Reviews for Fierce and a Little Ragged
RS1 chapter 1 . 4/7/2014
This is wonderful. I hope you to see more postings from you.
MP brennan chapter 1 . 4/6/2014
Holy crap, this was excellent. I loved the perspective on Aragorn (I'm a sucker for a good OC POV;) and Eluned is such a vivid, vibrant character. You've captured something universal with her childish exuberance, and at the same time, you homed in on the harsh, defining attributes of a Dunedain childhood. You have a lovely style-rich and detailed without being cluttered. You have some excellent turns of phrase that say so much in so few words. But, the real key to this piece is the structure-how you reveal back-story in small chunks that feel totally organic until the full picture comes together at the end. Your hard work definitely paid off, and I hope we see much (much much much) more from you.
Crookneck chapter 1 . 4/5/2014
Woo! I’m so glad I decided to preemptively follow you and I’m so glad I didn’t have to wait long for this notice in my inbox! I knew it I knew it, your writing is gorgeous and crafty! I am incapable of keeping my words to myself when it comes to reviewing any story, so my apologies for dumping this blimp of a review on your review page but you totally asked for it:

Where you begin the story; well done! Drew me in immediately – the big action has already obviously happened but we have not a clue how or why or who. The character has gotten themselves into a situation and now up comes Mystery Man… Followed by that part in italics, which struck me as especially wonderful, because it gives me a timeline and it draws me deeper into who’s involved and what their concerns are – obviously the writer has placed this particular story within a specific context, and a very intriguing one!

I love the paragraph where the narrator wishes to go in the corner and plot their revenge – all the details about ‘what men are’ and what they ‘do’, and who the blacksmith and his boy are seen as. Definitely packs a punch when it comes to grounding the story, and the reader, within a solid culture.

The way you weave two narratives at the same time is really wonderful – when the Chieftain is patching the rascal up. The physical actions/interactions are interesting and detailed and once again give us a solid setting, but the words telling the backstory – not only of the fight and the reason for the fight, but also of the Blacksmith himself, and then the cringe-worthy re-setting of the nose coupled with the outpouring of blood and of grief over a wayward father - that’s just lovely, how it all comes together completely seamlessly! And that’s a very gritty but very, very (bitter)sweet image, that embrace.

This line made me teary-eyed: “… and the faint memory of pipeweed, and more peaceful times…” So far you’ve recounted an impressive amount of hurt and grief for our characters in the brief story so far, and the re-setting of the nose that brought other issues to the surface and the sad embrace… Well, that made ME nostalgic for ‘more peaceful times’ and I’m sitting here eating a custard with naught but a hangnail to complain about.

Had to do a tiny fist-pump at the mention of a badger. Even if the mention was metaphor.

And I laughed aloud at the “he graciously ignored my tone”. Perhaps you didn’t mean it to be downright hilarious in its wryness but I found it lol-worthy. Also definitely laughed at the image of our main character laying on the table about to get stitched and finding a thrill of delight because she’s never allowed on the table at HER house. Ha!

The realism of how the child character sees the Chieftain is awesome – how she can shrink away from his angry eyes, and later on hope that he notices when she doesn’t flinch. Without coming out and saying it, it’s so obvious that she looks up to him.

The way you’ve crafted him is really interesting, and very much befitting what I imagine a Dúnedain chieftain would act like – especially this particular chieftain. Very thoughtful – extremely thoughtful, in fact – stern, adamant, but caring and only overwhelming when he needs to be. What he says before they leave grandmother’s house – he’d do the skinning next time – of course struck me as sort of unexpectedly strict for the moment, but then when he admits that he would have tripped the boy too – and bows Eluned out the door – I understand the juxtaposition and it’s a neat way to add even more depth to this character who you’ve already drawn out to be quite depthful.

Such fantastic words and phrases you put together – “hollered like a heathen”, “launched from the table top” – the way you wield words throughout this story definitely, definitely makes the whole thing hum. And I love that she can holler like a heathen and prepare to curtsy within the same hour. “Exquisite with joy” – as if that paragraph didn’t already have me in tears.

What a sad, sweet, surprising, beautiful, and joyful little story, and to think this is your first one on ! I was already looking forward to your big story but now I can hardly wait… Serious talent here! Such a pleasure to read. Before reading this I was of course remotely interested in the Dúnedain culture, because it was part of Tolkien’s legendarium which I love, but it didn’t have a special place in my heart. But this was so full and rich and atmospheric, now I’m suddenly intrigued to know more about the history and setting in the ages and I really, really hope you’ll be able to publish more soon.

Congrats on this! All your head-pounding on the keyboard paid off in spades.

-C

P.S. I’m halfway through The Silmarillion and definitely smiled when Finrod chewed up the werewolf. Also, I read “The Bear”. Yes. Very “The Terror”, and very going to haunt me. :)
Levade chapter 1 . 4/5/2014
Wonderful story! Your Eluned is very engaging, and very real. She's not fair, she's not perfect, and her pain is very real. You definitely have an excellent grasp on the Rangers, and your Aragorn rang perfect in my head. Her situation was definitely one not unusual to the Rangers, but I like that you let her be a child and react with the violent passion of a child. I was so happy to see her father at the end! I'm a sucker for happy endings, and Halbarad happens to be one of my favorites.

Looking forward to more from you! Please, keep writing! :)
keyrousse chapter 1 . 4/5/2014
I really enjoyed it. Great work!
BorysBorys chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
Excellent.
lindahoyland chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
I enjoyed this very much. Your OC was engaging and Aragorn just as I imagine him to be. Loved the reunion at the end. Now I would like to know what happened to Halbarad.

Would love to read more from you.
shirebound chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
Ohhhh, what a truly wonderful story! And the ending was so unexpected and heartwarming I want to weep and laugh at the same time. Welcome, welcome to LOTR fanfiction, and I hope we still a LOT more stories from you. I'm grateful to Dreamflower for linking to your story in her Livejournal post.
tommyginger chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
This was lovely! Thank you so much for sharing it and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
dreamflower02 chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
Oh my! I am so glad cairistiona recc'd this wonderful little story! What a wonderful debut!

I love your OC. And I especially love her interactions with Aragorn; he's firm with her, and yet you can see his warm affection for this ferocious little girl!

A beautiful story! I hope we see many more from you!
babschwi chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
That was excellent! I liked it very much, so I do hope you will write more.
cairistiona7 chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
Hooray for posting it! It was my pleasure to beta this story. You've captured the Dúnedain and Aragorn exactly the way I've always pictured, and introduced a female character who is original but *not* in the least bit Mary Sue-ish or "girl dropped in Middle-earth". It's evident that your young narrator was born into that culture, and the way she interacts with Aragorn is not only believable, but by turns funny and heart-rending and ultimately very Tolkienish. Well done, and may this be the first of many more stories to come!
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