Go Trump. Gun control or pest control..hmm let me think...
I know lets let ISIS gun the fucking lot of you down.
Allahu Akbar

You're no brony and you sure as hell are no writer.

bad writer that is of this fanfiction unkind words need to be gone now

Story's pretty good, but ur profile pic is just creepy.

I'm reviewing as I read, so I apologize if it seems a bit jumpy.

* Loneliness and isolation are synonymous… However I appreciate that you are probably doing this as emphasis.

* Strong description of Equestria; it's quite revocatory of that warmth and happiness

* The second sentence is a bit long-winded

* Again, Luna's mind and subconscious are synonymous; the emphasis is a bit unnecessary here. Maybe a rewording is called for?

* Small typos: convienantly should be conveniently; tumbiling should be tumbling

* You definitely catch my attention when you point out the age discrepancy; my initial thought is "how could a romantic relationship possibly work between someone who is young and someone who is old?" It leaves the reader interested in seeing how the relationship progresses.

* Hmm. Good intrigue/cliff hanger when you state that Luna's friends have "every reason to fear her." The facade is quite scary.

* I thought it was funny when Luna stuck her tongue out at her reflection (of Nightmare Moon) in the mirror HOWEVER I feel like that is something a young/childish person (mare ;p) would do, not a grown adult

* The dialogue between your characters seem natural and flows well. For the times when you're using quite a bit of dialogue, maybe you can break up the dialogue a bit more to add action words (what is the character doing as she is talking) … and also to remind who exactly is talking! Sometimes after several lines of dialogue I had to re-track a bit to make sure I knew who was the one speaking. (Although, Twilight and Luna have very different styles of speech [nice touch by the way] which made it easier to tell them apart.)

* Your final sentence is a bit weak. It just ENDS suddenly, you know?

Overall; good chapter; your creativity and style is evident; minor details could make your work stronger!

very nice
Draco122

ew

Liked it alot. Was sweet. :)

I've been waiting to read a mlp fic from you! And I really like this one!

I really like the part where Twilight and Luna talk about Nightmare Moon, I think it's sweet and really shows Twilights acceptance of Luna's past.

There is one spot in the story where a piece of dialogue doesn't have quotation marks at the end but that's really the only problem. (I'm reviewing on a iPod so remembering where I found it was impossible... Sorry!

I was also surprised when they say Princess Celestia with Pinkie Pie. That left me gaping for a few minutes hehe.

I was really engaged and I think that you did a good job on it.

Awesome! I have nothing else to say.