Reviews for When You Break
Lady Sam Mallory chapter 1 . 2/21
I love this story and how wonderfully true you stay to their characters.
waitingforAslan chapter 1 . 5/21/2016
I really liked the emotional details you put into these scenes.

These lines were so powerful to me; this IS all Dean wanted, and the price he paid was SO high.

"I just wanted some help," Dean whispers, feeling himself falling inside, a great vacuum of regret clawing at his heart. "I just wanted to save my brother . . . "


"I trusted you, and I lost . . . everything."
kandilyn chapter 1 . 4/27/2016
Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards Review April 2016

Slow start, but got better as it went on. This also showed the rift between the two boys. Thank you for sharing.
Catasauqua chapter 1 . 4/22/2016
Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards Review: Short Story/Canon April 2016

Your characterizations fell into what I would have expected for the timeframe. However, there's a cadence, of sorts, that breaks the flow while reading. It gives the story a rhythmic quality that's not entirely pleasing.

This story was grammatically clean and I found no errors in punctuation, spelling or word usage.

SPNMum chapter 1 . 4/2/2016
Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards Review - April 2016

This story was a nice commentary on the state of the brothers' relationship at this time. Dean and Sam were not hardly communicating with each other, were not reacting to each other in a brotherly manner, and were not really in touch with their feelings. You showed the depth of their detachment quite clearly. The strength that Dean gained from the Mark was also shown to be false. I found myself wishing that Gadreel would just answer the question Dean asked of "Why them?" I wanted Dean and Sam to find each other again, despite all that had come between them. You did a nice job of making me think about what they had been through up to this point, and what was still waiting for them.
HBKDEANRKO chapter 1 . 2/8/2016
Amazing writing! I love the way you write Dean and Sam!
twinklingeyes07 chapter 1 . 6/13/2014
Awesome :)
Sanderspleen chapter 1 . 6/3/2014
Its amazing you wrote this BEFORE the finale, because I'd swear it was written KNOWING what was yet to come. But I know you didn't. Your insight to both sides is almost scary, knowing now the outcome we've been given, how Sam reacted to seeing Dean so broken. Scary how near perfect THIS Sam is to THAT Sam. And Dean? As much as the Mark may have brought forth all his anger with such intensity, Dean himself hasn't changed. Not really. His cause, his love for his brother, his ultimate need to kill all things evil has always stayed true. His self-worth just gets more & more broken.

I'm slowly bringing myself to be able to read your newest post. I feel so broken from the finale, it may be a bit yet.

This was crazy-scary good GS!
Guest chapter 1 . 5/12/2014
If there is another fic out there covering this missing scene-and I haven't seen one yet-I am absolutely certain they haven't done a better job than you. I was a little confused by the way the ep was framed, and you helped me understand that scene. I was especially struck by Dean's honest, heartfelt bewilderment at Gadreel betraying them when he just wanted help for Sam. I also love that even this broken, even this Sam goes back into the warehouse after Dean, and the simple details of care like the Red Bull and the compress. I hadn't considered how much resisting the blade's bloodlust might have taken out of Dean, but you portrayed it compellingly and beautifully. Most of all, I love "Brothers go back in."
I'm sorry we have to keep writing "fix its" for the show, the last few seasons, but ones like yours almost do make it all better.
Nana56 chapter 1 . 5/2/2014
Great missing scene! Absolutely amazing how much that whole business took out of Dean and it really made me feel bad for him. I wondered if Sam would go back in for him, too. But Sam did what had to be done for the hunt, certainly not for his brother.

Maybe there's a crack in the armor there. Certainly hope so.

Nicely done. :)
JaniceC678 chapter 1 . 5/1/2014
That was beautifully, exquisitely, painfully poignant and oh so powerful. Dean's struggle for control over the mark and Sam's struggle to both protect himself AND be the brother that he knows Dean needs, that they both need...and no easy answers for either one. Well done!
Calatia chapter 1 . 4/29/2014
That. was. AMAZING!
The way you describe what goes on in their minds adds so much depth to this episode. I really like Dean's struggle to remain in control and how Sam recognises that his brother needs his help. Really shows how screwed up their relationship is at the moment. Beautiful episode tag :)
se-tar chapter 1 . 4/29/2014
Aside from how much I agree with your perspective of the brothers, this piece was really wonderful. Your fine attention to the slightest twitches and glances and pauses is absolutely awesome, the way you can pick these small things and fill the gaps.
I really hope they become brothers again, and not because Sam feels obliged/worried or because Dean needs help, I want Sam to be beside Dean because he loves him and enjoys being with him.

You should write more of these 'missing scenes' fics, they're great.
freetobescary chapter 1 . 4/29/2014
You have no idea how excited i got when i see you wrote a new story! I really needed to read a good written fic about all the crap that's been happening in recent episodes. Thank you so much for giving me that. Awesome work! Hope we can see more soon
pandora jazz chapter 1 . 4/28/2014
You did a good job trying to write the brothers, especially when they (and the writers) are holding Sam's thoughts from us.
It was painful to read what you thought Dean was thinking, but I did like the part where Dean chose to take control and not kill Gadreel. I know Dean is on the edge, but I still want him to be able to control the Mark. If Cain could and he saw something in Dean to give him the Mark, then why can't Dean control his feelings towards the Blade. Well, at least that is what I'm hoping.
It was nice to see an 'extra scene' from the episode where Sam was taking care of Dean. We got the brief look of Sam being worried about his big brother, but your added moments were great.
I love the ending thoughts from Sam, together the brothers can survive. We all know that, but will the 'SN' show writers remember.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I wasn't sure if you would write anymore 'SN' stories after you had finished your Winchester finale. I love your tags, so hope to see some more if you have time.
Hope you feel better soon.
Take care.
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