|Reviews for Aura of Betrayal|
| Mark Andrew chapter 10 . 7/16
Please! I hope there's a second chapter when you're able at least. Please!?
Want to see the friendship (and relationship) build between Ash and Cynthia.
Will we slowly see Ash have no relapses? Hope to see him back to his cheerful self soon.
| prodigypsycho chapter 10 . 7/14
This story is amazing!
Really like the Cynthia/Ash pairing but isn't Cynthia a bit old for Ash?
I mean she looks like she was in her late 20s earlier and now since ash is like 17-18(I don't know) wont the age gap still be a bit too large?
I'm not a hater. Just saying. Unless you changed their ages.
| Possessed4life chapter 10 . 7/4
Too lazy to login sorry lol. But this is pretty damn amazing and I'd be really happy if you updated soon and more frequently.
| Sailor Pandabear chapter 10 . 6/24
this was so angsty.
| Magic Ball chapter 10 . 6/6
Personally, Ash shouldn't have anything cannon. Snivy you are stuck with, but any other pokemon he gets shouldn't be cannon. It let's you spice up the story, and keeps your mind thinking. An idea for his team would be Snivy (obviously), Sawk or Throh (I've never seen ash have either dude in any fic), Mandibuzz or Braviary (again not used; take your pick on them), Shelmet or Karrablastt (Cynthia could get the other for the trade. Or Bianca could trade with him), Gothita or Solosis (the underusedness; you pick again), and Zoura, Tynamo, or Deerling as his final (Never seen... slightly reoccurring theme?). Obviously, these are just suggestions. The choice to use them (all of them, some of them, or none of them) is you choice. Obviously they could evolve/be caught at an evolution, but again that is your choice. This is one of the best 'Ash gets betrayed by people' fanfic here. Best pokemon, no, but I would put in my top 20 (I've read at least 400 different pokémon fics). The idea of Ash's name is also unique, with everyone going for Red, Satoshi, or Ashura. MewtwoxMewtwo is also something I haven't seen (not that I seek it out.) Male and female mewtwo is seen sometimes though.
You do have a few open questions. Max as a trainer. If he in cannon, is 7, after three years he would hit 10, or the age to be a trainer. This isn't counting your natural timer, or how much Ash has aged since meeting Max. So, will he fit into this?
May and Drew's relationship. How far has it progressed. Are they still boyfreind/girlfriend or are they farther, such as married? Or are they perhaps engaged?
Everybody else. While somewhat obvious, what is everyone elses' opinion of 'Ash burning the gymMax and May's parrents? As the dialogue somewhat shows, May has some regret over the issue, but how much is unknown. Drew would have an opinion on this as well. Max's opinion would also matter.
Norman and Caroline Maple's death. We know Ash isn't responsible for their deaths, even if everyone else thinks he is. Who framed Ash, or accidentally framed him (Knowing he ran off to the forest is a slight stretch.) Is May and Drew's relationship manipulated, causing Ash to run off, making him take the blame? I don't want to day coincidence, but I won't just now.
Ash/Phoenix. Pesonality change. Profile change. Appearance change. Method change. Ash is very OOC here (although the situation did force him to mature up). Exactly how song is his team that is o him? The fight against Cynthia shows they are strong, but the official rankings aren't. How will he react if he stumbled upon anyone else. How does he enter the Unova League without anyone noticing his hacked Pokedex?
Rayshipping. How will Cynthia break into his shell? He obviously has issues with the burning of the gym, as his mental breakdown that almost caused Cynthia to break her nose proves. So, even with time, unless she begins to actively try to go into a relationship with him, which he could notice with his maturity, Ash should never go to a relationship as of now due to him hurting still after 3 years from another relationship. Unless he gets buttered up, his personality doesn't seem to let him go to a relationship. He also turned very anti-social compared to his normal attitude.
Judicial system. Has no one investigated his case? Ash seemed to be on good terms with Lance, so even if he was a criminal, almost any gym leader elite four member he's met, or Champion would give him bennifit of the doubt and check the case over. Lance stands out because he leads the G-Men. Does everyone believe that by killing two people (Yes one is a gym leader, yes they are his friend's parents, and yes, they do have a famous coordinator as a daughter) and blowing up a building g (yes it was a gym) makes him the human equivalent of the plauge? If so, you should explain how his relationship with everyone is different so none of them would investigate. Most gym leaders could tell an elite four member, or the champion, which could leak word to Lance (I know in the story he is slightly evil... OK more than slightly), who would tip the police off, getting Ash off the hook.
I know that most of what's said isn't important, but to me, the details change a story from boring to amazing. Otherwise every story would be similar. Some little things turn out to effect things very much latter on. Now, I'm not saying you need to use the team (on any of those mons), or awnser any of my questions. I don't mind spoilers to much (some games this is a complete killjoy in), and here I won't mind them at all (except for plot ending details, like Ash would kill some bad dude latter for example). If you don't want to spoil anything, tell me by PM. This is one of the few stories I will definitely wait to see where it goes, because it varries. It isn't the generic story plot, Ash gets betrayed, snags all his pokemon and goes to Mt. Sliver, only to be told by Scoot/Goodshow about some fans tournament, which he infallible wins. He he went to the TOB but Ho-Oh, which is new, gets an Espeon (personal favorite pokemon), and exores a region, which you are doing g mostly from scratch it seems. While betrayal fabrics that pair Ash and Cynthia are the most common, you've done it different enough for me to not see it as a repeat. I'm sorry if I rambled on here, but take what is here into consideration. I think that the info here could help the story grow, but it is your opinion to use it or not.
| GamerGirl597 chapter 10 . 6/5
Love this! Can't wait for the next chapter! It's sooooo dark too! Really fits well and makes it even more interesting! Please continue! :)
| randypandy11 too chapter 3 . 6/3
"Sex!" Brock stated proudly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
| Fallen Phoenix chapter 10 . 5/28
good chapter! Liking the flow of the story, so keep up the excellent work!
| DarkLucario2 chapter 10 . 5/26
i really like this story. I like how deep the the plot is basically the same betrayal story, but creative and better.
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/19
This story is wired and you're righting flashbacks every ware and it's becoming confusing to read
| randypandy11 chapter 10 . 5/14
This is a really good story and also will the traitors make an appearance in the future?
| Ace of Spies chapter 10 . 5/12
Muahahahaahhahaa! Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice... Good to see that Ash can't run away from his past like he thought he could.
Tcht. I'll catch you later then. But... hmmm... nah just thinking lol
| Flipnhaole chapter 10 . 5/12
I was kind of hoping he would be apathetic to May. I don't think love can run deep in such a short period of time. The kind of mental breakdown he's having is for people who have been together for at least like five years or something. I think so anyway. Never mind moving on, I wouldn't give a shit about someone who would willingly believe the words of random people over your own boyfriend. Meh, let's just cut all emotional ties with her and move on. To Cynthia obviously.
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/10
amazing chapter and please continue writing
| IchiIchi chapter 10 . 5/10
Nice... nice progression