|Reviews for Redemption Song|
| SheriffJohnStone chapter 6 . 1/15
So I'm a little late to the part of this one. Sorry bout that. This chapter was burning a hole in my inbox, so in my quest to un-clog my fic updates I got to this one as soon as I could.
This chapter was great. After the first couple scenes, I really sunk into what was happening and enjoyed the hell out of it. The conversation between Shinji and Asuka there was striking, and having them actually talk while treading a series of fine lines was great, and it provides groundwork for their more open and honest interactions later. I was also a fan of the scene where Shinji was talking to Hikari, as well as confrontation between Asuka and Kaji Jr. Big fan of his role here, and I'm excited to see what you do with him, and how you give him the importance he needed in the movie.
The final stretch of this chapter really shone for me. The tree sprouting and how it signifies the bridge between Shinji and Asuka getting stronger was heartwarming. Viko's presence in the scene with Asuka was needed and well-done. His optimism counters her pessimism well and lets Asuka be honest with herself, even if it's just a little.
One more thing: The interspersed bits about Asuka eating and judging Shinji's cooking was awesome. Like the "Shinji tree," it strengthens their bond. It's also a very 'Asuka Langley Shikinami' way of opening up to someone she has feelings for, so I appreciate it.
I feel a certain ship run by one Katsuragi coming closer, so be it in the next chapter or after, I'm looking forward to that. Cheers DB.
| Codjumper chapter 6 . 1/4
Damn! Read it in two days and I'm glad I finally did indeed. I don't know what to say but for you to continue this story, and to tell you the truth I needed this one as there aren't to many with this story setting and I always liked and still do how you pace your stories so thank you! Also congratz!
| HydrationStation chapter 6 . 11/19/2021
You know, that opening and ending conversation could've been one scene but I like that it's separate. Kind goes full circle, and the first one landed well, I expected a big confrontation tbh, but I appreciate it kind of becoming a semblance of their playful banter. Having different POV's is a really cool way to make the scene more third person, glad to see Pen-Pen jr. awkwardly overhearing critical Asushin moments. And with Kensuke too, its a cool way to give him more character time without devoting an separate scene for exposition, it reminds me of the Swedish couple.
Ryoji jr. is a cool character in this too. I dunno if you've seen Attack on Titan final season, but there's these new, younger characters who sort of mirror the protagonists journeys in their younger years, and they're watching this new generation with a self awareness and intervene. I think there's a similar thing going on with that, even with Misato taking on the new Commander role completely. Hell, she's even going so far into the part that she neglects her 14 year old son after the loss of her partner.
I really like how the village is more in depth here and the trio participation in it. In 4.0 its a way to show depressed Shinji being detached from a world that's full of life, but here, he's found the push to find purpose in being a member of society.
Nice chapter man, can't wait for the next.
| skyf0x chapter 6 . 11/16/2021
We all were waiting for some big talk after previous chapter. Hints were thrown at us, the scenery was set up for a big moment. But did we get it? No, not at all, and this is perfect.
Just like the chapter name says, it's just so much things to say, it's impossible to just talk about them in one sit like previous chapter's ending suggested. It doesn't work like that, and I like how Shinji reminds us about this with his constant chant that everything goes only by steps, little by little. Each conversation is like a battle, and each of this battle has bee won here, by both of Asuka and Shinji, in a good way. There weren't any long talks, but all conversations between different characters were connected to each other. Even if Asuka and Shinji weren't talking, they were speaking to each other indirectly, each of them revealing something about another person with the help of other people or circumstances. This feeling of growing fondness between them was accompanied wonderfully by the overall tone of peaceful times in the village. It's just like in the movie, but much better, because it's explored properly now.
AsuShin was everywhere, in every scene, and I'm amazed by how it has been done. Asuka's remarks about how she doesn't need food and she doesn't feel taste, yet at the same time she comments about all the little flavours. Ryoji's, Kensuke's and Viko's words about Shinji and major. Notes of jealousy from Shinji about "Kenken" and Hikari's thoughts about that. Notes of jealousy from Asuka about Rei and Shinji's simple remark about people he cares for. Stupid-Shinji Tree and Asuka not playing with her console anymore. Rei's complete understanding that Shinji's wish to spend more time with people here is literally because he wants to spend more time with Asuka in the first place. Asuka's dream about normal life, Shinji's musings about red hair.
There are just too much details and they arranged within the story without being pushy about Asuka and Shinji's relationship, and they are all beautiful.
Shinji's growing determination to do everything right is unmissable, and it's very nice to see how it transforms naturally from helping people to 'fighting' his father. I love how Shinji is becoming the man he became in the movie naturally, without any rushing. The way how he pities his father, realizing how much loss of Yui brought to the world, literally foreshadows some kind of ending of this story. He already starts to think like an adult, he already looks more mature than Asuka, when he understands Kensuke's words about fathers, while Asuka doesn't.
I won't stop sending praises for characterisation of this Asuka, because it's really Shikinami. The way she speaks and acts says a lot, but it's kept perfectly in character. I like to play this little game when I'm reading about her, trying to understand her true intentions, and it's always enjoyable. It's like reading a story inside the story and I'm very satisfied with what I understood about her here. She is really starting to enjoy normal life, she is becoming a human again, and it's funny how the only reminders about the Angel inside her are the glowing eye and her little "talks" with it. It's like she asks Angel where is it now, how is she able to feel herself like a normal person, why is it so new and at the same time very melancholic.
The moment she calls Shinji by his name, indirectly defending him before Gendo, saying all of this right in front of Kensuke and Shinji himself - that was a top tier scene. It doesn't help that everything around the chapter was spiced with how she is just comfortable around people now and especially around Shinji. Just better and better with each day. Step by step. Little by little.
Two things in this chapter I like to mention specifically are topic of Kensuke and Asuka playing viola in the past. Two little details, one is awesome and believable, the other is awesome and not really believable.
It was necessary to touch the sort of relationship between Asuka and Kensuke, it's normal Shinji is jealous, and it's interesting that Hikari said about how Asuka tried to do something few years ago. I think it's cool to speak about something like that, when they both were the same, it might be understandable.
Asuka playing viola during her training looks less fitting for her backstory, and I see it as some sort of Soryu's influence. I don't really like such things, but, from the other side, isn't it awesome to have Asuka and Shinji more in common for the plot's sake? Them connecting thanks to the music is still one of the main premises of the story, and I loved it here, eve if it's not so believable.
There are so much things to say in this review, and there are still so much things to say in this chapter. It's like the ending could've been about stargazing and Asuka reminiscing about how she was imagining where Shinji was floating in the space. But I'm sure there will be time for this and much more in the future, just like Asuka's suggestion to eat here together with Rei.
Was it a hint that Rei is going to die in front of both of Asuka and Shinji? It is a painful thought, but we all know that hope is never absent in Evangelion nor in your stories. The last line is exactly my feelings. "A feeling of expectation… and desire for a certain thing to happen." And "certain thing" is the continuation of this story.
| Chucky117 chapter 6 . 11/16/2021
This was such a sweet read! I felt that the pacing was well done. And I loved the slow progression of Shinji coming out of his depressive shell with Asuka’s slowly opening up more to Shinji.
I loved the talk that Shinji and Asuka had at the beginning of the chapter with them slowly starting to have a normal conversation going. The baby steps to their approach was a nice touch.
The additional character exploring you've shown with Kaji Jr. through his interaction with Asuka was done so nicely.
And damn, watching Hikari acting like a high school gossip girl was such a fun read. Nice that she was used to help clarify and confirm Asuka’s relationship with Kensuke, something that the Rebuilds didn't really clarify on.
Have a good break. Everyone deserves one every now and then, especially after making a great chapter as this (and the recent chapter in Relapse).
Looking forward to when you return and the future chapters to this! And congrats on the marriage!
| Chad Commander chapter 6 . 11/16/2021
Well I re-read Chap 6 after the update. I gotta say I liked it a lot. You improved a lot from what it was before the update. I am excited to see what happens in the next chap. Good job DB.
ps: Congrats and good luck on your wedding man.
| EvaPilotFair chapter 6 . 11/16/2021
Woah what a ride! Will go into my favorite parts now as there is so much to love with this chapter. Running themes here: Hard-working Shinji, Life Isn't So Bad After All Asuka, Ms. Lookalike (just Ms. Lookalike), and MVP Hikari!
Now first off, I thought the opening scene was very well done and a satisfying conclusion to the cliffhanger we left off on from the previous chapter. It was adorable and refreshing to see Shinji fumble around and try to speak to Shikinami and act either overly excited like a total dork or super quiet like the doormat Asuka hates haha. I love when Shinji's good hearted but dorky side gets shown. That scene really did a good job of showing that. It was even funnier when he was venting to the penguins later on about his feeling towards Asuka. It was funny and reminded me of how I or anyone else would rant to their pets haha.
Next, Asuka. Man I loved her characterization very much in this chapter. Despite the lack of Rebuild stories, I can firmly tell that this is Asuka Langley Shikinami not Soryu, and man are you doing a great job of writing her. She feels incredibly close to her movie version and isn't that great when we get as close to an accurate portrayal as possible to the source material? I love everything about her internal conflict of waiting to "serve her purpose" as a weapon to accepting that life and the world around her isn't so bad. Particularly her conversation with Viko where she actually voiced out loud what her wishes and desires are if she were to survive this. Man Shinji is having an even more positive effect on her than even she realizes! It's so great to show her still caring about him but coming across like she isn't. Yet, she's more open and receptive of his company and words here and it's so damn adorable to read. It's great you built upon that side of her from the movie and I hope she gets to be "human" and live her well-deserved peace.
Rei Q was adorable as always here. I loved everything about her conversation with Shinji and being enthusiastic (in her own Rei way) about talking about what she's learning in the village. I clapped like a damn seal when she asked Shinji if Asuka was his partner like Toji/Hikari, getting him all flustered. The ballon popping is going to be that much more sad.
The way you are writing Kaji Jr. is so entertaining and interesting to read. I love that he's a happy-go-lucky kid like Aang from Avatar or Sora from Kingdom Hearts that actually fits in this story and source material. Love the bro friendship between him and Shinji a lot. Plus Asuka shooting him down of his plans was caring/compassionate in her own Asuka way. I love how he's trying to meet his mother and is even planning to sneak on the Wunder and everything. Man Viko is raising this kid well. Speaking of Viko...keep it up man! He's awesome! I am eager for more tunes and lemonade from him!
Finally, Hikari. She was the MVP of the chapter for me by far. I loved everything about that scene between her and Shinji. From Shinji doing some hard work being a lumberjack with axes and Mama Hikari returning to her school girl days and gossiping and teasing Shinji about his crush? Man it was glorious. I got a lot of enjoyment out of that and it was really cute to read. Hopefully Shinji takes that advice with him going forward haha.
Final Notes: I loved Kensuke and the whole thing with his dad. Was nice and grounded. He's a good guy and I love this SoL village stuff. It's so great
I can't wait for Kaji's birthday! Enjoy your time off, good luck and happy writing! I am so eager to red what's next! I'll wait as long as needed. Enjoy your time and life my guy, congrats!
| KingXanaduu chapter 6 . 11/15/2021
This review was done after you did the DLC update to Chapter 6, so I'll include my thoughts of this chapter as a whole.
I was very satisfied with the talk that Shinji and Asuka had at the beginning. While I was expecting a lot more shouting and deeper talks to take place, this outcome is the best to come from their situation, as Shinji is trying to take baby steps to not push her accidentally away. Sometimes even talking about the simplest things can create the strongest of bonds.
Both Shinji and Asuka are growing in their own way during their time in the village, and I'm relieved that Shinji is becoming more and more optimistic of his situation, despite what Asuka keeps telling him being a "prisoner". And now the more I see it, I get the feeling that her constant reiteration of his status of a "prisoner" is less of a reminder of his penance...but perhaps her way as seeing him an equal to her, as she herself perhaps sees her as a prisoner her entire life. Now her rants about him having a "normal life" make more since why she says it with such bitterness. She feels he's distancing from her, the only person that probably understands her situation.
Your addition of Hikari as the resident "gossip girl" was such a joy to read. Nice to see some things haven't changed, and she's pushing them together. Especially that talk with Asuka's relationship with Kensuke. It's a sore subject with the fandom, and it's a relief that Hikari was straightforward with him about it. I could easily see Hikari becoming a close family role for Shinji, and look forward to seeing their interaction.
And that last scene with Viko is a nice touch, as well as Asuka's interaction with Kaji Jr. Viko is slowly becoming now one of my favorite original characters of the Eva fandom, and despite his quirkiness, his wisdom is well needed in this story, especially that last scene with Asuka, as he's probably the ONLY one I've seen that calls her out on her bullshit.
Same with Kaji Jr., that he's the most understanding of Shinji's plight and has no desire to hate him. Wish we had more interactions like this with him in other stories.
Overall, this was an excellent chapter for the further introspection of Asuka and Shinji's journey. And like the last line, I eagerly "hope" for what is to come in the next chapter. Well done DB.
| gumsworth chapter 6 . 11/15/2021
Ay nice. Really like the additions to this chapter. All the development feels natural and so do the characters. One of my favorite things so far is Asuka having a seemingly infinite supply of protein bars for Shinji.
| Mr. Mojo chapter 6 . 11/15/2021
Nice DB nice
| MooseTracks101 chapter 1 . 11/15/2021
Review for Ch. 6: This was a good chapter already, and you managed to make it better. All the character interactions were nice. I think I enjoyed seeing Asuka regaining her humanity the most, seems like Bento-man is saving her this time. All in all, I really enjoyed this chap. Go ahead and take a break DB, go out and live life with the wife. I’ll be here, waiting for the next chap, whenever it may come :)
| YourBlandestNightmare chapter 1 . 11/15/2021
Alright, review for the new version of Chapter 6: I loved it! The new additions were great, especially the scene with Viko and Asuka, that was the highlight of the chapter for me. Their conversation in the car was very sweet too, and not just because of the jam. I'm very excited to see how things develop once Wunder arrives in the next chapter, and the promise of further talk-no-jutsu always gives me life :D
I wish the best of luck to you and your wife. Take care, and take as much time off as you need. I'll be here, waiting, and I'm sure many others will too. Love you, brother. Thanks for writing :)
| Greg242 chapter 1 . 11/15/2021
I'm reviewing this chapter because I've already left one for chapter 6 and doesn't allow two reviews per chapter. Anyway...
These extra words really feel like an awesome addition to the already fantastic chapter, especially that scene with Viko and the tree, I'm curious whether you are going to name Ms. Lookalike or not, still, she's fun to read about in the scenes she's in.
The visit to Kensuke's father was nice too, especially for Shinji's thoughts in it, but of course the best part about this entire thing was the slow progression of Asuka's taste for food ahah! As we say: The best way to Shikinami's heart is through her stomach :).
That's all from me! Keep going strong Db and until next time, see ya!
| NoseGum chapter 6 . 11/14/2021
The last chapter left me anxious and excited for the next, and man did this deliver. Asuka and Shinji's talk was great and satisfying to read. It's very gratifying to see Shinji's growth pay off for him in that way, and it feels really natural too.
Something else I especially like is the usage of the other characters and how you expand on what the movie already established. From the exploration of Kaji Jr's character and the growing parallels between him and Shinji concerning their parents, to Hikari simply nudging Shinji in the right direction. Asuka even, is looking more well rounded than her film counterpart, with her role in the village and relationships with others (Kensuke, Hikari, Misato, Ryoji) being further elaborated. All the development feels earned, and the details surrounding it fit neatly. I think it's really sweet.
Oh, and I know who Viko is :]
Great chapter. I've always enjoyed reading your Eva stories, enough to where I'd end up placing them above most if not all others, if I had to make a list. If you feel that you need to step back from writing or that you don't like it as much as you used to, or something like that, then it's perfectly fine to take a break or to stop writing altogether. There's no need to feel as if you owe anyone anything. Regardless, thanks for the quality stories maeng, and I'll be looking forward to your return if things work out that way. If not, then I'm more than satisfied with what's already there. Take it easy and peace out.
| poBBpC chapter 6 . 11/14/2021
This is such a great story. I can't wait to see where it goes when you come back.