|Reviews for Path Towards Absolution|
| Reisbig2009 chapter 39 . 6/19/2016
Looking forward to reading the updates and new chapters that you release. I know it is hard considering that I struggle with it a little bit too, but keep your head up. Great job!
| Reisbig2009 chapter 18 . 6/16/2016
Everything up to this point seemed pretty good but for some reason the flow of this chapter was rough. I know you had reasons for events happening the way that they did, however I would have expected the rebelling benders to have a better idea of when the event started if they were placing people on the inside. This in turn would have caused the attack to begin sooner and prevent Mako from losing his fire bending and Tahno from being wounded as a result. This is still a great and exciting read though!
| Reisbig2009 chapter 4 . 6/15/2016
After reading this chapter I hope Shaozu discovers that Tahno is still alive.
| asa chapter 39 . 5/11/2015
| FoadU'Pad chapter 1 . 3/3/2015
Just finished chapter 39, and just how stupid are the Triads? They Publicly kidnap the daughter of a senior government official, the CEO of the single largest corporation on the planet, and a cop! In this world the police would have every known or suspected member of any Triad in jail inside on 6 hours. If they didn't then the remaining members of the council would have the military in under martial law to do it for them, irregardless of Tenzin's role as a council member or Avatar Korra. This isn't some shop keeper or a turf war between Triads this is a war against the rest of the society. And if the Republic government does cave to the Triad's demands the remaining 3 governments will invade to maintain "Law & Order" to keep this from happening in their nations. If there is no blood spilled on both sides then this will truly be a fantasy aimed at the preteen market and really does not deserve the "M" rating the sex has given this story. I am very unimpressed with how this is going.
Buddhist philosophy aside Lin is a career Cop, Iroh was raised to rule the Fire Nation & is a professional career Officer in the New Republic military, both trained in the use of deadly force, as well as the members of the forces they command. If you can't see where that would lead then talk to a Cop, Solider, or someone who was to find out, because I'm beginning to see Unicorns here.
| Distant-Moon chapter 26 . 8/23/2014
This chapter was intriguing for a lot of reasons. For instance, your theme of karma and how everything is connected? You managed to demonstrate that not just in the dialogue (as Eska is explaining to Korra about the creation of the Avatar and just how minute the balance is that she is tasked to protect-every action has a cause and effect, whether positive or negative), but in plot as well. And I especially love that it doesn't JUST apply to Korra-for example, Mako's current situation may arguably be attributed (at least partially) to Tahno and his grudge against Amon preventing him from obtaining crucial knowledge about what's going on.
Content-wise, this is brilliant to read. On the other hand, you tend to have the characters solely referring to Tahno as "Pretty Boy" or "the Former Waterbender." They're allowed to use his actual name, and I feel like it would feel more organic that way. If you were talking to someone about a person you knew, you'd use their name nine times out of ten, right? And while Korra does refer to Tahno as "Pretty Boy" in canon, she only does it only once or twice in the show, while in your story she seems to call him that instead of using his name at all.
I think this is because you're putting so much effort into your narration (which is good, btw!) that you let your narrator's voice bleed into the character's dialogue. You want to make sure that you keep your way of phrasing things strictly to narration (as you describe actions and plot stuff). When it comes time for a character's line, make sure they're talking like themselves. One trick I find that works really well for me is to imagine that character reading the dialogue you've written out loud. If you can actually hear their voice in your head, and it sounds genuinely like their voice in the show, then the line is a keeper. (I struggle with this sometimes, but it's also the most fun for me to try to hear the character speaking through me as I write).
Keep in mind that you have the characters actions down to something perfectly in character and in alignment with your story's theme, and that's awesome. It's just the dialogue (more so as the story progresses) that needs a bit of improvement. But you're still doing an amazing job in terms of setting up future plot points, creating drama, and getting your point across in your writing. - And you have some really positive messages, too. Like that scene with Kanani, Asami, and Shaozu explaining their bonds with Tahno, how they accept him regardless of his orientation, how Asami admits to being attacted to Korra and how she hopes things work out between Tahno and Mako (both for admittedly selfish reasons and a genuine desire to see Tahno happy with someone he loves). That whole exchange warmed my heart and served as a nice contrast to Hiroshi's hatred and prejudice. Kanani's relationship with Tahno is almost like a foil to Hiroshi's relationship with Asami, and it was well-played, Mara. I think that was my favorite scene this whole chapter!
I'm wondering (since Korrasami seems to be the direction this story is moving in) at what point Korra is going to start feeling physical attraction...or noticing her physical attraction to Asami. Not that I have anything to worry about considering how you handled Mako and Tahno's developing attraction to one another and their relationship thereafter, but it is rather late in the story, and I don't think Korra would just out of the blue fall in love with Asami given how torn up she is over Mako. Rather, I can see Asami being there for Korra after the fact, and how Korra starts to warm to Asami more as a result, and as time goes on she starts to feel not just gratitude, but a deepening emotional bond and the growing awareness of physical attraction. And maybe it would even confuse Korra since she's been isolated at the White Lotus compound since she was a kid, and probably is only just becoming aware of same-gender relationships with Mako and Tahno.
A-ha! I was right about Eska helping Korra work through her guilt. I think that was exactly what she needed to hear, too. Right now she's just beating herself up for her past mistakes, and that's not going to help anybody unless she snaps out of it and takes action. Korra also needed to understand that Tahno's dreams about Mako weren't just his own erotic fantasies towards her boyfriend. I think Korra's hurt feelings were preventing her from accepting certain realities, just like how Tahno's grudge against Amon was preventing him from listening to what he had to say. Unless she gets over it (as understandable as her feelings are) there are undoubtedly going to be consequences...ah, I love that theme! It's literally everywhere in your story!
Anyway, Korra needs to understand that Tahno isn't some perverted schemer trying to break up her and Mako. He wants to save Mako as much as she does. He is just as worried about the situation as she is. Tahno isn't the one being selfish in this instance (rather, the opposite, if you think about it; he's willing to give up his romantic ties to Mako so that he and Korra can be together-he'd even give up his own life to save him and the world). It's cool how much growth Tahno went through as a character, and I'm certain Korra is on the path for personal growth as well. It just needs time. She's making progress, though, and I'm very glad to see that. It gives me hope that things will work out in the end.
But something about Desna strikes me as a bit odd. He seems to have had very little role in everything that's happening so far, and it kind of makes me nervous for some reason. He's definitely the creepier out of the two twins...at least, in your story he is. Was he spying on the conversation?
We'll see soon enough, I guess. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I dunno, though. Next chapter! Ahoy!
| Distant-Moon chapter 25 . 8/23/2014
I can't imagine a more tense and awkward situation than Korra and Tahno having to sit side by side and learn about spiritual matters-all with that huge elephant in the room regarding karma and Korra's choice to not return Tahno's bending back when she had the chance, all because of Mako...that's huge. Korra's definitely under a lot of pressure, knowing that if things don't play out a certain way she won't be able to fix things and give Mako and Tahno and everyone else their bending back. As the Avatar, Korra tends to put everyone's fate on her shoulders (as she arguably should, given her role in the world). And it's very in character for her to lash out under the strain of guilt and pressure. I think her blowing up during Unalaq's lesson was well played out, and even having Tahno being so distracted with worry over his mother and Mako and Asami...and everyone...it's very realistic.
Eska is also an interesting character to watch in this chapter. Her spiritual presence is almost as strong as Tahno's...just different in nature. Actually, I'd say it's more in line with Jinora's spiritual powers. They both have a keen sense of things, have a heightened awareness of spirits and the messages they are trying to impart on their human worshipers, and have the empathy to reach out and connect to both man and spirit alike. In a way, it makes me wonder if Eska was trained in healing-not as a sexist thing (though it certainly would be in alignment with the Northern Water Tribe's traditions and beliefs), but simply because I think she'd have a knack in it. I hope she can reach out to Korra and help her work through her guilt so that she can focus on the mission ahead...for her own sake and for the sake of the world.
Yeah, it definitely sucks to be the Avatar. Korra is human, VERY human, but she has to constantly put the needs of others over her own. She's not allowed to be selfish or petty in the slightest, lest the spirits strike her down for her arrogance. And it sucks for her because she's a teenage girl. Having to put so much restraint on herself is going to be a challenge for her...but maybe it's not simply about holding yourself back completely. Maybe Korra needs to find a better balance between her two selves-the human and the spirit within her. Because I think if she became completely and utterly spiritual, that would be scary bad, too. She needs the human part of her to keep her grounded in the physical plane, so she doesn't lose attachment to the world she's trying to protect.
I'm glad Tahno was able to get through to Unrak and help him break free of his possession. Too bad it was too late to save Kanani, but now we know that she's with Hiroshi and he definitely needs her alive to make use of her healing abilities. Still...I can't say that I envy her, and I especially don't envy Asami one bit. Seriously, what kind of twisted asshat uses his own daughter as a sacrifice to bring back his wife? That's as disgusting as what Shou Tucker did to his daughter Nina in Fullmetal Alchemist. O_O Good job painting Hiroshi as a fanatical villain-so consumed by hatred, revenge, and obsession that it destroys anything human and good within him. Seriously. I get chills thinking about what he's planning to do to Asami. I want Asami to get free and feed him his own teeth with that electrified glove of hers.
Ahem. Anyway, I'm moving on to the next chapter. Great job so far! I'm loving this!
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/14/2014
Everything about the way you right has me hooked. Yet, why does mako believe he has the right to make tahno prove to him he deserves his bending back? Like wtf dude? I've always felt mako was a little controlling in Lol but gosh he needs to slow his roll before someone makes his head tool.
| Lynn364 chapter 34 . 8/16/2014
This story, I love it, and I get so excited when a new chapter comes out. I found this story when it was about 30 or 31 chapters in and now, I just can't wait and see what else will happen! It has my fav sparring KorraxAsami and I'm starting to like MakoxTahno ;v; can't wait for more and see how Korea and Asami' relationship forms.
| pathogencontrol chapter 2 . 8/15/2014
I'm sick of mako thinking he has the right to make tahno earn his bending back and act all hurt over a sporting event. You don't act negative to victim especially when don't want to admit to themselves that they're one. I know mako has had it rough but not everyone is lucky to have someone like he does. I hope he quits that junk. Overall, I love your writing its has me hooked.
| Anon chapter 2 . 8/2/2014
I just don't understand why Tahno has to 'prove' himself to Mako. Cheating in a game is nothing. It's not like he killed people or terrorized anyone. Tenzin and Mako should have told him immediately that there was still hope of getting his bending back. If Zuko could be forgiven for attempting to KILL Aang several times, then Tahno can be forgiven for cheating in a stupid game. After all that Tahno appears to have gone through, he deserves that. Mako should know better than anyone else what the loss of someone's bending can do to them.
| Distant-Moon chapter 24 . 7/2/2014
This. This chapter right here tied everything together. Absolutely brilliant! -
And holy crap! Korra's confrontation with Koh was so tense-there was a lot of secrets and impending drama boiling under the skin, unable to boil over without immediate retribution from the face-stealer. When Tahno finds out that Korra and Mako deliberately didn't give him his bending back, he's going to be really, REALLY pissed. Especially since it permanently impacted Ming's karmic destiny, putting him in the position where his sacrifice was necessary. Essentially, he had to die because of their decision.
I mean, he already knew that Mako was keeping the secret initially, that it was even possible to have Tahno's bending restored. But that's completely different from Mako and Korra intentionally withholding their bending due to their unresolved grudge over the championship match. He is going to be furious.
And Korra's going to FLIP a SHIT when she finds out that Tahno slept with Mako...and will probably have to do it again to save his life. Sheesh. I hope she doesn't have to watch, too. That would just be rubbing salt in a festering wound.
But everything you put into this regarding karmic destiny and balance was very well-executed. You wove it around your entire story, which must have taken a lot if careful planning and consideration of cause and effect. I simply have to applaud you for that.
It's going to be interesting watching Korra and Tahno walk on eggshells around each other. I hope they can resolve their issues soon, before it impacts Asami's fate, as well as that of the whole world. I can't wait to find out what happens next. :)
| Distant-Moon chapter 23 . 6/25/2014
Wow. Unalaq and the twins sure are different from the show, but I really like these portrayals of them. I already accept this story as an AU, and this is honestly how I think Unalaq would be like if he had a better relationship with his brother, Tonraq, and his own children. He would still be a deeply spiritual man who would make sure to pass his teachings on to Eska and Desna. The closer bond with their father would make the twins warmer, more friendly people in general.
It was interesting to see Eska's connection to Yue, as well. Both are/were princesses of the Northern Water Tribe. I wonder if Desna has a similar connection to the Ocean spirit. I think it would be really cool if we saw more of Desna, but then again, I really want to see what happens to the other characters, too.
Like, seriously! Who nabbed Kanani this time? Will Ozai let Unraq go free? Will Korra and Tahno be able to stop Hiroshi? Will Mako be okay? Will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions? NEVER!
Another great chapter. - I love this fic.
| Distant-Moon chapter 22 . 6/23/2014
Oh, SNAP. How the heck did Hiroshi find Asami so quickly? Secret spirit spy network? (Okay, yeah, probably). It just sucks for the Krew that their enemy has resources like invisible spies who can possess people at his disposal. It's practically unfair, but then again since when are villains fair and sporting?
NICE sky battle! I finally got what I was eagerly waiting for. Getting to see Lin and Iroh going head to head against Hiroshi's mecha was just what the doctor ordered. It sucks that they lost, though. But then again, I think it's going to come down to Korra and Tahno to save the world.
And holy crap! Mako's getting weaker and is even possibly dying because he transferred energy to Tahno earlier. Which means there's a damn good chance Korra's going to find out that they slept together. I mean, you just KNOW she's going to be more than curious about why he's suddenly deteriorating and won't leave without answers. I feel really bad for her...well, for all of them, actually. Mako's sick; Tahno's losing the man he loves, his mother, and whatever fragile friendship he had with Korra (maybe even his own life depending on how all this plays out); and Korra's dealing with the potential death of her boyfriend, the truth of his betrayal, and perhaps even greater retribution from the spirits. That SUCKS and I would really hate to be them right now.
Uuuggggh! I hope they'll be okay! Ack! I have to keep reading! I just noticed you added more chapters and the timing couldn't be better. Thanks!
| Distant-Moon chapter 21 . 6/19/2014
Oh, snap. Mako's really not doing well at all. I'm getting worried that Koh's greater demand of sacrifice from Korra and Mako is coming to pass sooner than we thought. I hope the others catch up soon (but I imagine that they will since Hiroshi is getting overconfident and keeps stopping to attack random benders with his machine; what a tool that guy is).
I'm glad Korra and Tahno worked things out, but I could sense a whole heap of awkward between them. I don't think they entirely forgave each other, but they're putting their differences aside for the sake of saving their friends. I dunno, though. I feel like neither one actually gave the other an apology, so they haven't entirely moved past the Mako issue just yet.
Which is totally fine. Korra wouldn't just drop her feelings for Mako at the toss of a hat. Technically, she hasn't lost him yet. I get the feeling that she would try to struggle to keep him (because she doesn't give up without a fight) and Tahno would try to hold back his feelings for Mako's sake, and Mako is going to have to make a choice.
I am sensing a hint of Korrasami emerging soon, and I like the idea. But if you're going to have Korra end up with Asami, make sure you don't rush their relationship. I'm looking forward to seeing the slow, steady progression of their developing feelings for each other. Korra needs to get over Mako before she can move on with someone else.
Then again, you handled Mako x Tahno excellently, so I think Korra x Asami will work out fine (unless I'm wrong and reading into things too much; if so, just ignore my rambling). Anyway, I love how realistic this live triangle is. It's as complicated and confusing for them as it would be in real life. - Anyway, I'm off to read the next chapter. See you soon!