Reviews for The Moonlight Guards
Anime Analyst chapter 1 . 3/16/2014

Style (0/5)
Length (5/5)
Mistakes (9/10)
Visual (0/10)
Dialogue (9/10)
Truth (0/10)
Side Characters/Background Characters (0/10)
Back Story (N/A)
Relationships (0/15)
Content (5/15)
Bonus (1/5)

TOTAL: (29/95)

This is very odd to read as it is almost entirely dialogue and there are too many Non-Kuroshitsuji characters to possibly keep track of. You should stick to one fandom when writing and add in as few characters not related to the show as possible. It becomes very confusing for readers of the fandom especially when you’re adding people they might not know and with little if any description as to who they are. Also, you have character related to each other in ways they just aren't in the manga/story which is all around beyond strange for people who read and love the characters as they are, worse yet you don’t explain why this is…

When writing you must keep in mind we (the readers) can only see and hear what you write down. So if you haven’t written it doesn't exist to us. There are no descriptions on what the characters look like or how they are related to each other. I give it 29 out of a possible 95. But there is a hint of something good in the story, which I am sure could be great if you improve upon these points. Most off (if nothing else) you should avoid making stories that are almost entirely dialogue. Anyway, happy writing, I hope to see you progress in the future…