Reviews for Harry Potter and the Peverell Legacy
G Fawkes chapter 39 . 7/29
It's the Department for International Cooperation... NOT The Department of Communication.
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Just outside the Hogwarts gates IS the first available apparition point. It's a nice scene, but they don't have to walk half a mile through town to the OTHER side!
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Wasn't there a big deal made about HARRY being Sirius' proxy for House Black AND House Potter? Why Andromeda, now?
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Fire places? What are those? Is there parts of the ministry that just randomly spew fire? "Careful! Don't step on the Fire Places!"
The WORD is a compound! It's FIREPLACE(S). And it has meaning not entirely dissimilar, but as "fire places" are not a thing, then there is no comparison. You don't light a "fire place". You don't warm yourself by a " fire place". "Fire place" sounds like a Neanderthal describing a volcano half a million years ago, or whenever. (If they even talked? Did they?)
G Fawkes chapter 38 . 7/28
You need to stop being a pussy, and by association, let your characters stop being pussies! You kill that which tries to kill YOU! Period.
FanArch chapter 53 . 7/28
Just finished. Quite the drop from the first book, it feels lile Harry’s character and inteligence are on a slidder to be changed to the author convience, there is also the forgetfulness when repeating info as if it was new info. I do like the world building or more like expansion as its a fic, that is what keept me going, will see if the third is at least at that level or if it will be a drop for me.
G Fawkes chapter 34 . 7/26
The mistakes haven't stopped. I just quit pointing them out.
G Fawkes chapter 31 . 7/24
If the people captured were actually "Death Eaters" , then they were not under the imperius curse.
Ace6014 chapter 1 . 7/23
Yo fawkes take the flames somewhere else man the author is literally in the middle of re-writing this story just chill man.
G Fawkes chapter 26 . 7/21
Do horseback riders use "rains"? Do Kings and Queens rain over their countries? No? The word is REIGN, or REIGNED.
(I before e, except after c, or sounding like A, as in neighbor and weigh)
Sirius REIGNED in his magic.
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There is no UP to level ONE. ONE is the first floor DOWN from the Atrium. Two is down a floor from one. Three is three floors BELOW the Atrium. Four, Five, Six, down, down, down, Seven, eight nine. NINE FLOORS DOWN, BELOW THE entry level of the ministry. Not UP. DOWN.
G Fawkes chapter 24 . 7/20
There are ONLY three curses that cannot be shielded against, and they are not allowed to use them. The Unforgivables. So unless they are breaking the rules and throwing Unforgivables out there, then they cannot be using "curses that could not be blocked or dodged" (para).
What's the phrase? Can't have it both ways?
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"...felt heat SORE through his blood...". IF sore is even close to what you wanted there, it would be SOAR, not sore. Hopefully you know the difference, and just didn't care to fix it.
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Ron isn't worth the effort.
"... starting to BARE fruit...". Really?!
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" thought the criteria for the bands to strict."
Got me there. No clue WTF that even means, if it WAS right.(?)
Do they have a marching band, now?
G Fawkes chapter 20 . 7/17
I still don't understand "marbles". Sculptures? Bas relief (wall hanging sculptures)?
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" The sand on the floor began to shift...". Does not mean there's a goddamn SANDSTORM blowing around, limiting visibility!
Say what you mean! We don't know what's inside your head. There is NO REASON to think the girl can't see inside the stadium, because of a sandstorm based on "THE SAND BEGAN TO SHIFT" (para).
G Fawkes chapter 18 . 7/16
"It was defiantly magically expanded."
To tell you the truth? I'm more impressed with the adverb "ly" on magically, then I am horrified at "DEFIANTLY, for like, the tenth time.
G Fawkes chapter 17 . 7/16
"...walked THREW the iron gate..."
Well, now we're full circle at least. Earlier, someone THROUGH something at somebody. And now we're going THREW a gate. Effing brilliant!
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Riddle(')s (apostrophe, possessive). Riddle's
In one paragraph you have Riddles (no apostrophe) for about the 100th time, and the next sentence Dumbledore's- WITH the apostrophe. No consistency at all.

RAPPED is a knock on the door. RAPT is totally focused, as in "rapt attention".
G Fawkes chapter 16 . 7/15
WTF glass bottles?! 'Harry picked up the two glass bottles and levitated the letter..."(para).
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OM effing G! The only people who refer to Voldemort aka Riddle as "The Dark Lord" are his FOLLOWERS. Dark families. Supporters. Financial backers. Death Eaters, themselves.
Common, everyday, neutral and light side people, the sheep, say "hewhomustnotbenamed" or "you know who".
Daphne wouldn't say " the Dark Lord" because her family is neutral. OR, if it were a ruse, and they actually were Dark, then they know better than to expose themselves and their leanings.
Snape says "Dark Lord" because he's supposed to.
Anyone a magical might meet on the street who refers to the "Dark Lord" better be steered clear of in the future. And the DMLE should be able to force you to lift your left sleeve, if they suspect you.
G Fawkes chapter 15 . 7/15
OmniocuLARS. Like BInoculars, only they do more shit!

Side along aspiration. Well, that's good. At least he's been aspirated, then.
(My niece has a cat that smells like sh**. She has to take it to the vet to get it's anal glands ASPIRATED. that's gross!)
APPARATED.
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I thought Salvatore was the Italian contractor, working on Harry's house, and Hogwarts. Now he runs High Moon?
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Does no one know compound words anymore?! "Overjoyed" is a COMPOUND word. "Over joyed" is not a thing. Expression. Figure of speech. Whatever the F***. It's WRONG.
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What is "the Initiative"?!
G Fawkes chapter 14 . 7/14
"disgusting sceptical"? SPECTACLE?

"underline romantic feelings"? UNDERLYING?

" A short plumb man...". PLUMP? fat, obese, jocular, portly, stout, corpulent, ah fuck it. Look it up.

This one's a little harder . "mall windows". Is MULLED, for mullions. The wooden strips attached to the panes that divide a single pane into separate 'lites'. Panes can be 2 lite, 4 lite, 6, 8, or 9 in squares and rectangles, or Diamond mullions are crisscrossed diagonally, like you see in Tudor houses, and tada! English cottages.

" with a frightening glance". FRIGHTENED. She's not scaring her father. She's scared OF HIM.

"...obvious from the fugitive looks...". Wow! FURTIVE looks?

You have no idea what you are even typing. Just go! Go! GO! and don't look back.
G Fawkes chapter 12 . 7/14
POSSIBLY. " How can you possibly know that?"

Flitch?!
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