Reviews for The Serpent Sorcerer |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Great chapters, looking forward to seeing the prelim/finals. I love Kabuto's commentary on the actions of the other characters. I don't think that the female Naruto clone would really work out since if he needed an Uzumaki to stick Yin-Kyuubi into he's already got Karin, so he wouldn't have to go through the trouble of cloning Naruto. I'm not sure how I feel about the fem-Orochimaru clone, if you don't feel like writing her into the harem, you could always give them a father/daughter relationship since that's kind of what he is as her creator. Hope that helps. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't think i've ever seen a Harry is Kabuto story. When I read the summery and looked at the title picture I saw Dumbledore reading out the name from the goblet of fire and then Snake Sage Kabuto appearing and scaring the shit out of everyone! "WHO DARES SUMMON THE SNAKE SAGE!" Though I was wondering if you could add a bit of something about Basilisks in the story? The Chamber of Secrets was my favorite book because It went into the history of Hogwarts the most and had a 70 foot 1000 year old Basilisk in it! OH I KNOW! What if Harry/Kabuto gets the vision from the Diary and the events of the chamber! (Though Dumbledork will probably be the one to kill the Basilisk and not the the arrogant BWL) Anyways what if after the vision Kabuto summons one of the snake summons and asks them about Basilisk? I won't even get mad if the Snakes think that the Basilisk is an abomination because it is created instead of birthed. Just something about Basilisks and Kabuto getting intrigued by them. Anyways keep up the amazing work and stay awesome! |
![]() ![]() ![]() awesome harem, awesome chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() Harry world: siruis cousin Bella, and don't forget Luna What will happen next time |
![]() ![]() ![]() You should put more girls in naruto's world to add in the harem, while harry's world, no I don't think so. |
![]() ![]() ![]() great chapter and please say that Gaia is part of the harem. |
![]() ![]() ![]() good story |
![]() ![]() ![]() great idea and great story, but does harry remember things from before he became kabuto and will he learn magic or is magic chakra? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Over all the chapter is quite good although Danzó's ANBu is called ROOT not foundation. Because it's the village hidden in the trees and the roots are what keep the trees strong |
![]() ![]() ![]() while the idea of Harry becoming Kabute is really interesting, the way you wite it out leaves to be desired. You "write how you speak" instead of using a writing style suitable for a written text. While you can let your characters use colloquial language or let them cuss all they want, be it through direct speech or by writing out their thoughts, but writers should never cuss or use colloquiel languige in a description for the reader. So you should avoid sentences like : "then some creepy old dude named dumbledore and my parents found us in the debris " and replace them with for example : "A while later, my parents and one of their closest friends, Albus Dumbledore, found us in the debris." |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice chapter! Can't wait for more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great chapter Update soon |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() great chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() great story is the first i see with Harry as Kabuto. and is you make a harem Guren, Tayuya, Karin, and specially Anko will make great love interest from him. but Anko has already mark Anko in this story or will she be Kabuto age. And who will be with him from the magical world i like to see him with Fleur, Tonks, Angelina, Alicia or anyother but it will be funny is he revive someone like Dumbledore sister or give a body to the daughther of Rowena the ghost of ravenclaw. but is your decision, i cant wait to see what happen next. |