Reviews for Harry Potter and the Peverell Legacy
peg441asus chapter 61 . 5/22
I hate i
Sandra chapter 61 . 5/21
What a rotten place to stop. Your story is great and well written, I love how you convey emotions and emotional situations. I'll look forward to the next arc.
alix33 chapter 17 . 5/15
“the Gryffindors”, not “the Gryffindor’s”.
Hey there, Buckbeak (as I can think of only one hippogriff that would throw such a tantrum at Harry not picking you to ride).
“horse-riding” should be hyphenated.
“riding is a pastime”, not ‘riding is a past time”.
“They make for great mounts since as a breed”, not ‘They make for great mounts as a breed”.
“the beast’s wings”, not “the beasts wings”.
“a controlled effortless descent”, not “effortless decent”.
“when I was very young and”, not ‘when I was very and”.
“light-heartedness” should be hyphenated.
“the most difficult and uncomfortable riding he”, not “the difficult and uncomfortable riding he”.
“outmatched” should be one word.
“Italian Renaissance”, not “Italian renaissance”.
“had been working overtime”, not “had been working in overdrive”.
“tryouts” should be one word.
“twenty-five” should be hyphenated.
“head-on collision”, not “head on collision”.
“grasped Harry’s hand”, not “grasped Harrys hand’.
EW! At how much Horace Slughorn resembles Vernon Dursley.
“What are you here to teach’, not “hear to teach”.
Yay for Hermione picking up so quickly that Slughorn is prejudiced.
“Your Heads of Houses’, not “Yours Heads of Houses”.
“four entries”, not “four entrees”.
“from the Slytherins”, not “from the Slytherin’s”.
“the Hufflepuffs were”, not “the Hufflepuff’s were”.
“enjoy dessert”, not “enjoy desert”.
“good at Quidditch”, not “good a Quidditch”.
“’try out for something new”, not “try-out for something new”.
“my gran’s ghastly hat”, not “my grans ghastly hat”.
“desserts were cleared away”, not “deserts were cleared away”.
alix33 chapter 16 . 5/15
I didn’t know there were muscle relaxants in potion form, for witches and wizards to take.
I’ve never eaten jam with my porridge and I’ve been eating porridge (oats or maize meal and a very few times sorghum) for almost longer than 45 years. Which flavour jam? And what kind of porridge underneath the jam?
“down from the Headmaster’s office”, not “down for the Headmaster’s office”.
“Potions master”, not “potion master”.
“Lord Black who is in the political spotlight’, not “Lord Black who is a in the political spot light”.
“Harry’s had stayed the same”, not “Harrys had stayed”.
“you went rushing past us”, not “rushing passed us”.
“Remus Lupin has been given sanctuary”, not “Remus Lupin has been giving sanctuary”.
“escort our guests”, not “escort are guests”.
“The Peverells have never”, not “The Peverell’s have never”.
“marry brothers and sisters”, not “marry brother and sisters”.
“parseltongue”, not “parsletongue”.
“Tom Riddle’s Diary”, not “Tom Riddles Diary”.
“Riddle’s diary”, not “Riddles diary”.
“tryouts” should be one word.
“a number of the portraits’ faces”, not “portraits faces”.
“Harry breathed out a sigh of relief”, not “Harry breath out a sigh of relief”.
“the statue of a woman”, not “the statue of the a women”.
“As he stepped into the passageway the bookshelf immediately rolled back”, not “As he stepped into the passageway he the bookshelf immediately rolled back”.
“Mr Filch heard the alarm”, not “Mr filch were heard the alarm”.
“You cannot sack me, Headmaster,”, not “You cannot sack me Headmaster”.
“gamekeeper”, not “games keeper”.
“a note tucked into it’, not “a note tucked in to it”.
“fighting by your side”, not “fighting by your sides”.
alix33 chapter 15 . 5/11
“such as Slumber Stools”, not “such as a Slumber Stools”.
“sent up a plume of pollen”, not “send up a plume of pollen”.
“purebloods’ lack of muggle knowledge”, not “purebloods lack of”.
“great-great-aunt’s”, not “great, great aunt’s”.
“It’s Polyjuice potion”, not “Its Polyjuice”.
“for a short period of time”, not “for short period of time”.
“red-handed” should be hyphenated.
“as much of a dunderhead”, not “as much as a dunderhead”.
“truth-telling” should be hyphenated.
“it’s liquid luck”, not “its liquid luck”.
“bluish”, not “blue-ish”.
“give off the blue vapours”, not “give of the”.
“remembering too late”, not “remembered too late”.
“blackcurrant coloured potion”, not “black current coloured”.
“counter-clockwise” should be hyphenated.
“cheat off of”, not “cheat from”.
“tryouts” should be one word.
“wish to try out”, not “wish to try-out”.
“following your own instincts”, not “following you own”.
“and will not be as potent”, not “and with not be a potent”.
“close-minded”, not “closed minded”.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Harry’s “you should always question things”.
“walked past the alcove”, not “walked passed the alcove”.
“painting that concealed the entrance”, not “painting the concealed the entrance”.
“sausage roll”, not “sausage role”.
“not entirely unusual for Neville”, not “not entirely unusually for”.
“look past a book”, not “look passed a book”.
“differ at NEWT level from what you”, not “differ at NEWST level that what you”.
“warn you of the dangers”, not “warn you on the dangers”.
“is a containment ward based”, not “is containment ward based”.
“mentioned it in passing”, not “mentioned in in passing”.
“therefore rendering”, not “therefore rending”.
“add to Miss Granger’s answer”, not “add on Miss Grangers answer”.
“hybrideal”, not “hybridual”.
“simpler”, not “more simple”.
“not a single person raised their hand”, not “not a single person raise their hand”.
“are the original form of writing”, not “are the original form writing”.
“off-topic” should be hyphenated.
“and turn to chapter one”, not “and turned to chapter one”.
“sunbeams” should be one word.
“looked to be having”, not “looked to having”.
“you are outperforming”, not “you our outperforming”.
“you are taking to them”, not “you a taking to them”.
“it’s scaring me”, not “its scaring me”.
“many magics”, not “many magic’s”.
“refuse to see things outside of it”, not “refuse to see thing outside”.
“based the runes off of the effects”, not “based the runes of the effects”.
“said in an annoyed tone”, not “said in annoyed tone”.
“most of the circle’s definition”, not “circles definition”.
“foolproof” should be one word.
“but it would stop”, not “but it was stop”.
“enter the wielder’s nose”, not “enter the wielders nose”.
“Arithmancy”, not “Arithmacy”.
“What if professor Lupin has got loose”, not “What is professor”.
“and the portrait did not move”, not “an portrait did not move”.
“overfill” should be one word.
BTW, I LOVED the idea of the runic scheme Harry was working on. Except I think Harry will have to do loads of self-study of Arithmancy to improve his runic schemes in future, if Hermione’s contribution is anything to go by.
“headmaster’s office”, not “headmasters office”.
“his paw pounded into the door”, not “his pounded into the door”.
“placed onto it”, not “placed on to it”.
“creature’s body”, not “creatures body”.
“was affecting him sporadically”, not “was effecting him”.
“changed both arm’s”, not “changed both arms”.
“defeated by the severe pain”, not “defeated but the severe pain”.
I wonder who was it who unlocked/left open/left ajar wherever Remus was for his transformation?
“and the magic that kept them remaining”, not “and the magic that kept remaining them”.
“raised his hackles and bared”, not “raised his hackles bared”.
“was suddenly tackled”, not “was suddenly tacked”.
“dash past him”, not “dash passed him”.
“jaws and limbs”, not “jaw and limbs”.
“head to toe in blood”, not “head to two in blood”.
“four-legged” should be hyphenated.
“he could get”, not “he could got”.
“as he became worried”, not “as became worried”.
Did you mean “writhe in agony”, or “rive in agony”? (since both are applicable)
“worse in reverse”, not “worse it reverse”.
“Werewolf’s venom”, not “Werewolves venom”.
Poor Sirius. Harry’s animagus direwolf venom is affecting him badly from that bite.
“looked days old”, not “looks days old”.
alix33 chapter 14 . 5/11
“teachers’ notes”, not “teachers notes”.
“Headmaster’s chair”, not “Headmasters chair”.
“Headmaster’s office”, not “Headmasters office”.
“Headmaster’s private library”, not “Headmasters private library”.
“Dumbledore’s plan”, not “Dumbledores plan”.
“offhandedly” should be one word.
“could feel as something pulsed at him”, not “could feel a something pulse at him”.
“suck at potions”, not “suck a potions”.
“nonverbal” should be one word.
“a few seconds’ advantage”, not “a few seconds advantage”.
“straightaway” should be one word.
“and with the thought”, not “and with thought”.
“Show-offs” should be hyphenated.
“cat’s head”, not “cats head”.
“a more powerful shield charm”, not “a more powerful shield charms”.
“wavered slightly”, not “waivered slightly”.
“dressing-down”, not “dress down”.
“overexertion” should be one word.
alix33 chapter 13 . 5/11
“introduce his fiancée”, not “introduce his fiancé”.
“at Dumbledore’s funeral” or “at the Dumbledore funeral”, not “at Dumbledore funeral”.
“wastepaper” should be one word.
As should “sidetracked”.
AW! at how Dobby and Kreacher is fussing over Harry.
“We at The Prophet”, not “We at the prophet”.
“I am a year too old and a year too young”, not “I am year to old”.
“draught of tea”, not “drought of tea”.
“questioned my father’s participation’, not “my father’s participants”.
“Malfoy’s standing”, not “Malfoys standing”.
“Lord Black’s return”, not “Lord Blacks return”.
“Lucius Malfoy’s failure”, not “Lucius Malfoys failure”.
“his flowering mimbulus mimbletonia”, not “flowered mimbulus”.
“walked past”, not “walked passed”.
“the Weasleys”, not “the Weasleys”.
Jeez, keeping their patroni up for two hours!
“Headmaster’s chair”, not “Headmasters chair”.
“twenty-five” should be hyphenated.
“the Governors’ choice”, not “the Governors choice”.
“he said, pausing at the intake”, not “said paused at the intake”.
“half-blood” should be hyphenated.
“The Gryffindors however were looking at Harry’, not “were looked at Harry”.
“The Gryffindors didn’t say”, not “the Gryffindor’s didn’t”.
“paid off our remaining hospital bills”, not “paid of our”.
“desserts finally cleared away”, not “deserts finally”.
“Beauxbatons to an equestrian”, not “Beauxbatons is an equestrian”.
“Durmstrang to a Duelling”, not “Durmstrang Duelling”.
“the prospect of competing”, not “the prospect competing”.
“off-limits” should be hyphenated.
“overshadowed” should be one word.
“Smithes”, not “Smithe’s”.
alix33 chapter 12 . 5/10
“her students’ safety”, not “her student’s safety”.
“for its teaching”, not “for is teaching”.
“walk past”, not “walk passed”.
“his eyes into the wolf’s”, not “his eyes into the wolves”.
“overcompensate” should be one word.
“his Uncle’s car”, not “his Uncles car”.
“pushing past him”, not “pushing passed him”.
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Harry’s silencing charms on those only ever allegedly grown-up and adult Dursleys.
“for the Dursleys”, not “for the Dursley’s”.
“our ministry’s protections”, not “our ministries protections”.
“hot-tempered” should be hyphenated.
“the Dursleys”, not “the Dursley’s”.
“the Dursleys’ belongings”, not “the Dursley’s belongings”.
“Weasleys”, not “Weasley’s”.
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the way Tonks snapped at Ron.
“the Weasleys’ benefit”, not “the Weasley’s benefit”.
“countless times”, not “countless time”.
“book lists” should be two words.
“Longbottoms were safe”, not “Longbottom’s were safe”.
“the Longbottoms to be”, not “the Longbottom’s to be”.
Yay! for what Sirius did for Frank and Alice, even though they are in no state to appreciate it.
“its curriculum”, not “it curriculum”.
“policy on who”, not “policy to who”.
“different from”, not “different to”.
“open-minded” should be hyphenated.
“are key parts”, not “a key parts”.
“Weasleys”, not “Weasley’s”.
“head-butted” should be hyphenated.
“his face changed”, not “he face changed”.
“dead-end” in the larger phrase “dead-end job” should be hyphenated.
“St. Mungo’s”, not “St. Mungos”.
“boys’ shop”, not “boys shop”.
“walked past”, not “walked passed”.
“Miss Granger’s Muggle money”, not “Miss Grangers Muggle money”.
“goblin’s directness”, not “goblins directness”.
“Whichever Black Vault”, not “Which ever Black Vault”.
“having never used the carts”, not “used to carts”.
“Sirius then placed”, not “Sirius then place”.
“moneybags” should be one word.
“Madam Malkin’s”, not “Madam Malkins”.
“wizard’s duel”, not “wizards duel”.
“His father’s son”, not “His father son”.
“striding past”, not “striding passed”.
“Lord Black’s words”, not “Lord Blacks words”.
“twenty-five” should be hyphenated.
“were at Flourish and Blotts”, not “were a Flourish”.
“It’s light reading”, not “Its light reading”.
“twins’ shop”, not “twin’s shop”.
“sons’ shop”, not “sons shop”.
“eye-watering” should be hyphenated.
“U-No-Poo”, not “U-Know-Poo”’.
Yay! for how well those Skiving Snackboxes are selling.
“spellchecking” should be one word.
“people whose thoughts”, not “people whose thought”.
“perfect for History of Magic”, not “perfect of history of magic”.
“yourselves”, not “your selves”.
“sleek and shiny”, not “sleek and shiney”.
“Miniature Puffskeins”, not “Miniature Puffskein’s”.
“high-pitched” should be hyphenated.
“Whose child”, not “Who’s child”.
“schoolboy” should be one word.
alix33 chapter 11 . 5/10
“inadvertently”, not ‘in avertedly”.
“make-up” should be hyphenated.
“a light buffing”, not “a light buffering”.
“wandmaker” should be one word, not two words or hyphenated (which is the two ways you have already spelled/written it in this chapter).
“on the continent there are many”, not “there a many”.
“Weasleys”, not “Weasley’s”.
“emotional outbursts”, not “emotional outburst”.
“his father’s attack”, not “his father attack”.
“carriages”, not “carridges”.
The mental pics of those garishly and oddly dressed mourners made me smile.
“shopkeepers” should be one word.
“Mrs Weasley’s favourite singer”, not “Mrs Weasley favour singer”.
“Incals”, not “Incal’s”.
“had run the OWL exams”, not “had ran the OWL exams”.
“marquee-sized”, not “marque sized”.
“redheads” should be one word.
As should “teammates”.
“good-naturedly” should be hyphenated.
“heard a large sob”, not “head a large sob”.
“Harry’s throat”, not “Harrys throat”.
“table cloth-sized”, not “table cloth sized”.
“half-brother’s emotions”, not “half-brothers emotions”.
“pat Grawp’s knee’, not “pat Grawp’ knee”.
“tufty-haired”, not “tufty haired”.
AW! At those house elves all popping near dressed in mourning black.
“beaten to the front”, not “beaten to front”.
“Aberforth’s wand”, not “Abeforths wand”.
“merchieftain” should be one word.
“they let loose”, not “the let loose”.
AW! At the mental pic (which made me tear up something horrid) of the Hogwarts house elves’ raised little arms and the blue, respectful sparks they conjured.
“who had witnessed the aftermath of” or “who had seen the aftermath of”, not “who had seen witnesses the aftermath”.
“low-level job”, not “low level job”.
“not only as a brilliant teacher”, not “only for a brilliant”.
“but he was appalled at the need to resolve”, not “he appalled the need”.
“others queued”, not “other queued”.
“Mad-Eye” should be hyphenated.
“Whose idea”, not “Who’s idea”.
“bark-like laugh echoed”, not “bark-like laughed echoed”.
“affect your form”, not “effect your form”.
“have to apparate”, not “have to apparate”.
“able to use portkeys”, not “able to use portkey’s”.
Hey there, Telvar! Pleased to meet you!
“Shepherd’s pie”, not “Shepard’s pie”.
“Master’s dinner”, not “Masters dinner”.
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the paragraph Harry started by “I didn’t give them much choice”.
“broad-shouldered” should be hyphenated.
“overprotective” should be one word.
As should “offhand”.
“right-hand” in the larger phrase “right-hand side” should be hyphenated.
“upstairs” should be one word.
Just once, I want an Order member to silencio Molly Weasley the hell up as she hits her stride with that sodding infernal shrieking.
“his father’s words”, not “his father’s word”.
Yay! for Ginny glaring at the scene her mother is making.
“the manufacturer knows”, not “the manufacture knows”.
“wandmaker” should be one word.
“glaring at the twins”, not “glaring at the twin”.
“was definitely an impostor”, not “was defiantly an impostor”.
AW! At how proud McGonagall sounds when she’s discussing the DA with the rest of the Order for the first time there.
I loved Harry’s smirk at Moody’s annoyed look.
I like the sound of those martial mages. If the Order could get a few of those over here (in Britain, I mean) to help with the war effort against Tom Riddle junior and his minions, it would be ace.
“governors’ approval”, not “governor’s approval”.
“and the ministry’s”, not “and the ministries”.
Nickie Kalla chapter 50 . 5/10
This is my first review for you and I have read the previous book you wrote as well. I am pleased that the book keeps getting better and better. I think that Harry in this book is much less of a prat than in the last one. And that you have stopped using the word Whilst all the time. That was driving me a little crazy, especially during your first book. Harry wasn't born noble but he starts talking like one way too early in book one. Your dialogue in book two seems much more natural and flows much better than in book one. Harry needs to loosen up a bit though. Where is the MARAUDER in him? I would think that Serious's influence of the prankster Guardian would start to rub off a little more. Harry has a lot on his plate but I still think his wonder and amazement of magic and wht it can do should still shine through. Other than these few minor criticisms I LOVE YOUR STORY! Serious is my favorite character and I always thought that it was way too tragic to kill off Serious, Dumbledore and Dobby. The time turner was the perfect save and J.K. Rawling should have thought of it :) I mean it was right next door! So NICELY DONE! I love the politics of the wizarding world! Don't drop the family alliance parts. Certain families should be won over by Harry and then of course the whole obscure 'Family Magic' should be further investigated. Also bringing Flamel into your story... BRILLIANT! I Look forward to reading the rest of the book. Thank you for the great read!
alix33 chapter 10 . 5/9
‘halfway” should be one word.
“the rings’ connection”, not “the rings connection”.
“five outstandings”, not “five outstanding’s”.
‘markings receded”’, not “reseeded”.
“watched his father’s uncontrollable rage”, not “father uncontrollable rage”.
“mausoleum of an old family”, not “mausoleum to an old family”.
“single-handed” should be hyphenated.
“personal journals”, not “personnel journals”.
“Lord Greengrass’ actions”, not “Lord Greengrass actions”.
“ace up his sleeve”, not “ace in his sleeve”.
“how to apparate”, not “how to apperated”.
“without success at apparition”, not “success of apparition”.
Ted and Harry getting along so well and having such fun made me smile.
“give a greeting”, not “give greeting”.
“ask about people’s health”, not “of people’s health”.
“test a flier’s abilities”, not “test a fliers abilities”.
“underprepared” should be one word.
“twenty-three” should be hyphenated.
As should “good-naturedly”.
alix33 chapter 9 . 5/9
“she was quite likeable”, not “quiet likeable”.
“gave her and used them”, not “gave her used them”.
“ashamed of what I did”, not “ashamed with what”.
“Daniel saw it, raised his brows”, not “saw at raised his brows”.
“gestured for him”, not “gestured from him”.
“of that I have no doubt”, not “of that I do not doubt”.
“I know her better”, not “I do not know her better”.
“quick-witted” should be hyphenated.
“you would rather have left”, not “you would have rather have left”.
“directed it out and down”, not “directed out and down”.
“tightened their borders”, not “boarders”.
“taking so many people”, not “taken so many people”.
“mother’s daughter”, not “mothers daughter”.
Dromeda would think I’m 100% undignified, then, because I shrug often.
“once during an attack”, not “once on an attack”.
“great-grandfather” should be hyphenated.
“overboard” should be one word.
As should “straightaway”.
“ran past”, not “ran passed”.
“there used to be”, not “their used to be”.
“to a hidden country road”, not “to hidden country road”.
“Walburga”, not “Wulbulga”.
“the carriage and that it was horseless”, not “the carriage see that it was horseless”.
“two-story building”, not “two story building”.
alix33 chapter 8 . 5/9
“took him side-along”, not “took him side long”.
“leaving Harry”, not “laving Harry”.
“Gatehouse” should be one word.
“Under the stone bridge”, not “Under stone bridge”.
“doorway” should be one word.
“”whilst other parts”, not “whist others parts”.
“the land’s history”, not “the lands history”.
“then a newer settlement”, not “then newer settlement”.
“on the other families’ lands” not “on the other family’s lands”.
“there was a large number of beings”, not “large number of being”.
“held himself upright”, not “held himself up right”.
“twenty-five” should be hyphenated.
As should “bone-crushing”.
And “Mad-Eye”.
“in a year’s time”, not “in a years’ time”.
Way to go, Harrison, reminding Molly Weasley that your decisions saved the lives of her husband and daughter.
“outright” should be one word.
The mental pic of the gleeful facial expressions on the faces of Fred and George Weasley made me laugh.
“employ of London Gringotts” or “employ of the London branch of Gringotts”, not “employ of the London Gringotts’.
“against the aurors”, not “against the auror’s”.
“I will cast the charm again”, not “I will cast the again”.
“visit the Weasleys”, not “visit the Weasley’s”.
Hey there, Narina! So very pleased to meet you!
“buy him anything new”, not “buy him anything knew”.
TheHalflingRanger chapter 61 . 5/8
I absolutely love this series! Please keep going!
alix33 chapter 7 . 5/8
“one of the Lodge’s wolves”, not “Lodges wolves”.
“paperwork” should be one word. Why does Sirius call it “paperwork”, though, it should be “parchmentwork”, considering it’s probably Harry’s registration as an animagus eventually.
Oh, I had completely forgotten that Harry’s friends and social acquaintances would have written to him and addressed their letters to Grimmauld Place during the school holidays.
“high-backed” should be hyphenated.
Yum! For all those bookcases.
“eye-catcher” should be hyphenated.
“Passers-by would do a double take”, not “Passer-by would double take”.
The U-NO-POO poster would always make me laugh.
‘not liking the goblin’s tone”, not “goblins tone”.
“buying out their stakeholders”, not “buying out their stake owners”.
“privatizing their business”, not “there business”.
“four-bedroom house”, not “four bedroom house”.
“the cart’s single lamp”, not “the carts single lamp”.
So, the Gringotts carts work somewhat similar to the Knight Bus in Harry’s case? Or is it because he visited such an ancient vault?
Yum! At the sound of all those scrolls and books behind the middle door.
“full of an assortment”, not “full of assortment”.
I love the sound of those wooden chests.
“In a jewel chest”, not “In jewelled chest”.
“gems and accessories”, not “ems and accessories”.
“was a large collection of silverware”, not “a large collection silverware”.
“medium-sized” should be hyphenated.
“no different than”, not “no different that”.
“just a few words”, not “just few words”.
“only a Potter can open”, not “only Potter can open”.
“things she wants to tell you as do I”, not “things she wants to tell you and as do I”.
“it was my father’s”, not “it was my fathers”.
“Potter Library which will”, not “Potter Library with will”.
“just a human whom I fell in love with”, not “human who I fell in love with”.
“”muggleborns are new Purebloods”, not “muggleborns’ are new Pureblood’s”.
“Godric’s Hollow’, not “Godrics Hollow”.
“the cottage in Godric’s Hollow which my grandfather told me stories about when”, not “the cottage in Godric’s Hollow which my grandfather told me storie about the cottage when”.
“’and reducing the amount of gold needed”, not “and reduced the amount of gold”.
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