. He isn't automatically, BLEGH I AM CALLING THE COPS, instead he dwells in his horror and kind of unconsciously wishes his older siblings would submit to the norm of society.
And the ending. Ahh. This is almost like predicting the ending of that one book about whether or not the guy gets a girl or is eaten by a lion, an open ending. I think Lui did tell. Rin and Len are separated, and Lui is consumed with guilt till he just cuts off his life because he ruined someone else's happiness for his own "selfishness".
My only real complaint is the making love scene. Envisioning it at first, I thought they were going slow - and then the text mentioned Len's pounding and my mind scrambled. Really, my only dislike. Other parts, basically the story and the concept itself - big thumbs up. I hope to see more of your fics!
This review is really long, I am so sorry, haha orz. Sorry for any possible typos, for the phone's keyboard does not like me.
| Melon Mousse chapter 1 . 3/13/2014
Kk, I actually feel bad right now. But overall,
This story is gold.
And I mean it literally.
First off, love the concept. This is probably one of the most unique perspectives for Rin and Len's incestuous relationship. Similar to that of The Start of Something Sinister, instead of the regular fluff people would write. You both decided to write the troubles and consequences of such relationships; however, you took it a step further and wrote this in the eyes of a sibling. Exploring an unusual theme that needs a better praise than just an 'awesome' or 'good job'.
It truly is such a shame that the people in this fandom are too young to understand the content in this piece.
A shot of melon mousse keeps the crazies coming,
(P.S. Like omg, i am soo sorry. I was supposed to write this like, one this thing was published. And then i got lazy and then when i checked back i was like 'OMFG why does this child not have like a kazillion likes' and then guilt got me here. And ja. If you wanna have a chat, PM me. Like seriously, I can never find humorous people these days.)
| Lizway chapter 1 . 3/12/2014
Asfdhlfjag absolutely LOVED IT
| g chapter 1 . 3/12/2014