|Reviews for Mother of a Phantom|
| The Hollow Luner Fang chapter 34 . 6/28
Ok, well first off, yeah we're both busy. Life always comes first when it comes to fanfiction and there are no exceptions to this rule. I will say that there is no shame in still living with your parents in your late teens and early twenties as long as you have aspirations for the future. I, myself, am still living with my parents while I go to college. And I turn 21 in a few days.
Now to the story.
This was a quite romp setting up the rest of the arch, nothing more nothing less. I felt it was rushed a bit, not in story or pacing, but in your mild desperation to have something on the page. The chapter is fine as it is and you shouldn't pressure yourself to update.
You are right in saying that there is more to say about the future then the present. The biggest thing I can say about how you should go about their nightmares might come as a surprise to you. Go typical and obvious with their nightmares. Don’t think too hard when it comes to what they are having a nightmare on, but, and it's a really big butt, like XXXXL big butt, take a long hard look at why.
Working on the "Why" is your biggest asset in the next few chapters in making them memorable in the future. Nightmares are one's self conscience revealing all of its hidden fears and insecurities to light in a visual fuck show that ends up scaring the shit out of you. The dreams themselves are just symbolic of each character's fears and insecurities, not the physical representation of them. That last bit is the most important part.
Tucker might be the easiest example. What would his typical nightmare that anyone in the Phandom can point out? A world without technology. Side: his chapter might be a good 'visual' reprieve from the other 'scary' chapters. You can cartoon it up with how primitive his dream is but the root of his fear must be crystal clear at the end of the dream. Why does he fear loss of technology in the world? Maybe it's a fear of abandonment stemming from how Danny and Sam have been becoming distant from him now that Dani has entered their lives and Sam got ghost powers. The fear can stem from a possible loss of self, his identity as a person is defined in his relation to the technology that he excels at. He needs something to clearly define how a loss of technology affects him as a person or individual, more so then just losing his PDA.
Jazz's could be more visceral in how her nightmare is represented. I always saw her fearing something quite similar to the rest of her family. The Fenton clan is known for their fierce love and loyalty to their family and friends. Her's would be representable of the Fenton household as a hole. She fears losing her parents, Danny, and Danielle without being able to fight back. Her fear of feeling helpless to save her family doesn't drive her to seek power either. She wants to be the shield to obscure the light of reality from her family and keep them safe from harm. You can get graphic with her nightmare, to an extent. She is a person that strives for a very clear picture of reality, scientific and detailed. Don’t hold back on the details with her dream. Other dreams could use fuzzy pictures and descriptions to their advantage but her nightmare shouldn't have that.
Sam's should stem from her newly acquired anxiety of pregnancy and motherhood. Other than the general fears that are shared with Jazz and the other Fenton’s, the nightmare should actually be muti-layered. She is worried, like a lot of people do, is becoming like their own parents when raising their kids. Being raised by the Mansions and not always disliking her mother for virtually everything she does, she doesn’t want to become the parent that imposes their will on their children but will have to realize at some point that there is no guarantee of that. Every parent has to coach their children on the ways of the world and is subjective to the biases of their parents. Even if their biases are good intentioned there is still the possibility that she might impose her non-imposing biases onto her children.
The main part of the chapters should be the surface level fears and anxieties taken shape, that will make the chapter as a whole easier to write. The resolution to the nightmares should come from Danielle understanding the "why” of their fears and resolving them for the individual. Dani shows Tucker that even without his PDA he will always be her beloved uncle. Jazz has, and will, protect her family and that she hasn't, and won’t fail them. Sam is already a great mother to Danielle and is teaching her to make her own decisions in life. And, that she'll do the same for her new sibling, or siblings.
I think that the future of this story is bright even if the future you can see clouds over the horizon.
If you want to brainstorm in the future, message me in house whenever. I'd be glad to help in anyway.
Looking forward to the future.
The Hollow Luner Fang
| Reyow chapter 34 . 6/27
On the job thing, try job corps out, it may not be the best thing in the world but it's what got me job experience and I'm dead set that's it's the only reason I was able to find work a couple years ago going through similar issues, just saying being an adult sucks,but hope things go better for you, also don't let that creative spark die, lately if been trying to reignite mine and it's being difficult, also LOVE THE STORY, I haven't been reading lately so I just caught up and can't wait to fine out what happens next, like when they tell their parents about the baby and let's be honest there Gina have to at least tell Dannys parents the would story soon, I keen jack they might get away with but Maddy will def finally connect the dot sooner or later. But good day and happy hunting no giving up now. :)
| Tsukiko K chapter 34 . 6/22
The giant AN's are annoying. I can't tell how long a chapter is and they take up too much space.
| ianarcher33 chapter 34 . 6/13
I really love this story and take all the time you need to keep it at the, if I'm honest, semi-decent quality it is. Like I said, I love it, it's one of the favorite continuations of the DP universe. There just happens to be a lot of grammatical and spelling errors, along with a few instances when you used the wrong Danny/Dani (which I'll admit led to some amusing mistakes). As a whole however, it's a beautiful story and I can't wait for an update.
| Guest chapter 34 . 6/13
I'm sorry to hear about your problems. I have been struggling with depression on and off for several years so I know how hard it can be. I hope you can get things figured out and feel better. If it helps, I love these stories and think they are some of the best I have ever read in any fandom. I have often felt less joy in things I like than I experienced before, but paradoxically it can help to force yourself to do those things and just get out of your head. Take whatever time you need and feel better.
| ianarcher33 chapter 26 . 6/13
I KNEW IT
| ianarcher33 chapter 21 . 6/13
Don't think you're sneaky. Sam and Danny get hot and heavy and now Sam feels sick. Me thinks someone is pregnant
| Guest chapter 34 . 6/11
I think it would be funny if after the Necropathic is cured that some ghosts(Johnny, Box ghost, Bertrand?) when to Amity to escape their mates(Kitty, Lunch Lady, and Spectra?), who are in pregnancy mood swings. And it ends with the males(Danny, Jack, Johnny, Boxy, Bertrand?, Tucker?) and females(Sam, Maddie, Kitty, Lunch Lady, Spectra?, Valerie?, Dani?) having a girl/guys day out, respectively.
| lumigo akvo9504 chapter 34 . 6/10
Keep writing and following the ideas you have. This story is awesome can't wait for the next chapter
| helkil chapter 34 . 6/7
I want them to get physical bedroom wise again sometime before she has the baby and not under any influence also (mother and daughter of a phantom meets mass effect?) could be cool
HOPE THERES MORE
| Mana chapter 34 . 5/23
I didn't think it through but, here's an idea of helping Sam getting out of the whole arranged marriage thing. It should have something to do with 'Samantha Phantom' *duplicate if she can* and telling them that she's their ancestor. It would be hilarious to see Pamela's reaction if she was related to the Phantom family by marriage, if generations removed. Especially how the public will react to 'Samantha Phantom's' only LIVING current family, which would make Sam Manson and Danielle Phantom very distant cousins. Which means that 'Samantha Phantom' will have to come up with an explanation on how she's related to the Manson family. In case they can't find her in the family tree, she could always say that her parents at the time erased any evidence of her existence out of spite.
Not sure if this is what you had in mind but hope it helps and it sounds awesome.
| M.v.j.M chapter 34 . 5/19
I can't wait for the next chapter please update soon
I would love if grandma manson disowned SAMs parents
| Jt chapter 32 . 5/18
You're doing great, just wanted to say keep up the amazing work. :)
| Good Idea chapter 32 . 5/8
As much as I like you're President and feel ticked off at the Vice President for betraying him, I couldn't help but feel a bit resentful towards him (the President) in this chapter. Danny brought an army to help save lives. He couldn't wait for the White House to send help. Tucker wasn't even sure if their message would be heard after unjamming the signal. It wasn't the whole public seeing Danny as a threat thing that irritated me. It was the fact that he implied that Danny had other options available at the time and that he did the wrong thing by bringing the ghosts to fight.
| Good Idea chapter 26 . 5/8
At first I hated Tyrant, now I'm starting to like him! I was surprised that he honoured his side of the deal and instantly began respecting him for that. Now I find him totally awesome! The way he took down the GIW had me bouncing around in happiness! I just hate the GIW that much.