|Reviews for A Second Chance|
| Guest chapter 10 . 3h
I really hope that more Ex-Servants are going to appear. Diarmuid, Gilles de Rais and Ozymandias would be perfect!
| polarpwnage chapter 3 . 8/23
I wonder how Shirou's 16 years of memories could possibly affect Archer's thousands of years of memories under the serivtude of Alaya, not to mention thousands of years of slaughtering humans have a more impact on memory than the life of relative peace of Shirou. If you say something like Archer's memory being hazy, I'm calling bs
| rickyp01 chapter 10 . 8/22
Cant wait for shiro to just ragequit the omniverse when DXD-calibur arc begins.
why? simple: Hes spent eternity (or infinity if you want to get technical seeing as eternity would mean he still hasent escaped but he due to the soul-clones soul-fusions across multiverses he could see infinite life experience in a fraction of a second but he was technically not eternal as he would need to see infinity from a temporal state, while he gained infinite experience in an extratemperal setting.) trying to escape slavery finally succeeds, gets amnesia, gets forced into faustian slavery while simultaniously un-amnesia-ing.
among his fellow slaves: combat blacksmith youth, survivor of a genocide created by a rougue church faction whose fate is intrinsically tied to an ancient arthurian artefact.
this immediatly after having to fight a OP spoiled brat with an entitlementstreak forcing people into marriage against their will. SAID INDIVIDUAL BEING A DESCENDANT of THE symbol of immortality (the one thing gil wanted but could never have) and rebirth (resurrection: Like heavens feel).
Admit it: the root is a stagewriter and Archy will soon realize hes the main role.
i need to re-look into the kuroka/koneko arc to see if i can tie it to the matou-tohsaka arcs and i dont need to say a damn thing about the HERO-faction. hell they even have descendants of Berserker (I KILLED ANCESTOR 6 TIMES, WITH ONE HAND BEHIND MY BACK. WITHOUT BRINGING OUT THE BIG GUNS YOU BITCH) Ruler and Saber.
i didnt get to far into DXD lore but what i do know should be enough to give archer an emotional breakdown.
| ilidio13 chapter 10 . 8/19
Beautiful storytelling. A new favourite of mine. I don't much about TYPE-MOON universe and I've just read this to enjoy more about EMIYA's adventures. Even though the story has not progressed far, it's a joy to read it.
There's interesting and well thought character development. While there's an MC, care was taken to build up the supporting cast and making a sort of ensemble type of cast. I particularly like the explanation about Archer's value as 1 piece. He's already the finished article with little room to improvement while the other's are kids at the start of their journey who soon will surpass him...unless the author begins with power ups for him. I'm just read some articles regarding Nasuverse's characters power rankings and I was dismayed to see that my favourite character ranks so low in them. Such character deserves to be at least as strong as Gilgamesh and I actually wonder if there's a fic where Counter Guardian EMIYA was sent to Gilgamesh' time in order to kill him or stop him from destroying the "unworthy" humans. Fate/Stay Night UBW makes as if they are direct rivals but the power rankings tells a very different story. Had Gilgamesh be less prideful and Fate/Stay Night as a whole would have been a slaughter for him.
Anyway back to this fic. I like the small touches too like the reference to Archer's past life (the girls) in chapter 8 or 7, the virginity and age issues, the training of Ise and the similarities between the UBW weapon making capabilities and Yuuto's own Sacred Gear. I guess this is still character development, but I can't say the story progressed that far. Looking from another POV though, and many significant things has happened. Man, this story is so cohesive. The only major and I mean really major flaw is that so far you forget little Gasper! How could you?! It's not the whole team without him. In a following instalment, make sure to use your exceptional storytelling skills to explain his absence from the story so far.
| shelwyn chapter 10 . 8/16
Nice quick read. You can easily flesh our this story to at least 150k words. You have so much going on but rush on the juicy bits. Maybe to get to what you consider the good part?
| shelwyn chapter 1 . 8/15
And in the end that massive hard on is what made him a legend worthy of the throne.
| monkiepawn chapter 7 . 8/12
Great story, love how you make Archer have his memories of him in this new world saving some trades and behaviors but still being Archer. I really like the development and some small changes you are doing to the story. I just hope Rias and Issei don't end together...
| Mangahero18 chapter 6 . 8/11
Great stuff. AkenoxShirouxKoneko is a great combo.
| Mangahero18 chapter 4 . 8/11
| Mangahero18 chapter 2 . 8/11
One pawn seems like way too little for someone with as much potential as Shirou.
| Molten Thunder chapter 10 . 8/10
I like the story, but as others have said I see no reason for Archer to only be 1 pawn. Even if he was a rather crap magus, Unlimited Blade Works is just a hax ability. Also with him now being a devil, he should have a far easier time increasing his strength so his previous potential should mean diddly squat. He should even be able to use more conventional magics now.
If you want to see what kind of strength Archer should have given his near infinite arsenal of incredibly overpowered weapons of legend, just look at Shirou in Fahad09's "A Demon Lord's Hero". Add a few thousand years of constant battle experience on top of that and he should be Sirzech's equal in battle, even with sub-par magical reserves.
All of this is to say- you should have at least let Archer have the 3 remaining pawns or a knight piece or something. He's far too powerful for a single pawn, or maybe that's just the whole "reincarnated from a different dimension" thing screwing with the system. But he really should be more powerful, and not whine about his low potential.
| k-sorry pressed chapter 10 . 8/7
Sorry, pressed the wrong button, continueing my revieuw.
Gae Daerge (buidhe, i always mistake those two), honestly dont know what to think about it, a bit of an important trumpcard. though youd need to guess the nature of its ability for it to have revealed anything but his long range precission shooting.
Lets be blunt: Your Archys emo-im-so-weak-and-without-potential whinefest is bullshit. (sorry this might not seem to be constructive criticism. but this had to be said bluntly) The only two possible reasons for his one-point value are: Plot, the system had nothing to compare reality warping psychological damage as a power to thus not noticing his value. if its plot then get over it and ignore it ever happened. it was merely needed to set up the further plot, and does not carry significance beyond that. if the latter: Archer has infinity to experience everything. he knows a thing or two about deductive reasoning and he should probably have figured that one out within seconds.
shiro was perfectly safe while Yuuto and Koneko where fighting. no-one was going after him at that moment. he should have easily been able to turn around and harpe-raisers face of. which reveals 2 abilities at max. Antiregen-arrows (valuable card up sleeve yes, usefull against most foes? no, just against regens and his basic reading on twilight healing should have told him its a rare ability for devils to have) and long distance acuracy on a human target or maybe face-sized target. meaning the master strategist would have revealed less cards in ending the game then he revealed in ending a single queen piece (of which there where 9 in the game at the time, making instant game over a bit of a great "cutting the knot" solution to being severly outnumbered) let alone his skills revealed against the rest of the peerage with the rapidfire precision sniping explosion arrows long distance. and wouldnt have needed to risk revealing his aias shield.
on a related matter: Archer should have long ago figured out this universe is non-gaian. he should have gone into battle wearing an altered version of gilgameshes armor rather then a copy of his old suit. and he shoulndt have had to project aias at the least, having kept it astralised instead. also shouldnt have dissipated it after using it against the phoenix-blast. he should have de-astralised it. (more prana efficient for in case of a worst case scenario)
would love to see what happened from the other side (rias issei and Akeno) but on the other side im afraid that would just result in making everything seem redundant. youve been reversing time for a change of POV enough already and its on the borders of getting old soon.
for the rest it looks nice.
| k chapter 10 . 8/7
Nice chapter, couple of issues (just think the following: I didnt mention it, its fine, i did mention it: Possitive criticism)
Did archer see them gathered in one place when ravel told them to spread out in specific teams of 2? because at that point a single powerfull NP would be usable to destroy them all (or at least cripplingly wound them) allowing him to give trump card :Single powerfull spot on one target at a range.
now he had to sacrifice trump card:Precission rapidfire spread over a large area.
for a strategist with infinite battle experience this is one hell of a mistake.
Did he stay in one place for that long despite having given away his position? and did he really get distracted long enough for ravel to dissapear travel a far enough distance that he couldnt imediatly find her new hiding spot afterward and charge up that powerfull attack (lets be honest that was likely a huge finisher blow-type of attack like the DBZ-spiritbomb.)
Seriously doubt that any foe faced this early in the story has the right to have an attack to "Almost destroy one barrier" on the aias shield. seriously, this is a shield that can take anti-causality blows. with no greater penalty than mutual destruction.
| Xuan chapter 10 . 8/7
Cool chap. Hope Ravel is after Shiro! Ravel vs Koneko!
| xXElKingXx chapter 4 . 8/4
Actually UBW is superior is practically every way to sword birth.
Any sword made can be copied made can be copied(mostly) and the skill as well.
UBW also copies skill unlike sword birth so unless an opponent is physically better than archer in every physical way by a large margin it is impossible for archer to lose to another swordsman.