Reviews for Whelm
Hollyfic chapter 1 . 5/15
I loved this. This Edward and Bella are cute, in a weird way you know? And the lemon was really hot. Like REALLY HOT. I'm surprised that this has so little reviews, it deserves way more. Thank you for sharing. Now I'll read your others fics Lol bye!
Guest chapter 1 . 4/8
Another superficial Bella you've written here, eh? She only sleeps with Edward because (as Rose says) he's a "hot piece of ass" actor. She takes no consideration of her friendship with Alice, just hooks up with Alice's brother.

I felt no chemistry between these two, except mutual distaste. I didn't sense the anger turning into passion. Just because Bella says "I feel passion..." doesn't mean it translates.

And Edward? He knows his sister cares about Bella a lot. I don't understand his motivation in thinking that Bella is just another tramp trying to get into his pants (well, that's what she ends up being anyway, right? So maybe his spidey-senses were good, after all). Why treat his sister's good friend like crap? His Hollywood life may be full of set ups, but not with his sister.

Although, thinking about it, what kind of sister puts her famous brother out there in public when all he probably wants is privacy? I suppose this could be one of the manager's "set-ups" as well (public appearance with his family),

I could get with the program better if Edward and Bella were two random people who didn't have a person in common.

But Edward never proves himself to be anything but an a$$hole.

And this Bella, who seems kind and considerate, just sleeps with her friend's famous brother, making her the type of person that she insists she's not.

And how desperate does she seem with their last interaction:

E: "I've been such a dick to you tonight."

B: "I don't care...I'll give you everything."

Another pathetic Bella (Mind you, read carefully: NOT a pathetic STORY. NOT a pathetic AUTHOR. IMHO...a pathetic CHARACTER). Again, I like low-self-esteem Bellas, but not this one.

Great grammar and the story flows well. But, such unlikeable characters. I got the feeling that there was supposed to be some deeper connection between them, but all I saw was a tawdry hook-up, with Bella taking anything she can from someone who seems to despise her (or at most, seems kind of indifferent to her).
TayTay13196 chapter 1 . 6/20/2014
Is there going to be more to this story
sharonjane chapter 1 . 4/28/2014
Loved it. What a complex, tormented character he is and feisty Bella is more than a match for him. Would love to see you extend this, I can see a fantastic longer story in it.
Sharon
Guest chapter 1 . 4/27/2014
awwww
left in bits chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
I really liked this. I usually steer clear of "actorwards" as imo they're usually either too smarmy or too wussy/sensitive - neither is an ideal and this they're often unrealistic. This one, though, was likable in his somewhat rude complexes and very real. I enjoyed these two.
morena.davidson.3 chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Awesome chapter...makes a great start for a longer story. Would love it if you expanded it. Thanks for sharing. Co
EeWee chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Beautiful and sweet.
kreads chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
This is so intriguing. Love the characterization of Bella.
grabadietcoke chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
This was really moving - I totally teared up when she confronted him. Great one shot - could easily expand but stands alone very well.
TheRugbymom chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Really nice! Good job!
tulips3 chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Are you continuing this?
Taylor9901 chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Will there be more? I really like it.
snoopylover60 chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Oh my. You have to continue this. It amazing! Poor Edward! Lost in Hollywood's BS! The native-ish Bella. Such a great story :-)
eesti chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Crazy wish fulfilment! Totally whelmed. Thank you.
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