|Reviews for Darkness Falls|
| smalsa chapter 5 . 4/13/2014
I absolutely adore your description! The paragraph about the telepathy invading her senses was well...sensual.
I've got my fingers crossed in hope that you'll be one of those authors who's not opposed to the 'bond' that some authors are. If and when that time comes, yes I know it's way off, but when it does, gosh it could be amazing with how you could write about it!
| smalsa chapter 4 . 4/13/2014
Cracks fingers...this has just gotten good...no, the stour has finally come alive and I'm giddy. There's so much to say about this chapter, where do I begin? The paragraph about the initial explosion at CC was magnificent...Imagery. Is. Everything. The line about the snow actually being charred flesh was disgustingly beautiful, I re-read that chapter twice!
It's very rare to find an author who can writes a story that isn't dialogue led, you are doing it really well. This is the angle dbz should've taken and I love the fact that you're actually showing bulmas logical prowess, a scientific mind like hers would look to preserve and protect human kind...the act of survival should have been flicked on.
There's so many other things I want to pick up on, the fear quote and then comparing it to virginity...don't quite know how to react to that except that I literally laughed and then there was the feral grin that Bulma gave. All your writing is hinting to a Bulma that's giving in to her animalistic side, oh god, I've just got a feeling this is going to be one hell of a BV fic...you better not lot me down woman!
| smalsa chapter 3 . 4/13/2014
I've answered my own question from before!
I'm really likening this so far, I've always loved the telepathy element in BV fics. know some people don't, but it's an alien trait and it's always been believable for me, as an author, however you have to sell this fact and you're doing really well so far!
I also like the fact that Bulma is well...she's not the Bulma all her friends knew, the small incident has changed her and I like the fact that her relationship with Yamcha can be seen deteriorating slowly. That's not to say that I'm expecting a break up anytime soon and for her and vegeta to be in love with each other at first sight. I just like the fact that you're building up a story for how a reader can analyse a relationship and go, oh yes, they were falling apart erm, right here!
| smalsa chapter 2 . 4/13/2014
I feel quite stupid sitting here, I had thought vegeta was the one in the crater and nearly had a heart-attack when I read he had died! How could you kill vegeta at the beginning? Sorry, it was just me I'm not with it today, usually I pick on things!
Radditz last words were...perfect! One has to wonder if he means vegeta and nappa or frieza. If he is warning them about vegeta did he have a change of heart on his death bed or was it out of spite... A kind of I will still get my revenge beyond death thing?
| smalsa chapter 1 . 4/13/2014
Noooo what have you done? Posting 14 chapters at once is the biggest mistake an author can make when posting fics. You have to understand that as a reviewer people will tend to just leave a review for the last chapter, it's just how it works, I've seen it before. It's all about posting in regular intervals, sucking in all the fans and once you have them all hooked, you have free regin as to and when you wish to post, they won't abandon you then. Trust me, I'm the person on the other end of screen. Or are you that rare bred of author that writes for themselves and in doing so awaits reviews but isn't led but them? Ah those type of people are so rare to find! Why am I even telling you this? I'll tell you why, because this is a promising plot with good writing and I'd like to see authors like you get the attention you deserve.
Feel free to delete this post, I'll be reviewing later chapters though! Oh and if you hadn't realised I love the first chapter, I promise later reviews will talk more about writing and plot lines!
| Michelle chapter 1 . 4/13/2014
I just finish the first chapter! I can't wait to read the rest later!
| elianni chapter 14 . 4/13/2014
This fic is very good hope to read more soon