Reviews for Le Reve D'Etoiles |
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![]() ![]() ![]() lol! Hey Poppy, this chapter was great! btw, I've uploaded my 2nd chap (Padfoot & Moony go to Rome, I hope you'll like it) And Please, do continue this story :) Fuzzy Angel |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ah, now, the only problem that I had with this is that you tend to either conjugate your verbs incorrectly, or get the wrong verb all together. Also, you keep switching the general tense of your story (from past to present then back to past, etc) which gets a little confusing. Other than that, I consider this to be well written due to descriptions of surroundings, actions, etc. The narrartor tone is even and controlled throughout the fic, which is nice to see. You may be hinting a wee bit too strongly that Nicholas resembles Quatre, but other than that you introduced a new character quite smoothly. I would take out the OOC part at the end of the fic however. If your readers didn't pick up on those things, then they have more of a problem then you think. You made it wonderfully clear that Nicholas may not be all that he seems. A side note would be that I think that Duo would have probably offered to do something for Nicholas in return for Nicholas's hospitality. _ I look forward to the next chapter! ~*ATHENA*~ (sorry for the excessive long review!) |
![]() ![]() It's well-written. I hope you write more soon! |