|Reviews for The Academy: Acolyte Ascension|
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/27/2020
This was a wonderful read. Well done.
| negronomicon chapter 93 . 10/2/2020
I’ve had my suspicions but I can’t believe it took me 93 chapters to realize this is gay fan-fiction, I am quite disappointed by how this has progressed at this point, and I will be stopping here. However your writing style is fantastic but it tends to drag a bit at some points, with a few noticeable spelling mistakes and sometimes poor punctuation. I like your style of writing but the setting of your story has been very slowly developing and somewhat unbelievable not only that but unrelentingly homosexual.
| Nipplegunz chapter 114 . 1/18/2020
Good Story, wish there were more details about the fates of the other apprentices.
| Guest chapter 42 . 12/29/2016
This chapter makes them kind of seem gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) i get a friendship or a brotherly bond but hugging and resting your head on a dude if you are a dude is pretty gay (not that there is anything wrong with that)
| DhuryamDhuryam chapter 2 . 11/18/2016
Well written. I enjoyed the banter between Lorrik and Jora. I look forward to reading more.
| CaptainSunflowers chapter 1 . 3/17/2016
I've played swtor swtorbefore just not as a Sith. Just as a Jedi Knight and Jedi Shadow. I like my Jedi Shadow more but this is really interesting. I saw in Writers Anonymous.
| Voodoogator chapter 51 . 12/24/2014
a few instances of repeated wording or phrasing alittle too close together here & there, but all-in-all, it has very good flow... never dull or without direction or context :)
my only suggestion would be for the last few lines...
"Through their pain, they had ultimately achieved control...
Through their struggle, they had victoriously achieved freedom...
Through their will, they had finally achieved...
(but that's just MY 'style' :)
| Voodoogator chapter 50 . 12/24/2014
..thought Lorrik was in the Matrix for a minute there hehe
| Voodoogator chapter 29 . 12/23/2014
2 robes.. I knew it hehe
| Voodoogator chapter 28 . 12/23/2014
I'm thinking Lorrik has 2 sets of robes on... "..permitted only to take with you what you can hold within the pockets and folds of your robes.."
...its what I would do hehe
| Voodoogator chapter 27 . 12/23/2014
ok... so, no drop off in intensity that I can see so far ;)
the light cast from his lightsaber changing from blue to red threw me, until I realized it was a dream.. (unless I missed something earlier... like a dual-crystal saber... but theres no use for that unless its double-bladed... although Jedi Master Kyle Catarn had one that changed beams, one was his, the other his pre- Order 66 Jedi fathers'.. but, that's me geeking-out, so nvrmind lol)
its still a great read! if I HAD to find a 'flaw'... it'd be in style (but that's just a matter of preference)
To show an example of what I mean, this is somewhat how I would have written the opening paragraph of Part 2, Chap1:Visions...
Darkness. Surrounding, penetrating... isolating darkness. Like a living thing, it seems to feed on any who attempt to pierce its smothering veil... stealing from them any hopes of revealing its secrets.
As he slowly makes his way through the oppressive black, plumes of acrid, ancient dust arise... disturbed by each shuffling step the human takes. Bathed in the struggling crimson light coming from his ignited lightsaber... the only scant source of light to be found; they suddenly appear, like fiery phantoms, ambushing him as he moves through the void. Aside from the ancient dust-demons that reach up at him frequently, a small patch of the low, thick fog blanketing the cold stones of the tombs' floor provided the only relief from the sense-numbing dark.
Unfortunately, the Inquisitor realized... the tiny circle of red-hued mist, back-dropped by total abyss, also served to further the surreality of his situation.
Added to this, was the eerie, echo-absorbing, silence. In its own way, it was as formidable as the darkness. Together...
If it weren't for his well-trained Force senses, he knew... the Inquister would become hopelessly lost... endlessly wandering helpless in the maze of this ancient Siths' tomb until, eventually... it became his own. Fear slowly attempted to grip him in its cold embrace, just as the un-natural fog of this place gripped the frigid stones it was constructed of.
But he was Sith... And Sith could handle fear, he mused. As if to test this silent proclamation, from somewhere in the unknown surrounding him, came a loud 'CRASH'... causing the trespasser to freeze.
Fear, it now seemed... was not as tamed a beast as he had thought.
Not to suggest it LACKS in style, just trying to find SOMETHING semi-constructive to say about besides "great story" lol
(..but it IS a great story ;)
| T. Alana M chapter 24 . 12/18/2014
Hey Ronisetto! (..I really like that name..)
Man I've missed this.. I've been meaning to continue it for a while, but haven't been able to find the time to read and give decent reviews.
Some of my favorite things are right there in the beginning. Captivating writing, clear imagery, Jresh's wonderfully formal dialogue, his massive subtext and UST with Lorrik, and Syrosk. Have I mentioned that I really like Syrosk? Because I do. He's that cool, sarcastic old guy with killer moves.
The dialogue is very engaging, what with Jresh's formality, Lorrik's snarkiness, the humor, and the subtext. Am I the only one who thinks this is sort of like pillow talk?
Although the wall-of-text was a bit jarring compared to the earlier dialogue, I like Lorrik's rant because it's genuinely heartwarming and it also shows how Lorrik is maturing. Jresh's last line was hilarious after all those serious words. He's starting to think a little more like Lorrik and be a more manipulative, snarky person.
I'm not sure if you meant to convey this, but I like the parallels with other universes. Pureblood, for one - a Harry Potter term that positively oozes of superiority and dislike-for-lesser-beings. However, Jresh manages to soften up towards Lorrik and accept him.
Great work, as always.
| Voodoogator chapter 26 . 12/13/2014
my review of Book 1.. is that you're a very talented storyteller.
Each time I start reading, it gets harder and harder to not KEEP reading.
Good chars, good interactions, and most importantly (to me anyway).. good flow.
It doesn't read like a collection of bits & pieces, but keeps the story going forward, the chars developing and becoming more and more complex.
Not much to be critical of.. a few instances of overused wording could clean it up abit, but I haven't found anything that lessens the story or readability.
Its a great story, being told well. Can't wait to dive into Book 2!
| Voodoogator chapter 5 . 12/12/2014
I'm liking Lorrik more and more.. hehe
| Voodoogator chapter 4 . 12/12/2014