|Reviews for Kitsune no Tengu|
| Ai-2005 chapter 2 . 8/21
I like it)) waiting for more chapters.
| Guest chapter 2 . 6/25
This story is so well written, that Im totally recommending it to my friends. Great job!
| AvoidedIsland chapter 2 . 6/16
Thank you for the update! I'm enjoying the detail you're bringing to the story without bogging it down. I really do hope it's Madara that Mito meets. :x
| Me chapter 2 . 6/16
I liked this chapter. The research you've done went into the fight scene very well, especially Hashirama's shikigami whispering instructions into his ear. I can't help but picture it as a ridiculously cute little spirit haha.
My only criticism is that Madara and Izuna's conversation seemed a little bit info-dumpy and stilted. But I suppose you had to get that in there somewhere. Also for your notes: it's Abe no Seimei, not Seimei no Abe. Abe was the clan name.
| Girasol93 chapter 1 . 8/21/2014
I really liked this first chapter, if you can call it a chapter since this hasn't been updated, so I will refer to it as an WIP short story? I sincerely hope you continue this AU because I was just beginning to enjoy this entirely new take on the naruto universe :( Who cares if the japanese language sounds dorky, if it will make the story sound RIGHT, then use it! I really can't wait until you have enough motivation/time/inspiration? to resume this interesting plot :D
| DivineBarak chapter 1 . 5/24/2014
I feel like this has a wonderful potential! I can't wait for the next chapter.
| Azela chapter 1 . 5/3/2014
This sounds so interesting and awesome! I love fantasy :)
| FireEagleSpirit chapter 1 . 3/27/2014
I don't know where to begin - honestly this looks so promising I can just wait to see where you wish to lead the story because it is really at the beginning
But I can't help but love it already - I'm simply in heaven and flattered that my stuff could inspire you enough to write this AU
First I want to say that I never expected you to include the current generations characters like Naruto and Karin - it hasn't really passed in my head - the way you did it was surprisingly good and fitting, I really enjoyed reading interactions between Naruto, Karin and Mito - they are all in character and I think this worked very well for the plot, or the Uzumaki/Kitsune family wouldn't be so interesting and dynamic with just Mito and possibly OCs
Also, I was really thrilled when I noticed you included Kaguya's legend here - it fits so well, and gives the story a great mythological background that goes even further than the Kitsune/Tengu/Yokai setting could've gone - it makes this seems a whole world that actually works and is definitely interesting
The way you worked the Kitsunes was also great - I love Kurama's role and everything fits very well, including the way the count of tails is important for their species -I'm just eager to see how you will work the Tengus
Thank you so much for writing these, I'll wait eagerly for the next part
| AceOfCrows chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
'and waged war with bot races' should be both and it's Tsukiyomi, not Tsukiyumi. But other than these typos (there may be more but I didn't notice), this looks pretty good so far. I don't really have further commentary as this is an introductory chapter.
Critique: beware of info dumping. You haven't done it badly yet, but remember it's not natural for people to explain things in conversation when they already know about those things. So rather than:
"But... wouldn't that be breaking the Law of the Realms? We may meddle with mortals and their affairs but we are strictly forbidden from killing them." Mito pointed out with a twitch of her nine tails.
"We are forbidden from killing them directly, but if he were to say... have an unforeseeable accident that caused his untimely death, then we won't be breaking the Law of the Realms."
You could do something like:
"But wouldn't that be breaking the Law of the Realms?"
"Not if we don't kill him directly."
Just some food for thought.