|Reviews for Once Bitten, Twice Shy|
| ok meh chapter 2 . 8/4
its ok i guess, still WAY too strong
| ok to many ships chapter 1 . 8/4
its impossible to build that many ships for 2 reasons, one we will not have the man power in 60 years
two, we lack the resources, three, we lack the man power to be able to man that many if they are all over 1 km long so you messed up big time on ship size -_-
| KE12 chapter 19 . 7/28
Well i doubt your going to continue this but it was a good read so far.
| Guest chapter 19 . 6/19
Good story. Like how it shows people getting pumped up to fight and then suffer. Realistic!
| Guest chapter 19 . 4/13
A wonderful display of well written material.
Not too boring and yet not too Marie Sue.
A shame it hasn't been updated in a while.
| AyeJimmy123 chapter 19 . 2/13
| ARandomGuy24 chapter 3 . 1/28
Torture isn't a remotely reliable way of getting accurate information. If XCOM is competent they shouldn't be relying on it at all.
| Maersikai chapter 4 . 12/5/2016
After the last chapter I read the titles in the drop down box and got through all of five lines before I had to stop. You built up humanity entirely too much for Shanxi to actually fall in any believable manner.
Bad. *swats with rolledup newspaper* Bad Author.
| Maersikai chapter 3 . 12/5/2016
So reading this chapter I got to line break 4 and reading it got me confused. The Turian weapons, the dreadnaught slugs, wouldn't so a damn thing to the shields as we saw with the first encounter. Now you're saying they do? That contradicts itself, does humanity have defenses that negate the prothean-base weapons or don't they. You kinda shot yourself in the foot with this chapter overall. I can understand trying to build tension but the Turian's attack here doesn't make a damn bit of sense.
Outnumbering the Turians 10:1, humans have the tech advantage in every way, AND freaky-ass mind powers yet you still decided to drag the Turians though the plot grinder. The last bit before the end of chapter was entirely too close to a cliche, mustache-twirling, arrogant villianry and is terrible.
| Ibskib chapter 5 . 5/31/2016
The power levels feels pretty inconsistent, humanity's ships and weapons are at first described as being much better than the turians', but apparently the turians are now portrayed as being vastly superior. and all humanity's advantages are downplayed or ignored to the point of ridiculousness.
The author seems to be forgetting that disruptor rounds for ships doesn't exist, but instead in ME only disruptor torpedos are used, which has a limited range compared to capital ships, and the author doesn't allow humanity to have any protection against them, which makes no sense, if humans are so much better at cyberwarfare, then they should have many options to protect against missiles with targeting systems, not to mention point defense.
Another thing that doesn't make sense such is the explanation about reaction times, even if drones' programming is too simple that should in no way decrease their reaction time (it also seems like the author has forgotten that humanity is capable of creating AIs, so programming drones properly, or having them controlled by AI should be no problem), and for a turian ship to need 'hundreds of organics' should be pretty detrimental to their reaction time.
Nuclear weapons launched from a mass accelerator doesn't make sense, and it simply wasn't used like so in Mass Effect (nuclear weapons do not create plasma either), mass accelerators can have the destructive force of a nuclear weapon without the fallout, and with vastly cheaper ammunition, so there is not reason for any ships to be armed with them, nuclear weapons creating undirected explosions would also be less useful in space where there is no atmosphere to help transfer force and heat.
Also, biting of your tongue is in no way immediately fatal which completely destroys the SoD for that scene, not to mention that it seems Dr. Knives was holding the idiot ball by not having Saren gagged.
This is the biggest error in this chapter.
One last thing, please get a proofreader, I've noticed too many clumsy mistakes so far, especially in this chapter which is full of typos and mangled sentences.
| Ibskib chapter 3 . 5/31/2016
on route - en route
dive in to - dive into
| Ibskib chapter 2 . 5/31/2016
with an unknown means - with unknown means
vein - vain
afterwords - afterwards
| Artikuno chapter 19 . 5/11/2016
T'is surely a tragedy that thou hast not updated?
Just practising it, but update please? It's been over a year now.
No problems with the grammar or plot, though on a personal note I don't like you bashing the Quarians.
| Helyanweh chapter 4 . 4/26/2016
This story isn't making any sense at all.
The Alliance only has mass accelerator cannons on board civilian vessels, because their laser and fusion lance weapons are superior and it states that the Turian mass accelerator cannons are only a fraction as powerful as the ones on the civilian vessels. So, Alliance military weapons Alliance civilian weapons Turian weapons (except those disruptor torpedoes). Also, Alliance military armor and shielding is better than Prothean armor and shielding, which is better than Turian armor and shielding. Alliance is also better at cyber-warfare, given that they have AIs. The AIs along with mind links to create a hive mind should also mean better tactics and strategy. Then there is the fact that by not using mass effect technology the Alliance is not limited in ship size (It's really really hard for anyone to make a dreadnought bigger than 1 km in length in the Mass Effect universe using mass effect technology).
All in all, the Alliance military is superior in every way to the Turians, so why are they having a hard time against a force that's roughly 1/8th of their numbers? If the Alliance only has 1100 instead of 11000 ships around Shanxi they should still have a fairly easy time at repelling the Turian forces.
| Tjuparulla chapter 19 . 4/9/2016
Gotta say the Citadel is the only worthy target of that gun. It's also a valuable enough target as the center of government that I can't see Harper leaving it intact regardless of the repercussions.